Talk:Cathode-ray tube amusement device/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Indrian (talk · contribs) 16:28, 23 January 2016 (UTC)

Okay, since no one is taking this one up, I will go ahead and review, as its the only one of PresN's excellent early video game articles still waiting for that GA tag. Comments to follow shortly. Indrian (talk) 16:28, 23 January 2016 (UTC)

Infobox

 * So about the name. Cathode ray tube used to be a hyphenate, so the original patent calls it the cathode-ray tube amusement device.  It looks like most sources today drop the hyphen, though some keep it.  I don't know that its worth sweating a hyphen, but should the original styling appear somewhere in the article?  I don't know that our policies really speak to this, so I don't have a strong opinion either way.
 * Okay, I've been thinking about it for a couple days, and I've adjusted all the text to have the hyphen. Even if we don't use the hyphen nowadays (and many of the sources don't), the original patent had one and I think we should call it what it was actually called, not how we would spell it today. I'm going to hold off on moving the article itself until the review is finished, though, to avoid complications with this subpage moving. -- Pres N  17:18, 26 January 2016 (UTC)


 * "Patented 1947–1948" - I realize this is attempting to convey in shorthand that the patent was filed in 1947 and issued in 1948, but the term "patented" refers only to when the patent was actually issued, so this use of the term is incorrect and misleading.
 * Dropped, the infobox doesn't handle single dates right, only time periods. -- Pres N  17:18, 26 January 2016 (UTC)

Lead

 * "The cathode ray tube amusement device is the earliest known interactive electronic game to use an electronic display" - Is this a little redundant? I believe the CRT amusement device is the earliest electronic game period, which automatically makes it the first to use an electronic display.
 * There were electric pinball games in the 30s; the CRTAD's claim to fame is only that it had an electronic display instead of just physical interactions. It's a little hazy what the minimum definition of "electronic" is in regards to the pinball games, but while the about.com source calls the CRTAD the first electronic game patent, I'm hesitant to therefore declare it as such, rather than the more limited "first electronic game with an electronic display". If "electronic" means vacuum tubes, then maybe? But the earlier pinball games used electricity to run lights and solenoids. -- Pres N  17:26, 26 January 2016 (UTC)
 * Well, I contradict myself, don't I- the law journal source also says it's the first patent for an electronic game, and I state that outright. Okay, changed it to "first electronic game" everywhere, I'll need to adjust that in other articles later. -- Pres N  17:28, 26 January 2016 (UTC)


 * "The player simulates an artillery shell arcing towards targets" - The system simulates the artillery shell, the player controls it. Needs to be changed to one or the other.
 * Fixed. -- Pres N  17:18, 26 January 2016 (UTC)


 * "adjusting knobs to control the trajectory of a CRT" - The abbreviation CRT has yet to be defined in the article at this point.
 * Fixed. -- Pres N  17:18, 26 January 2016 (UTC)

Gameplay

 * "The cathode ray tube amusement device appears to the player as a cathode ray tube (CRT) connected to an oscilloscope, with a set of knobs and switches" - The term "appears as" generally means that something looks one way when it is actually something else. Also, including "the player" here is somewhat awkward.  Perhaps "The cathode ray tube amusement device consists of"?
 * Fixed. -- Pres N  17:18, 26 January 2016 (UTC)


 * "does not use any memory device, digital computer, or programming" - Mixed list since the first two are objects and the third is not. Perhaps "does not use any digital computer or memory device or execute a program"?
 * Done. -- Pres N  17:18, 26 January 2016 (UTC)


 * "are transparent plastic targets" - The lead says they are paper targets. Needs to be reconciled.
 * Whoops, updated the body when I read that source but not the lead. Fixed. -- Pres N  17:18, 26 January 2016 (UTC)


 * "At the end of the spot's trajectory, the beam defocuses if it is within the bounds of a target, resulting in the spot expanding and blurring" - The beam always defocuses right?  The goal is to arrive at the target just as the beam defocuses to score a hit.
 * Oof. Fixed; split it into two sentences- what happens and what the goal is. -- Pres N  17:18, 26 January 2016 (UTC)

History

 * "as it used purely analog hardware rather than running on a computing device" - There are such things as analog computers, so "analog hardware" and "computing device" are not mutually exclusive terms.
 * Now 'and' instead of 'rather than'. -- Pres N  17:18, 26 January 2016 (UTC)

A few more concerns than the last couple of articles, but still nothing that cannot be remedied in short order. Therefore, I will place this review until changes are made. Indrian (talk) 17:15, 23 January 2016 (UTC)
 * Not as good as some of the other articles, but fixed up now. I've responded inline to all your concerns. -- Pres N  17:18, 26 January 2016 (UTC)
 * Everything looks good now. Thanks for bringing so many early video game articles to GA status!  Indrian (talk) 18:39, 26 January 2016 (UTC)
 * Oh, by the way, I promoted, but I am going to wait to add it to the list on the GA page until after the move. Indrian (talk) 18:51, 26 January 2016 (UTC)
 * Now done. -- Pres N  18:58, 26 January 2016 (UTC)