Talk:Carlos Vela/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Kosack (talk · contribs) 06:37, 15 July 2018 (UTC)

I'll have a look at this one, will post review as soon as possible. Kosack (talk) 06:37, 15 July 2018 (UTC)

Infobox

 * What's the source for his full name?

Lead

 * "finally joining Real Sociedad", reword to avoid repetition from the previous sentence.
 * Link Real Sociedad.
 * Link friendly to Exhibition game.
 * "and scored his first goal for Mexico", change to "his first goal for his country"''. We've already established he plays for Mexico in the first half of the sentence.
 * 2014 World Cup > 2014 FIFA World Cup.
 * "Aside from his Mexican nationality, Vela holds a Spanish passport.", is this really relevant enough for the lead section?

Early life

 * "was born 1 March 1989 in Cancún, Quintana Roo,", add Mexico after Quintana Roo.
 * "but an injury caused by a torn ligament caused him to retire", needs rewording. I'm guessing the torn ligament was the injury that forced him to retire, the current wording makes it sound like the ligament caused other problems.
 * local teams > local football teams.
 * We don't refer to players by their first names, there are several uses of Carlos in this section. Replace them with Vela.
 * Second paragraph is unsourced.
 * The last paragraph of this section is really the start of his club career and is largely about Guadalajara, his first team. This could probably be moved to the first section of his club career section, keeping any relevant info.

Guadalajara

 * The only ref in this section is expired so I'm unable to check but, judging by the title and quote, I'm guessing it doesn't support anything other than the information about his father.

Arsenal

 * "won the race for his signature", comes across as rather journalistic. "Before signing for English club Arsenal..." perhaps?
 * "but was returned right away with no games played", what was the reason he returned without playing?

Salamanca

 * Can this section be expanded? Two sentences for a season long loan spell with over thirty games doesn't seem a lot.

Osasuna (loan)

 * "bigger clubs of La Liga", bigger clubs is an unsourced opinion and probable WP:PUFFERY.
 * "with the option of an extension for another year.", who had the option?
 * Again, there's room for expansion here.

Return to Arsenal

 * "in the Eduardo mould", is Eduardo's style of play really notable? Perhaps, "a striker in the style of Arsenal teammate Eduardo"?
 * Link hat-trick.
 * "voted as one of Arsenal's Greatest 50 Goals", voted for by who? Who was conducting the poll?
 * "making him just the second Mexican player to score a goal in the Premier League.", source?
 * Fourth paragraph only has one reference and ot doesn't appear to support the majority of the information.
 * "On 9 May, he scored the fourth goal of Arsenal's victory over Fulham.", what's notable about this goal?
 * "Vela wore the number 11 shirt for the 2010–11 campaign, as Robin van Persie switched to the number 10, which was vacated by former Arsenal defender William Gallas. Coincidentally, Vela's brother Alejandro also wore the number 11 shirt while playing for Cruz Azul in Mexico.", Unsourced. I would also question whether we really need so much info on a shirt number, his brother wearing the same number for a former club is particularly questionable.
 * Carlos Vela > Vela.

West Bromwich (loan)

 * Use the full team name in the heading.
 * Wolves game appears to be unsourced.

Real Sociedad (loan)

 * "As Vela was sent away on loan, his number 11 shirt was given to new Arsenal signing André Santos,[27] although the club's website still listed Vela as having the shirt number 11.", again do we really need this much on a shirt number?

Real Sociedad

 * "After a successful loan spell in Spain", successful isn't supported by the sources so seems more like the opinion of the editor that added the information.
 * ''"He was given the number 11 shirt."', source?
 * This section is rather disjointed in places, it has five consecutive, very short paragraphs that are "On (insert date) Vela did this..." I think his later years need knitting together into neater paragraphs.

Los Angeles FC

 * "he was signed as the club's first designated player", this sentence comes before his club is mentioned so doesn't really make sense. Also, I think it needs more explaining. Why was he named this five months before joining the club, was it a pre-contract agreement?
 * There's no source for him joining the club in January 2018.
 * "On 10 March, Vela would score his first goal", there is a close date mentioned in the previous sentence so I would drop the date her and simply start "Six days later..." Also change would score to scored for correct tense.
 * "On 13 April, he would score the first goal in a 2–0 win over the Vancouver Whitecaps.[61] A week later he would go on to convert a penalty during Los Angeles' 5–3 win over Montreal Impact.[62] On 13 May, he would score Los Angeles' second goal in a 2–2 tie against New York City FC.[63] A couple of days later he would score the only goal in their loss against the Portland Timbers in a 2–1 loss", what's notable about these goals?

Mexico U-17

 * Only one source included in this section and it doesn't support the majority of the information.

Mexico U-20

 * Unsourced. Also, if there is no room for expansion here, then I would suggest merging the U17 and U20 sections under a single Youth heading.

Early years

 * There's a large amount of unsourced information here, the first, second and fourth paragraphs have no sourcing at all.

Return

 * Second paragraph is largely unsourced.

Career statistics

 * Do we need five sources for the stats table? Are they all covering individual information?

Style of play

 * "A look at his play throughout the 2018 Major League Soccer season", this needs rewording as it sounds like you're reviewing his performances rather than the source.