Talk:CIVT-DT/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Nominator: 16:56, 30 June 2024 (UTC)

Reviewer: ZKang123 (talk · contribs) 01:18, 16 July 2024 (UTC)

I will also review this.--ZKang123 (talk) 01:18, 16 July 2024 (UTC)

Images
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Copyedits

 * Earwig don't show any close paraphrasing issues.

Lead

 * after the application of Baton Broadcasting for a television licence was granted from a field of five bids. – after Baton Brodcasting's application for a television licence was granted. Not sure how to incorporate "from a field of five bids". This sentence is already chunky and filled with details.
 * young-skewing outlet – consider young-leaning outlet?
 * Skewing is perfectly normal in marketing to describe this. Sammi Brie  (she/her • t • c) 05:04, 18 July 2024 (UTC)

More comments to come.--ZKang123 (talk) 01:56, 18 July 2024 (UTC)

History

 * Wikilink first instances of Vancouver, British Columbia and Toronto
 * CanWest, then-owner of what is now the Global Television Network, proposed a new station in Victoria... Split this entire chunk of a sentence.
 * CHUM limited and not Chum Bucket of Plankton eh
 * In a move called unprecedented – In a move regarded as "unprecedented"
 * Is "twinstick" usual parlance in this context?
 * Yes, in Canada (you would see the word duopoly here in a U.S. article). My ProQuest search turned up a 1982 article title in Broadcaster (a trade publication) for Canada's biggest "twinstick". It also appears in one Globe and Mail article and occasionally in specialty material.
 * approved the Baton/Electrohome application and denied the others – could shorten further to only approved the Baton/Electrohome application
 * Just a bit of clarification, the CRTC general call doesn't say only one station will get approved right?
 * Correct. They seem to have had the option to approve multiple stations. They did not.
 * which was perceived to not be reflected on the existing Vancouver television stations – which was perceived to be unreflective/unpresented/underrepresented by the existing...
 * At the time that the licence was awarded – when the license was awarded
 * Baton was making other moves highly pertinent to CIVT's future outside of Vancouver. – Baton took other measures to ensure CIVT's future beyond Vancouver.
 * That's a misread. I have reworded this and added something glaringly missing: the first link in the body to CTV Television Network.
 * In October, it executed an asset swap – I guess "it" refers to the channel and not Baton. Would clarify here.
 * For the sentence Daryl Duke, an influential Vancouver film director who had previously founded CKVU in 1976..., split this entire chunk.
 * He was joined by another member, Simon Fraser University faculty member Catherine Murray, in resigning – Another member, Catherine Murray, who was from the Simon Fraser University, resigned. or Catherine Murray, who was from the Simon Fraser University, resigned alongside him.
 * A year on from the launch, analysis of VTV's first year in operation was mixed. – Remove the clause A year on from the launch given well, you already mention of its "first year in operation"
 * showed little movement – like show little impact?
 * scored a coup – this seems to be lifted right from the source.
 * In December 1998, management hired an external candidate for news director, leading to several resignations, including that of Jackson, who returned to BCTV; the move was seen as a blow to morale. – This sentence is a bit long, suggest splitting
 * Would also suggest simplifying this sentence as well: A yearlong dispute between CanWest and Shaw Communications for control of BCTV parent WIC's assets was ended in October 1999 with a deal that saw WIC's television holdings, among them BCTV, go to CanWest. Maybe A yearlong dispute between CanWest and Shaw Communications for control of BCTV parent WIC's assets ended in October 1999. The deal resulted in CanWest gaining control of WIC's television assets, including BCTV.
 * CTV was said to be interested in possibly acquiring the dominant BCTV. – CTV expressed interest in the possibility of acquiring the dominant BCTV.
 * Another impact was that – might remove this clause because it now sounds more like an essay than an encyclopedia.
 * hosted by Rena Heer; however, due to low ratings – Given "however" is already a contrasting connector, the semi-colon is unnecessary and could just be a full-stop.
 * they cited the decision not to make another long-term commitment in the form of a contract renewal at their ages – this sentence is a bit unclear. So they decided to resign and not renew their contracts because of their ages?
 * Yes, because their contracts were coming up for renewal.

I don't find any problems for the Technical information section.

Source spotchecks

 * Refs 9, 16, 25, 37, 39, 43 check out.
 * Swap [24][22]
 * I note Catherine Murray was first mentioned in Ref 9 (on "unprecedented") and later ref 37

No other issues I can spot. Putting on hold until the above issues are addressed.--ZKang123 (talk) 02:55, 19 July 2024 (UTC)
 * That should be everything! Sammi Brie  (she/her • t • c) 03:56, 19 July 2024 (UTC)