Talk:Camouflage/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Cwmhiraeth (talk · contribs) 12:55, 4 April 2012 (UTC)

This is a subject that interests me and I will be starting the review in the next few days. Cwmhiraeth (talk) 12:55, 4 April 2012 (UTC)

First reading
I have read through the article once, concentrating mainly on the prose. In general it is quite acceptable but I have noted down below a few problems that I noticed. Have a look at the Manual of style. Cwmhiraeth (talk) 13:15, 5 April 2012 (UTC)


 * History, #3. - This sentence needs clarification. DONE.


 * Disruptive patterning, - The first sentence is not good grammar. REWORDED.


 * Eliminating shadow, - The first sentence is not well punctuated. Nor am I keen on the use of "perhaps the exception that proves the rule" SENTENCE SPLIT. PHRASE REMOVED.


 * Motion camouflage, - The second sentence is not well punctuated. Nor is the last sentence. DONE.


 * Crypsis by changing skin pattern, colour, - The first sentence should not end with a preposition. REWORDED.


 * Crypsis by countershading, #1. - The second sentence is muddled. You can't really say that "shadow" makes an animal lightest on top! DONE.


 * Crypsis by countershading, #1. - In the second sentence, it is unclear who said what. Do you need to mention Peter Forbes? REWORDED. (No need to name Forbes, I think.)