Talk:Carmel Busuttil/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Kosack (talk · contribs) 12:16, 5 October 2018 (UTC)

I'll take a look at this one, will post review as soon as possible. Kosack (talk) 12:16, 5 October 2018 (UTC)

Initial review

Infobox

 * Unlink Malta. Per WP:OVERLINK, linking countries should generally be avoided unless there is any real relevance to the article.
 * ✅ —Chrisportelli (talk) 20:25, 5 October 2018 (UTC)

Lead

 * Source for his nickname? There doesn't seem to be any mention of it in the text, so it'll need one here.
 * ✅ —Chrisportelli (talk) 20:25, 5 October 2018 (UTC)


 * "he led the line", this is a term that people unfamiliar with football won't understand. Played for would be sufficient.
 * ✅ —Chrisportelli (talk) 20:25, 5 October 2018 (UTC)


 * On international level > At international level.
 * ✅ —Chrisportelli (talk) 20:25, 5 October 2018 (UTC)


 * "and up till March 2010 was Malta's highest goalscorer", could do with rephrasing. At the moment it sounds a little like the article simply hasn't been updated. Maybe "and was Malta's highest goalscorer until March 2010, when his record was surpassed by..." or something similar?
 * ✅ —Chrisportelli (talk) 20:25, 5 October 2018 (UTC)


 * The lead could do with some expansion. For an article this size, I would expect around two to three paragraphs. His club career could certainly due with more information.
 * ✅ —Chrisportelli (talk) 20:25, 5 October 2018 (UTC)

Rabat Ajax

 * "Busuttil got his introduction to football", could be simplified "Busuttil was introduced to football..." perhaps?
 * ✅ —Chrisportelli (talk) 20:25, 5 October 2018 (UTC)


 * The opening paragraph states he joined the amateur side who subsequently became Rabat Ajax. But the next sentence says he then joined Rabat Ajax? Do you mean the first team?
 * ✅ —Chrisportelli (talk) 20:25, 5 October 2018 (UTC)


 * "to make a return in the top-level of Maltese", sentence is a little clunky perhaps. "To return to the top-level of Maltese..." maybe?
 * ✅ —Chrisportelli (talk) 20:25, 5 October 2018 (UTC)

Genk

 * "During the summer of 1988, with constant speculation on the next move for Busuttil", the source doesn't appear to support this.
 * ✅ —Chrisportelli (talk) 20:25, 5 October 2018 (UTC)


 * There's a couple of phrases here, such as "entered the fray", "budged on the sum" and "off the table" which come across as rather journalistic and informal.
 * ✅ —Chrisportelli (talk) 19:55, 6 October 2018 (UTC)


 * Link Malta Football Association.
 * ✅ —Chrisportelli (talk) 20:25, 5 October 2018 (UTC)


 * The section explaining the atmosphere at the club could do with explaining in more detail, i.e. the merger of the two clubs.
 * ✅ —Chrisportelli (talk) 15:22, 7 October 2018 (UTC)


 * "his first out of the three goals for the season", should that be "of his three goals..."?
 * ✅ —Chrisportelli (talk) 20:25, 5 October 2018 (UTC)


 * "salvaged their status with four points above the relegation places", sentence doesn't really make sense. Add finishing in place of with would probably do it.
 * ✅ —Chrisportelli (talk) 12:34, 6 October 2018 (UTC)

Silema Wanderers

 * "back to his homeland" > "back in his homeland"
 * ✅ —Chrisportelli (talk) 20:25, 5 October 2018 (UTC)


 * Unlink Valletta, previously linked in the article.
 * ✅ —Chrisportelli (talk) 20:25, 5 October 2018 (UTC)


 * "the opener game" > the opening game.
 * ✅ —Chrisportelli (talk) 20:25, 5 October 2018 (UTC)

International career

 * Although the match is notable, is it notable that he was an unused sub in their 12-1 defeat to Spain?
 * ✅ —Chrisportelli (talk) 15:22, 7 October 2018 (UTC)


