Talk:Canoe Fight (Creek War)/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: Tomobe03 (talk · contribs) 16:48, 13 July 2021 (UTC)

I'll have a look at this nomination.--Tomobe03 (talk) 16:48, 13 July 2021 (UTC)

Prose

 * The "firendly" vs "hostile" Creek warriors seems non-neutral to me because the expressions assume the reader is viewing the information from the point of view of the US. While the source books certainly were written for the US readers, it would be better to modify these expressions to "Creek warriors hostile/allied/friendly/etc to the US/British" as appropriate.
 * Is the distinction between the Red and White Sticks only hostility towards the US?
 * Comment: No, it was not. Note that "White Sticks" is a modern invented term, not attested anywhere AFAIK before the late 1990s. The "Red Sticks" or rebel faction were opposed by the Creek National Council and its "light horse" police commanded by William McIntosh. The 1813-14 Creek war was a civil war with religious overtones in which Creek rebels interpreted U.S. military losses to the British in 1812 as an opportunity to overthrow what they saw as a corrupt and co-opted National Council. Georgia and Tennessee grandees then took the Red Stick rebellion as an occasion to invade the Creek Nation and annex land. When these state-led invasions bogged down, the U.S. Army came to the rescue, incidentally commissioning Andrew Jackson, who exceeded his orders in imposing a cession treaty on the Creeks, then invading neutral Spanish Florida in pursuit of Creeks and their Seminole allies. Casting the conflict in terms of "friendly" and "hostile" Indians enshrines U.S. military reports as the only authoritative interpretation of the war. — ℜ ob C. alias ALAROB 18:52, 19 June 2023 (UTC)
 * Was the hostility caused by encroachment on the Creek lands? If so, why were some Creek warriors still friendly?
 * Move wikilink to Mississippi Territory to the first instance of the name.
 * Removed wikilink in the background section as it's linked in the first sentence of the article. If it should also be linked in the first section of the article, I'll do that too.Dofftoubab (talk) 02:38, 21 July 2021 (UTC)
 * It would probably be a good idea to give an idea where Creek lands are for readers unfamiliar with the topic. No need to be overly specific though.
 * Corrected all the above points in the background section. Hope that clarifies everything!Dofftoubab (talk) 02:38, 21 July 2021 (UTC)
 * In ...crossed the river at French's (see Brasier's on map) Landing... are French's Landing and Brasier's Landing the same place only under the same name? If so, I'd make this clearer, for example "crossed the river at French's Landing (depicted as Brasier's Landing on the map published in the Lossing's book)".
 * DoneDofftoubab (talk) 02:38, 21 July 2021 (UTC)
 * The map should have an improved caption stating where the map comes from, eg. "Map of Alabama during the War of 1812 published by Benson Lossing. The site of the Canoe Fight is located in the center/Brasier's Landing."
 * DoneDofftoubab (talk) 02:38, 21 July 2021 (UTC)
 * Edited. — ℜ ob C. alias ALAROB 18:27, 19 June 2023 (UTC)
 * In ...Dale and his volunteers ambushed a band of warriors who were preparing food... was it really an ambush? If the warriors were on the move, I'd have no problem here, but can one really ambush another while preparing food? I would say here more neutral "attacked", but I'm not native speaker of English, so please correct me if I got the meaning wrong.
 * I've always taken "ambush" as just being a "surprise attack on an unsuspecting enemy". I thought it added a little more emphasis on the fact that the warriors were unaware of Dale and his volunteers--hence the fact they were preparing food instead of expecting any confrontation. As an aside, even though you're not a native speaker you have an awesome use of the English language. I would've never known you weren't a native speaker if you had not said anything. You're doing great!Dofftoubab (talk) 02:38, 21 July 2021 (UTC)
 * Something's missing in These twelve were preparing some of the captured food when they heard the men from the west bank warn they were surrounded by warriors. Could it be "These twelve were preparing some of the captured food when they heard the men from the west bank warn them they were surrounded by warriors.?
 * DoneDofftoubab (talk) 02:38, 21 July 2021 (UTC)
 * In Captain Dale called for eight of the soldiers... "Captain" is redundant as it has already been established as his rank in the text above. I'd drop it from the sentence.
 * DoneDofftoubab (talk)
 * In The smaller canoe, paddled by a free black named Caesar,... judginng from use in African Americans, Black should be capitalised. You might want to recheck this though.
 * Done. The article Free Negro capitalizes it, so thanks for pointing that out!Dofftoubab (talk) 02:38, 21 July 2021 (UTC)
 * I'd suggest changing "company" in The company marched two more miles up the west bank... with "group", "force" or something else to avoid potential confusion with Company (military unit).
 * DoneDofftoubab (talk) 02:38, 21 July 2021 (UTC)
 * In Dale became a hero and was afterwards known as "The Daniel Boone of Alabama. it would be good to describe briefly hero to whom - i.e. among the local population, in the Mississippi Territory or nationally.
 * Done. Just added "to early Alabamians" as is listed in the source.Dofftoubab (talk) 02:38, 21 July 2021 (UTC)
 * Per MOS:SURNAME, drop first names in Jeremiah Austill served as a clerk... James Smith continued to fight...
 * DoneDofftoubab (talk) 02:38, 21 July 2021 (UTC)
 * The same applies to ...murals for Mobile's Old City Hall in 1936 that showed Jeremiah Austill and Caesar during the fight.
 * DoneDofftoubab (talk) 02:38, 21 July 2021 (UTC)
 * The entire Location section seems a bit odd to me. Its primary purpose seems to be to discuss the marker. I'd recommend you to move the entire contents of this section to the end of the Legacy section since the marker really belongs there and there is no specific location of the battle discussed in the eponymous section.
 * Done. Combined both sectionsDofftoubab (talk) 02:38, 21 July 2021 (UTC)
 * The lede is brief, but there is not much to summarize. However, I believe it would be worth mentioning Dale in the lede considering that the skirmish earned him the name of a hero, and I'd include some legacy info (no more than a sentence) there too since that part of the prose seems to be missing in the lede.
 * Added a sentence to the end of the lead. Let me know if it needs to be modified.Dofftoubab (talk) 02:38, 21 July 2021 (UTC)

MOS

 * There are couple of things regarding MOS:SURNAME in the prose comments above.
 * Per MOS:SANDWICH, avoid placing images on both sides of the text sandwiching prose between them. Specifically, I'd suggest moving the mural image further below to the legacy section.
 * DoneDofftoubab (talk) 02:38, 21 July 2021 (UTC)

Tools

 * No duplicate links found - no action required.
 * Earwig's Copyvio Detector reports no issues - no action required.
 * Checklinks reports no broken links - no action required.
 * Dablinks reports no disambiguation links - no action required.

Images

 * Images have suitable licences - no action required.
 * All images except the map have appropriate captions. The comments regarding the map caption are included in the prose section.
 * There is a sandwiching issue regarding a couple of immages set out in the MOS section.

Nice work overall. There are few thing that need to be tweaked, so I'm placing the review on hold.--Tomobe03 (talk) 16:29, 20 July 2021 (UTC)


 * Responded to all the suggestions. Thanks so much for reviewing the article and working on it. I appreciated your thoroughness and attention to detail! Dofftoubab (talk) 02:38, 21 July 2021 (UTC)

Thanks for the quick response. I'll take a final look at it in few hours and get back to you.--Tomobe03 (talk) 13:19, 21 July 2021 (UTC)

Had another look: The article complies with GA criteria now, therefore passing. Good work!--Tomobe03 (talk) 12:50, 22 July 2021 (UTC)