Talk:Cannibal (EP)/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: Calvin999 (talk · contribs) 18:20, 9 March 2012 (UTC) Hello, I will be reviewing this article.


 * 1) It is reasonably well written.
 * a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
 * 1) It is factually accurate and verifiable.
 * a (references): b (citations to reliable sources):  c (OR):
 * 1) It is broad in its coverage.
 * a (major aspects): b (focused):
 * 1) It follows the neutral point of view policy.
 * Fair representation without bias:
 * 1) It is stable.
 * No edit wars, etc.:
 * 1) It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
 * a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail:
 * 1) It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
 * a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail:
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail:

Can you use a ✅ or ❌ against comments please.

Infobox

 * Use
 * Can you provide an alt= caption for the artwork.

Lead

 * Originally the record was → Put a comma after "Originally"
 * to only be released → The use of "only" doesn't make sense here.
 * such as Dr. Luke, as the executive producer, → such as the executive producer Dr. Luke
 * Critical reception of the album has been generally positive. A common complaint amongst critics was the overuse of Auto-Tune, while the album's production was generally highlighted. → This doesn't read write. You say it was positive, then say how there was a common complaint.
 * Yes it does, just because something is positive doesn't mean it didn't receive critiques; the album overall has a score of 73/100, so for every 7 positive there's about 3 negative issues.
 * Well for me it doesn't flow. Aaron  &bull; You  Da  One
 * Okay. I'll leave this one. Aaron  &bull; You  Da  One
 * Critical reception of the album has been generally positive. → Cannibal garnered positive reviews from music critics.
 * I avoid using that phase because the word "generally" helps to keep the article neutral. The above implies that there was zero mixed or negative reviews.
 * The use what I suggested, and add "generally". Aaron  &bull; You  Da  One
 * I combined both for an equilibrium. Aaron  &bull; You  Da  One
 * A common complaint amongst critics → However, a common complaint was
 * I did a slight c/e on two words.

Background and development

 * Kesha recorded the abundance of Cannibal over a two week span with a variety of producers because she was on a time crunch and was only available to record the album for those two weeks in September. → This reads like a fan has written it.
 * During an interview with Billboard → With who? And why is Billboard not linked?
 * Kesha worked with similar → "similar" isn't the right word here. Similar producers? What makes them similar to her debut album?
 * Unlike her debut album though, Kesha enlisted the help of producer Bangladesh. → Source?

Composition

 * "Cannibal" makes use of synth → Link "synth"
 * maneater → Link perhaps, as some people might not know what this means.
 * The album's title track, "Cannibal" makes use of synth and dance driven backings with Kesha singing about maneater tendencies and makes a reference to serial-killer, Jeffrey Dahmer. → Source?
 * The song is more dominantly an electro infused track that uses a synth beat backing. → Source? It helps if your provide a citation at the end of each sentence.
 * She raps over a thundering bass line and ticking beat backing, while speaking about telling off rich guys trying to hit on her and buy her attention. → Source? Also, think you could write "telling off rich guys trying to hit on her" a bit more encyclopedically.
 * Lil Wayne's "Milli"" → Remove the double quotation mark.
 * is dominantly an electro-pop → "dominantly" doesn't work here.
 * the late 1980s, the song → Shouldn't this need a full stop of a semi-colon, not a comma?
 * Lyrically speaking → Remove "speaking"
 * Lyrically, the song speaks of a young love gone bad. → Source? And can you try not to use "Lyrically," so often.
 * Music reviewer Bill Lamb → Bill Lamb of About.com
 * electropop is linked twice in this section.

Critical reception

 * Although he was negative in that aspect, Thomas wrote this about Kesha, → This reads a bit fan-like.
 * She is who she is and she offers no apologies." → I assume this isn't supposed to be it's own sentence and is apart of the previous?
 * Leah Greenblatt of Entertainment Weekly commented on Kesha's writing of the album noting that her "herky-jerky rhymes still sound like they came from the bathroom wall of a reform-school kindergarten", not citing that as a negative but instead noting, "Cannibal does have a sulfurous end-of-days whiff about it". → Bit of an awkward read.
 * He also noted that when Kesha's vocals were stripped down she could actually sing and called Kesha's ballads, He also noted that when Kesha's vocals were stripped down she could actually sing and called Kesha's ballads, Needs to be a pause somewhere hear I think.
 * able to pull off such → Reads a bit fan-like.
 * Gary Graff from Billboard → Billboard should be italicised.
 * "Kesha sinks her teeth into some fresh flavors on Cannibal, which will certainly enhance her "Animal" attraction." → Shouldn't have quotes within quotes. Check the rest of this section for them.
 * stated as a positive praising Dr. Luke → Need a comma after positive.