 * Also infamous sounds like a WP:PEACOCK term.
 * ✅ —Chrisportelli (talk) 15:22, 7 October 2018 (UTC)


 * "Busuttil twisted and turned away", again a little informal.
 * ✅ —Chrisportelli (talk) 15:22, 7 October 2018 (UTC)


 * "As part of the 1990 FIFA World Cup qualifier", this doesn't really make grammatical sense.
 * ✅ —Chrisportelli (talk) 15:22, 7 October 2018 (UTC)


 * A lot of this section comes across more as a match report rather than an encyclopaedic article. Terms like "received a through pass from Raymond Vella and rounded the goalkeeper", "Following a well-fought first half" and "and fed an unmarked" all comes across as rather journalistic reporting rather than stating the facts.
 * ✅ —Chrisportelli (talk) 15:22, 7 October 2018 (UTC)


 * "Busuttil wore for the first time the captain's armband", sentence needs rewording. "Was named captain for the first time" perhaps?
 * ✅ —Chrisportelli (talk) 15:22, 7 October 2018 (UTC)

Managerial career

 * Unlink Malta Football Association, linked previously in the article. Also, the MFA abbreviation should be placed after the first usage in the article (Genk section).
 * ✅ —Chrisportelli (talk) 20:25, 5 October 2018 (UTC)


 * Do we know why he rejected the offer?
 * —Chrisportelli (talk) 12:34, 6 October 2018 (UTC)


 * Last sentence of the second paragraph is unsourced.
 * ✅ —Chrisportelli (talk) 20:25, 5 October 2018 (UTC)


 * "as well heading the youth academy", word missing here.
 * ✅ —Chrisportelli (talk) 20:25, 5 October 2018 (UTC)

Personal life

 * Unlink Rabat Ajax, linked previously in the article.
 * ✅ —Chrisportelli (talk) 20:25, 5 October 2018 (UTC)

Career statistics

 * Does NFT support continental appearances?
 * ✅ —Chrisportelli (talk) 12:34, 6 October 2018 (UTC)


 * "which are considered as full international A matches", not by FIFA. Both the rsssf and nft also exclude them so I would say they shouldn't be included.
 * RSSSF and NFT show 111 caps, while EU-Football.info and the Malta Football Association show 113 caps. The additional 2 matches were added as per the note on the official MFA results list, which notes that "MALTA’s home matches vs Denmark XI (1958), vs Italy ‘C’ (1961), vs Italy U21 (1984), vs England ‘B’ (1987) and others are recognised by FIFA as International ‘A’ Matches". FIFA on its hand (strangely) shows Busuttil has 110 caps. Need to pick a single source of truth. —Chrisportelli (talk) 15:22, 7 October 2018 (UTC)


 * Once a competition or friendly is linked once in the international goals section, there's no need to link each following entry.
 * ✅ —Chrisportelli (talk) 20:25, 5 October 2018 (UTC)

Follow up

 * There are a few duplicate links in the management career section, Maltese national team, Third Division and John Buttigieg are all previously linked.
 * Maltese Premier League is linked here rather than the first mention in the text (back in the Rabat section). Move the link there.
 * If you're keeping the non-FIFA recognised matches then the note needs to indicate who considers them full international matches. So, considered as full international A matches ... by the Malta Football Association.

Apologies for the wait. Assistant manager positions are usually frowned upon in the infobox but the template documentation seems to allow for notable career spells so I'm not gonna complain about that. I've performed some minor copyediting if you want to check over them but I don't there's anything major to think about. Once the minor points above are addressed, I think we're there. Kosack (talk) 06:51, 10 October 2018 (UTC)
 * Applied the changes as proposed. —Chrisportelli (talk) 16:48, 10 October 2018 (UTC)
 * Happy to promote, nice work. Kosack (talk) 19:33, 10 October 2018 (UTC)