Talk:Catallena/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Kyle Peake (talk · contribs) 20:43, 25 July 2020 (UTC)

Reunited after I reviewed your article "Lights" earlier this summer; will do this one tomorrow. --Kyle Peake (talk) 20:43, 25 July 2020 (UTC)
 * Thank you so much for taking up this review! Awaiting your comments! -- Ashley  yoursmile!  07:53, 26 July 2020 (UTC)

Infobox and lead
✅ everything above
 * Recording date is unsourced
 * Maybe the b-sides should be mentioned in the infobox?
 * Should the Korean title be in bold?
 * "is a song recorded by" → "is a song by"
 * "was written and produced by the group's long-time collaborators, Igy and Seo Yong-bae." → "was written and produced by both Igy and Seo Yong-bae." since introduction is not needed here when it's done in the body
 * "as the third Korean-language single (sixth overall)" → "as the group's third Korean-language single and their sixth overall"
 * Shouldn't you mention that was digital download and streaming since there was more than one and this is the first?
 * "Musically, "Catallena" is a hybrid" → "Musically, the song is a hybrid"
 * Target interpolates to Interpolation (popular music)
 * ""Jutti Meri" in its chorus." → ""Jutti Meri" in the chorus."
 * "find the group being" → "find Orange Caramel being"
 * "South Korea – the digital version peaked" → "South Korea, with the digital version peaking"
 * "It has sold over" → "The digital version has sold over"
 * "in South Korea as of" → "in the country, as of"
 * "on the US World Digital Song Sales chart." → "on the US World Digital Songs chart." with the appropriate target, since that is the true name
 * Mention the release date of the music video
 * "The visuals were hailed..." there aren't enough sources to back up this claim
 * "Orange Caramel performed the song" → "Orange Caramel performed "Catallena""
 * "several South Korean music programs," → "several South Korean music programs in 2014,"

Background and release

 * Remove the wikilink on Orange Caramel and introduction of who they are, since the lead told us enough about that
 * Target singles to Single (music)
 * "the trio is well-known for its" → "the trio are well known for their"
 * "In late 2013, the group's label," → "In late 2013, the group's record label,"
 * "announced that Orange Caramel was preparing" → "announced that Orange Caramel were preparing"
 * "On 18 February, the group" → "On 18 February of that year, the group"
 * "third single titled "Catallena"." → "third single, titled "Catallena"."
 * Maybe you should mention around this point it was their sixth single?
 * ❌ Any idea how to do that? A separate sentence seems a bit excessive here
 * I meant as in around this point of the para since anything written in the lead should be sourced in the body; maybe start the sentence with "However," --K. Peake 13:57, 26 July 2020 (UTC)
 * ✅ -- Ashley yoursmile!  16:23, 26 July 2020 (UTC)

✅ everything else except the one marked not done
 * "wearing polka-dot styled" → "with her wearing a polka-dot styled"
 * "another teaser, released two days later, which was based" → "another teaser that was released two days later, being based"
 * "then upcoming music video." → "then-upcoming music video." with the appropriate wikilink
 * "On 26 February, the release" → "On 26 February 2014, the release"
 * "by Pledis Entertainment and" → "through Pledis Entertainment and" to avoid repetitive wording with the lead
 * "The physical CD single was released" → "The physical CD single for the song was released"
 * "collaborators Igy and Seo Yongbae," → "collaborators Igy and Seo Yong-bae,"
 * "with both of them handling production." → "with the collaborators also handling production."

Music and lyrics

 * Audio sample text looks good
 * "mixes contemporary pop music with" → "mixes contemporary pop with" with the target
 * "beats per minute and runs for three minutes and thirteen seconds." → "beats per minute, and runs for 3:13."
 * Target sample to Sampling (music)
 * Add release year of the song in brackets
 * ❌ It isn't available

✅ everything else
 * "which is used in its" → "which is used in the"
 * Use [15] instead of [4] since the latter is useless here
 * Remove wikilinks on instrumented and guitar
 * "English rock band, New Order's song," → "English rock band New Order's song"
 * "It also utilizes" → ""Catallena" also utilizes"
 * "folk samples and" → "folk samples, and"
 * Wikilink should be the overtone part of the word instead
 * "Throughout the song, the group sings" → "Throughout the song, Orange Caramel sing"
 * "melodious coos" doesn't appear to be backed up
 * "of Swedish group ABBA." → "of Swedish supergroup ABBA." with the target
 * "During the song's lyrics, the group" → "In the song's lyrics, the group"
 * "singing "She’s so great, I’ve" → "singing, "She's so great, I've"
 * "Critics associated the lyrics" → "Music journalists associated the lyrics"

Reception

 * "received generally favourable reviews from music critics." → "was met with generally favourable reviews from music critics."
 * "labelling it as "clever", which he said" → "which he labelled as "clever" and said"
 * "He further deemed the group's" → "Dorof further deemed Orange Caramel's"
 * "Dorof also wrote an article for Pitchfork in" → "He also wrote an article for Pitchfork, in"
 * "in its production." → "in the production."
 * "Writing for PopMatters, Scott Interannte" → "In PopMatters, Scott Interannte" to avoid repetitive wording
 * Wikilink K-pop to itself
 * "Kim Do-heon, from South Korean online magazine IZM, gave" → "Kim Do-heon from IZM gave"
 * "Benjamin and Jessica Oak included it" → "Jessica Oak and Bejamin listed the track" since elsewise it sounds like they are relatives
 * "best 20 songs of 2014" → "best 20 songs of 2014 for Billboard"
 * "track of the year" but also" → "track of the year," but also"
 * "Billboard ranked the single" → "The magazine ranked the track"
 * "of 100 best K-pop songs of 2010." → "of the 100 best K-pop songs of the 2010s decade."
 * "The single debuted and peaked" → "The song debuted and peaked"
 * "on the chart issue dated" → "for the chart issue dated"
 * "The song maintained its position" → "It maintained the position"
 * Remove the number 19 position but keep the four weeks stat per WP:CHARTS
 * "of March 2014." → "of March 2014 on the Digital Chart."
 * "Meanwhile, the physical single album peaked" → "Meanwhile, the physical single edition peaked"
 * "the 33rd best-selling single of 2014." → "the 33rd best-selling single of 2014 for the Digital Chart."
 * ❌ It was not the 33rd best-selling single on the Digital Chart but 38th as the immediate next line states
 * Sorry that was my bad, add "in the country" after "of 2014" instead then. --K. Peake 13:57, 26 July 2020 (UTC)
 * ✅-- Ashley yoursmile!  16:23, 26 July 2020 (UTC)

