Talk:Castles Crumbling/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Pamzeis (talk · contribs) 00:53, 1 September 2023 (UTC)

Hiya, Infsai. I'll be reviewing this article (also side note, this is my fave SNTV vault song). I will try not to screw anything up. Pamzeis (talk) 00:53, 1 September 2023 (UTC)
 * Hey ! Thank you to take your time to look at my article, I'll try to apply your suggestions as swiftly as possible. inf sai  ( talkie?  UwU) 12:47, 1 September 2023 (UTC)
 * ...was the pun intended? Pamzeis (talk) 12:30, 2 September 2023 (UTC)

Prose
More to come... Pamzeis (talk) 06:16, 1 September 2023 (UTC)
 * Written by Swift, who produced the track with Jack Antonoff, it was included — Sounds a bit awkward... can this be reworded?
 * it seems to be influenced by — "seems" seems (pun intended) to be stating stuff in wikivoice. It could be something like or something?
 * it earned comparisons to → (nothing to "earn" here, per se)
 * , due to similar theme, ..., hence its lyrics contrast each other, — are these bits lead-worthy? It seems like too specific detail for the lead to me, and it makes the sentence look a bit loaded with info
 * stop of her the Eras Tour → or
 * rock band Paramore Hayley Williams, have — there's either a missing comma or an extra comma here
 * Up until this point, everything changed - please read the article's lead now, and tell me if it's ok.
 * Both singers always supported each other, and performed "That's What You Get" together during Nashville stop on Speak Now World Tour in 2011.[16][17] In the following years, Williams made a cameo in Swift's "Bad Blood" music video (2015), and her band is a support act during the Eras Tour. — I'm not sure all of this is necessary... can we just say that they have collaborated since X?
 * Multiple sources included these informations, so included them in the article. Especially, since Swift and Williams never collaborated in the official way until "Castles Crumbling", so I think it's fitting to include it here in Background section.
 * Swift used to reference its title — what does "used to" mean here? Did she remove the lyric?
 * drew connections to "Bejeweled" clip (2022) which had →
 * Changed both. I'm gonna apply the following comments after the weekend.
 * Three weeks later, the track had its live performance debut as a piano solo — "live performance debut" sounds a bit awkward, and I'm not sure whether it's necessary to note it was the debut performance. Can we just say something like ?
 * best "surprise song" set of the tour — I think non-Swifties may need an explanation what "surprise songs" are
 * while during the second half of the track two singers are harmonizing with each other — I think there are a few grammatical errors in this bit; Is there any way to reword it?
 * The singer explained in her 2020 documentary Miss Americana that she assumed that she was booed at. — I understand what it means, but it's a bit vague. I think it needs a bit more elaboration on what happened.
 * The chorus sees Swift ensuring someone to not get involved in a relationship with her. — "ensuring" doesn't seem to fit in the context of this sentence?
 * Swift, due to her influence over younger generation, introducing them to country music — is the influence specifically about country music? I think the way this is worded is a bit confusing
 * The pre-chorus sees the artists sing: "Power went to my head and I couldn't stop / Ones I loved tried to help, so I ran them off". — I love that line, but the article doesn't explain it or anything, so it looks a bit out of place
 * on the poll posted by Billboard, it received 16% votes — what poll? Also, is it supposed to be 16% of votes?
 * Different connection to Swift's future projects — I don't understand what this bit is saying. Could you clarify?
 * authors discussed that — I don't think "discussed" is the right word to use here. Could it be substituted with "thought" or something like that?

Second look

 * Swift wrote the track intending to include it in her third studio album, Speak Now (2010), but ultimately left it out of the track-list. She produced the track with Jack Antonoff for the 2023 re-recording of Speak Now, Speak Now (Taylor's Version). of Swift's third studio album Speak Now (2010). — repeats the OG Speak Now and doesn't have the best wording
 * each other, and even performed — "even" is editorialising
 * Following the release of "Castles Crumbling", the media outlets reported that Swift referenced its title in the opening line of "Call It What You Want" from Reputation (2017),[20][21] and drew connections to the "Bejeweled" music video (2022), which had a scene of a breaking down castle during which an orchestral version of Speak Now closer "Long Live" was playing. — I'm not the biggest fan of the way this is worded; it's very long—can it be reworked?
 * The singer explained in her 2020 documentary Miss Americana that she assumed that she was booed at. — it's not really established that there was booing prior so this bit kinda comes outta nowhere
 * the performer thinks that their support — who is "the performer"? Swift?
 * Its lyrics focus on the pressure — the second verse's lyrics or the entirety of the song?
 * The pre-chorus sees the artists sing: "Power went to my head and I couldn't stop / Ones I loved tried to help, so I ran them off". — I don't think this should be included in the article per WP:NOTLYRICS
 * received 16% votes — 16% of votes?
 * Additionally, the 2017 album features similar lyrics — "the 2017 album" is a bit confusing. Is there a reason we can't just say Reputation
 * Another connection to Swift's future projects was made by Mikael Wood from Los Angeles Times, who compared the song's sonicscape to indie folk sound of Folklore and Evermore (both 2020). — the wording her is pretty awkward IMO
 * could be disappointed, due to its "somewhat saccharine tone" and resembling Williams' solo projects. — is this grammatically correct? It feels off to me

I think that's it :) Pamzeis (talk) 06:34, 10 November 2023 (UTC)


 * Phew, thanks for taking a second look! Tbh I trimmed quite aggressively to reduce fancruft-y stuff or info that stray too much into details that are more suitable for a fanwiki rather than Wikipedia. I think the issues raised should be done now :) Ippantekina (talk) 09:22, 10 November 2023 (UTC)
 * Heyyy how does the article look now? Ippantekina (talk) 02:21, 20 November 2023 (UTC)
 * Apologies for the wait. Will take another look by Thursday. Pamzeis (talk) 11:03, 21 November 2023 (UTC)

Third look
Sorry for the long wait, but after almost three months, I think this is a :) Pamzeis (talk) 08:25, 22 November 2023 (UTC)