Talk:Charles H. Constable/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Khazar2 (talk · contribs) 19:27, 4 January 2013 (UTC)

I'll be happy to do this review. I'll begin with a close readthrough of the article, noting any initial issues I can't fix myself here, and then move to the criteria checklist. Thanks in advance for your work on this one! -- Khazar2 (talk) 19:27, 4 January 2013 (UTC)

Initial readthrough
This looks fairly solid overall--readable and interesting, with a few citations and clarifications needed (below). Apologies in advance if some of this is rather picky!

*"This anger was unfounded" -- this seems like editorializing; I would just say "Constable argued that legal precedent supported his decision ..." *"was elected vice president of an organization that opposed Lincoln during a rally of more than 40,000 people" -- this seems a bit ambiguous--did the organization oppose Lincoln during a rally? Or was CHC elected during the rally? What was the purpose of this rally? *"that they had no right to arrest the deserters in the sovereign state of Illinois" -- ambiguous pronoun --who is "they" here? * "under threat of violence" -- the placement of this modifier invites the presumable misreading that the Union soldiers were under threat of violence.
 * Changed.
 * "Constable and his wife were described as good and honest people" --by who? If the only source is their nephew's diaries, this should be clearly indicated in the text.
 * Changed.
 * "Because of this donation, many scholars and historians were able to study these papers." -- needs citation
 * Changed. Added References.
 * "During this time, he and his family became close to Abraham Lincoln and his family." -- needs citation
 * Changed. Added Reference and reworded.
 * "judges in Coles County ruled against Lincoln" -- what court was this case tried in? I'm surprised there were multiple judges
 * Changed. Deleted plural ending.
 * "Constable was not selected for a judgeship; however, around 1853, he moved with his family to Marshall, Illinois, where he became a circuit judge and notable jurist." -- so how did he get a judgeship without being selected for a judgeship? Also, "notable jurist" seems like peacocking per WP:PEA; I would suggest either clearly attributing this to a secondary source, or just removing the phrase.
 * Changed. Added reference, reworded, and added additional information.
 * Don't repeat links more than once after the lead section, per WP:REPEATLINK. (Note that this isn't a GA criteria, so you don't have to do this now--just letting you know.)
 * Changed. Did the changes address your concerns?
 * "Mr. Constable, I understand you perfectly, and have noticed for some time that you have been slowly and cautiously picking your way over to the Democratic party." -- this needs a citation immediately following the quotation (I assume it's from the McKirdy?)
 * Changed. Added reference.
 * Changed. Clarified information.
 * This could still use clarification for me--I didn't explain my concern well above. The problem is with the placement of the modifier "during a rally of..."; it's not clear if this is modifying "opposed Lincoln" or "organization that opposed Lincoln", if that makes sense. Perhaps it could be moved to the start of the sentence: "During a rally of more than 40,000 people in Springfield, Illinois, Constable was elected to a leadership position of an organization setup to oppose the polices of Lincoln." Would that capture the meaning correctly? -- Khazar2 (talk) 12:38, 5 January 2013 (UTC)
 * Changed. Sorry about the confusion.
 * Changed.
 * "by appearing during the court sessions" -- the plural confuses me here-- did the Col. come during multiple sessions, or should this just be "a court session"?
 * Changed.
 * "the excessive troops" -- "excessive" is editorializing a bit--can another phrase be found? (or how about just "the troops"?)
 * Changed. Deleted excessive.
 * "Constable's arrest resulted in widespread condemnation " -- perhaps add "of his actions"? I assume the sense here is that it's Constable who was widely condemned, not his arrest.
 * Changed. Clarified and added additional information.
 * "his rescue of the Union soldiers who had been arrested for kidnapping the deserters" -- this is the first mention that the Union soldiers were arrested. Did Constable order their arrest?
 * Changed.
 * "and eventually led to his trial" -- is it possible to add an approx date of this trial?
 * Changed. Added trial date.
 * " The case is still noted by legal scholars and historians" -- for what reason?
 * Changed.
 * Changed. Rearranged wording.
 * "The opinion of Hinde supporting his uncle Constable has legal merit" --this should be prefaced with something like "According to X," or "Legal scholar Janet Z argues that..."
 * Changed.

-- Khazar2 (talk) 20:07, 4 January 2013 (UTC)

*I think there's a typo with the math in this section--would you check the dates (1861 -13 = 1858)? "In 1858, Constable ran in a special election to fill a vacant seat of the Illinois Supreme Court, but was defeated by Pinckney H. Walker by a vote margin of 229 votes to 95.[16] Thirteen years later Constable ran again and was elected as a state circuit court judge of the Illinois 4th circuit in 1861." -- Khazar2 (talk) 12:34, 5 January 2013 (UTC)
 * Changed.


 * Okay, I think that does it. The last thing I want you to look at is a change I just made to put this section in chronological order . If that looks right to you, I'm ready to sign off. Thanks for your quick responses to the points above. -- Khazar2 (talk) 16:42, 5 January 2013 (UTC)
 * That looks much better, thanks.