✅ everything else
 * "Gaon Digital Chart of 2014," → "Gaon Digital Chart for 2014,"

Background and release
✅ All
 * Sure this shouldn't be retitled to Background?
 * Remove wikilink on music video
 * "official YouTube channel on 12 March 2014," → "YouTube channel on 12 March 2014,"
 * "the same platform on 7 March." → "the same platform five days prior."
 * "The visual was directed by" → "The video was directed by"
 * They are a company, not duo
 * "with several artists including" → "with several Korean artists, including"
 * "Arrici was credited as the" → "Arrici was credited as"
 * "and "bizarre" and depicts" → "and "bizarre," with it depicting"

Synopsis and reception

 * "The video opens with a close-up of each members," → "The music video opens with a close-up of each member,"
 * "the group is seen dancing" → "the group are seen dancing"
 * "against pastel-coloured backdrop." → "against a pastel-coloured backdrop."
 * "mermaid costumes as they are packaged" → "mermaid costumes, following them being packaged"
 * "they get enticed by a" → "they are enticed by a"
 * "octopus character "Catallena"," → "octopus character known as "Catallena","
 * Wikilink cross-dressing to itself
 * "In addition, the video features cameo" → "In addition to the character, the video features a cameo"
 * "from another comedian" → "from fellow comedian"
 * "with the group coming to restaurant only to eat" → "with Orange Caramel coming to a restaurant, though they end up eating"
 * Mention that was while they were crying
 * I'm confused, why is the director referred as he; I though it was a duo and if one member in this context, do you know who particularly?
 * Not sure, the source doesn't mention anyone specific I did some googling in the meantime and came across this link which apparently indicates both of them came up with the idea. Also, this is the entire interview, so could more things be quoted from it? -- Ashley yoursmile!  13:18, 26 July 2020 (UTC)
 * Yes it should be used and that is a great find, but make sure you keep the other ref if anything written out from that isn't included in the new one. --K. Peake 13:57, 26 July 2020 (UTC)
 * ✅ -- Ashley yoursmile!  16:23, 26 July 2020 (UTC)

✅ All
 * "Scott Interrante of PopMatters opined that" → "Interrante opined that"
 * "and "quirky" and wrote that" → "and "quirky," writing that"
 * "Taylor Glasby from Dazed labelled" → "Glasby labelled"
 * "trick" writing, " Not" → "trick," writing, "Not"
 * "The video was an instant" → "The music video was an instant"
 * "it garnered over" → "it had garnered over"
 * "from airing, for portraying humans" → "from airing due to it portraying humans"
 * "claiming that it" → "complaining that it"

Promotion and live performances
✅
 * Retitle to Promotion
 * "Prior to the release, Orange Caramel" → "Prior to release, Orange Caramel"
 * "the making of jacket album photos" → "the making of jacket album photos for the group"
 * "of "Catallena" on" → "of "Catallena" for"
 * "on a weekly basis." → "on a weekly basis to perform it."
 * "performed the song on" → "performed the song during"

Track listing

 * Good

Credits and personnel
✅
 * Remove the members from being listed out separately under vocals, since not only does the source not mention them all individually but mentioning the group only is fine

Charts and sales

 * Retitle to Charts, as I will explain below

Weekly charts

 * See MOS:TABLECAPTION, add something like: Chart performance for "Catallena"
 * South Korea (Billboard K-pop Hot 100) → South Korea (K-pop Hot 100)
 * U.S. World Digital Songs (Billboard) → US World Digital Songs (Billboard)

Monthly charts

 * See MOS:TABLECAPTION; probably mention these are for March 2014?

Year-end charts

 * Ditto but mention it is year-end for 2014

Sales
✅ All
 * Remove this since it is written out in prose and not a certification anyway so should not have a table

Release history

 * See MOS:TABLECAPTION
 * Label → Label(s)

✅ All

Final comments and verdict

 * for now, though be aware that I might have more comments after you respond to the suggested changes. --Kyle Peake (talk) 08:43, 26 July 2020 (UTC)
 * Kyle Peake, Thank you for your review. I have mostly addressed everything, and have left a few comments for the rest. -- Ashley  yoursmile!  10:58, 26 July 2020 (UTC)
 * Great response time, but I have comments in response to a number of your queries. --K. Peake 13:57, 26 July 2020 (UTC)
 * Kyle Peake, I have implemented the changes suggested by you. Let me know if anything else needs to be done. Thanks again for your time. -- Ashley yoursmile!  16:23, 26 July 2020 (UTC)
 * Did some brief copy editing but I am now ready to ✅ the article, sorry for not replying earlier I was busy with family. --K. Peake 17:28, 26 July 2020 (UTC)