Commericial performance

 * In the United States, Cannibal entered the Billboard 200 on the week of December 2, 2010 at position fifteen. → Source?
 * write "chart" at Billboard Top 200.
 * at position → at number
 * 250,000 in sales. → 250,000 what? lol that wasn't ambiguous but I added another word
 * I know, but it's just clarification. Aaron  &bull; You  Da  One
 * shipment → shipments
 * debuted sounds a lot better than entered.

Singles

 * She hopes the song → Kesha stated that she hopes the song
 * Put "chart" after Hot 100.
 * shifting over 280,000 digital copies. → I always think shifting sounds like something struggles, which is clearly not the case here. Change.
 * The song became the seventeenth song in the history of the chart to accomplish that feat. The song also reached number one in Australia, the United Kingdom and number two in Canada, while charting within the top ten in numerous other countries. → Both sentences start with "The song", change one of them to avoid repetition.
 * mixed to generally positive. → I don't see how a song can be described as "mixed to generally positive," mixed is mixed and positive is positive. Mixed and generally positive is basically saying mixed. . This is not ambiguous. The song received positive reviews and mixed reviews. To state the song was "mixed" or "positive" when there are both reviews present is against WP:BIASED; inclusion of both is to remain neutral. I have added another word, however.
 * Hmm, okay. Aaron  &bull; You  Da  One

Promotion

 * Following the performance Kesha appeared live on November 21, 2010, at the 2010 American Music Awards where she once again performed the single. → Following the performance, Kesha performed the song at the American Music Awards on November 21, 2010, in the United States. And source?
 * The performance first opened with previous single, → Kesha opened the performance with "Take it Off"
 * was opened → Remove "was". "Opened" is already in the past tense so "was" is unnecessary.
 * Put sources at the end of sentences please. WP:SOURCE "but it is usually sufficient to add the citation to the end of the sentence or paragraph" I cite mine when at the end of the use of that source - sometimes one sentence, sometimes 3.
 * Okay. I generally think that when there is no source at the end of a sentence, it's WP:OR. But that's just my opinion. Aaron  &bull; You  Da  One
 * I don't understand why there is a one line paragraph? Just put it on the end of the paragraph. Because they are separate things. One is about live promotion, while one is about a tour.
 * Hmm, okay. Still promotion though. Aaron  &bull; You  Da  One

Promotional songs

 * I think this should be a subsection of the Singles section. None are "promo-singles" and are thus irrelevant to the "singles" section; we have no third party sources calling them promos and iTunes links are not enough.
 * Why is this a "Promotional songs" section then? It should just be "Other charted songs". Aaron  &bull; You  Da  One
 * Why is Billboard Hot 100 linked again? "chart" should be after 100. You should write "chart" after every chart you write about. Because it's a different section. Things are allowed to be linked more than once in a larger article, just no in the same sections.
 * You know you are only mean't to link once in the lead and once in the body, right? Aaron  &bull; You  Da  One
 * So "Blow" was a single and a promotional single? Song, then single.
 * It's a bit pointless talking about the same thing in two sections. It's repetition. Aaron  &bull; You  Da  One

Track listing

 * Tracklist as per the Cannibal audio CD. → Tracklist adapted from the liner notes of Cannibal.

Personnel

 * No issues.

Charts and certification

 * All tables should conform with WP:ACCESS. See here for example.

Release hsitory

 * All tables should conform with WP:ACCESS. See here for example.

Summary
I have finished now. References need work as well as prose conerns. On hold for 7 days.
 * Couple of replies. Aaron  &bull; You  Da  One
 * All of my concerns have been addressed. Passing. :). Aaron  &bull; You  Da  One 11:55, 12 March 2012 (UTC)