Talk:Caroline Harrison

Pre-FAC review
I was asked to look over this article prior to FAC, so here are some comments. I will copy-edit as I go in the interests of efficiency, but please feel to question any changes I make, I am happy to discuss them. Vanamonde (Talk) 23:58, 7 November 2022 (UTC)

Prose

 * "Harrison pursued education throughout her life" This sounds like she was taking classes her whole life, which I assume isn't the intended meaning.
 * "she was a hostess as the campaign was carried out in their home" worth rephrasing, as this isn't literally true: I assume it was an important center of organizing.
 * "Her father left Miami University following a dispute" do we know when? Without the year, this is jarring.
 * "While in college, " but we've not been told she's gone to college yet.
 * "buggy" has many meanings, can a link be found?
 * "one of her father's students at Farmer's College" we haven't been told that her father taught at Farmer's college, so this is an odd introduction.
 * "When visiting her husband at camp" what camp?
 * The first paragraph of "political life" is mostly about other things, and arguably the first lady section is also political, so this section doesn't seem very logical to me.
 * "caused one major political controversy" it isn't obvious why this is controversial; are first ladies not allowed large gifts?
 * "her husband was involved with her niece Mary Scott Dimmick." a bit of a euphemism here; involved how?
 * "In 1896, Benjamin married his late wife's niece Mary Scott Dimmick." This is a) somewhat redundant, and b) if this was the case, then was it true they were having an affair earlier, of which Caroline was suspicious? Or were her suspicions unfounded?
 * "In her role as White House hostess, she is described as unsuccessful, being unable to maintain good relations with Washington society" The legacy section is the first time this possibility is mentioned; reading the rest of the article, I didn't get the impression she had done anything less than normal for a first lady. If detail is available, fleshing this out earlier would be good.

Having read through the article in its entirety, I believe it is in good shape, but not quite at an FAC standard. There's a source that appears underutilized; some gaps in the information, which I've mentioned above; and some places where the prose could be tightened. I've done some copy-editing, but another round may be needed after any expansions are done. Regards, Vanamonde (Talk) 23:58, 7 November 2022 (UTC)


 * Wanted to make sure you had seen this. Vanamonde (Talk) 00:54, 14 November 2022 (UTC)
 * Yes, and I've been working on fixing some of these points. I'm still working on this in theory, but it turns out it's quite difficult to get access to a full length biography of Caroline Harrison, even with Google Books, Wikipedia Library, etc. But anyway, thank you again for taking the time to look through the article. In addition to hopefully continuing on this one, I'm also taking what I've learned here to improve the other first lady articles. Thebiguglyalien (talk) 01:08, 14 November 2022 (UTC)
 * No problem, hope the feedback's useful. Vanamonde (Talk) 01:15, 14 November 2022 (UTC)