Talk:Champion (Kanye West song)/GA1

GA Review
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Nominator: 13:36, 15 April 2024 (UTC)

Reviewer: BennyOnTheLoose (talk · contribs) 22:04, 22 June 2024 (UTC)

Captions
 * Maybe "West received permission to sample 'Kid Charlemagne' after writing to Steely Dan, pictured in 2007." (or .."writing a letter to"...)?
 * I think "Several reviewers complimented West's rapping skills, a few of whom placed emphasis on his lyricism." could be improved; to me, "several" and "a few" are pretty much equivalent. Maybe something like "with some highlighting" rather than "a few of whom placed emphasis on"?
 * I have implemented the above changes now! --K. Peake 16:57, 23 June 2024 (UTC)

Copyvio check
 * Only one match over 10% found using Earwig's Copyvio Detector - and that is a couple of attributed quotes. No issues found during spot checks.

Background
 * Probably my ignorance, but with "the track for "Champion" was first made by producer Brian "AllDay" Miller", doe this mean that Miller wrote the music (before West added lyrics)
 * ✅ this was production --K. Peake 06:40, 26 June 2024 (UTC)


 * Spot check on "In a 2008 Spin cover story," - no issues (the 2017 article does mention the earlier 2008 article)
 * Spot check on "Kanye acknowledged his imperfect relationship with his father Ray West and that "something came out" of him when writing the song for the subject" - no issues
 * Spot check on "Consequence declared the lyrics were his "brain thought" and mentioned that he did not receive credit for various tracks, despite being credited on West's albums such as The College Dropout (2004) and 808s & Heartbreak (2008)" - no issues

Composition and lyrics
 * "It runs for under three minutes," is redundant, but could be retained if you think the point is important.
 * ✅ --K. Peake 06:40, 26 June 2024 (UTC)


 * Spot check on "During the first verse, Kanye expresses pride that while his father was a capable entrepreneur to find a new scheme each summer, he was also able to buy him new clothes each school year." - no issues.
 * Spot check on "Kanye West also mentions how fellow rapper Lauryn Hill became focused on Zion, wishing that she was still dedicated to music" - no issues.

Release and promotion
 * Spot check on "incorporated Olympic imagery, which had also been done in 2008 by US presidential nominees Barack Obama and John McCain in their campaigns" - no issues.

Live performances and other versions
 * Spot check on " The concert was set on a moonlit stage resembling a planet that was covered with smoke, where West wore jeans, a loose sweater, strengthened shoulder pads, and a red waist windbreaker. West began by introducing himself as a space traveler who had landed a planet missing creativity and he later performed the song after his talking computer Jane introduced him: "Remember, this isn't your first crash."" - no issues.

Lead
 * "Band members Donald Fagen and Walter Becker" - is it worth changing that to "Steely Dan members..." in case readers think it refers to a band of West's?
 * ✅ this was changed to "the band" like the previous sentence --K. Peake 06:40, 26 June 2024 (UTC)


 * Could probably lose " while West briefly considered issuing it as a single", but fine if you prefer to keep it.
 * I'd say this is notable for an album track. --K. Peake 06:40, 26 June 2024 (UTC)


 * "Some praised Kanye West's rapping skills, while a few critics commended the production." - "a few critics" makes it sound like the minority; is it better reworded to something like "highlighted the production"?
 * "an event based on the Olympic Games at Adolfo Camarillo High School." - maybe "an event at Adolfo Camarillo High School based on the Olympic Games."?
 * ✅ for the above --K. Peake 07:36, 26 June 2024 (UTC)


 * "in September 2007, while he performed it on the US leg of his Glow in the Dark Tour the next year." - I think the "while" could be replaced here, given the dates.
 * I have re arranged the sentence now, is this suitable or are you looking for a different change since I'm not too sure what you meant here? --K. Peake 07:36, 26 June 2024 (UTC)
 * That's fine; I just think that sometimes "while" implies "at the same time as". BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 22:29, 26 June 2024 (UTC)
 * Thanks a lot for this review, I have covered everything with periodic responses since I was on the train to work. --K. Peake 07:51, 26 June 2024 (UTC)