Talk:Cherry (American wrestler)/GA1

GA Review
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 * GA review (see here for criteria)

This is a nice piece of work, I just picked up a few things. "Drew used the ring name Cherry Pie" - redundant to the end of the previous para, consolidate the two together "manager of the tag team The Throw-Backs (Deuce Shade and Domino Dice), her storyline brother," - which one was her storyline brother? Needs clarifying "the team went an image change" - "went" should be "underwent", surely? " including changing their name to "The Untouchables" and dropping the "Pie" part of her ring name to become known as "Cherry" - this isn't really grammatically correct. I suggest losing "including", adding a full stop after "Untouchables" and then starting a new sentence with something like "Drew also dropped....." "In their first match with WWE.....the team underwent a name change" - I presume they didn't literally change their name during the match, so maybe replace "In" with "For" " following a distraction from McCool on the April 18 episode of SmackDown" - needs a comma after McCool "in a WWE.com exclusive video, she was dumped by Deuce and Domino for Maryse when they " - sentence starts with a small letter.
 * 1) It is reasonably well written.
 * a (prose): b (MoS):
 * "she was the manager of the group, The Throw-Backs, later called The Untouchables, with Deuce Shade and Dice Domino." - wording suggests that the latter pair were co-managers with her, suggest "with" be changed to something like "consisting of"
 * Done. Though, I'm having a hard time coming up with something for the storyline brother sentence. Do you have a suggestion you can throw at me? -- ThinkBlue   (Hit   BLUE)  17:05, 8 September 2009 (UTC)
 * How about "the tag team The Throw-Backs, comprising Deuce Shade and Domino Dice, the former/latter (delete as appropriate, I don't know which it is) of whom was her storyline brother" -- ChrisTheDude (talk) 20:07, 8 September 2009 (UTC)
 * I've also just noticed that here he is called Domino Dice, whereas in the lead he is called Dice Domino - which is correct? -- ChrisTheDude (talk) 20:09, 8 September 2009 (UTC)
 * Oops, I missed that. Its "Dice Domino". Also, I think I got it. -- ThinkBlue   (Hit   BLUE)  21:13, 8 September 2009 (UTC)
 * 1) It is factually accurate and verifiable.
 * a (references): b (citations to reliable sources):  c (OR):
 * 1) It is broad in its coverage.
 * a (major aspects): b (focused):
 * Is anything known about her life outside the ring? Family, relationships, business interests, that sort of thing?
 * No, unfortunately. I had no luck finding information anything regarding her early life. -- ThinkBlue   (Hit   BLUE)  17:05, 8 September 2009 (UTC)
 * 1) It follows the neutral point of view policy.
 * Fair representation without bias:
 * 1) It is stable.
 * No edit wars, etc.:
 * 1) It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
 * a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail:
 * Good luck improving the article -- ChrisTheDude (talk) 12:28, 8 September 2009 (UTC)
 * Thanks for the review. -- ThinkBlue   (Hit   BLUE)  17:05, 8 September 2009 (UTC)
 * Something seems a bit screwy with the bullet points in the "wrestlers managed" section. If you can fix that, I'll pass the article -- ChrisTheDude (talk) 10:37, 9 September 2009 (UTC)
 * Fixed, I think. ♥ Nici ♥ Vampire ♥ Heart ♥ 16:21, 9 September 2009 (UTC)
 * Cool, I'm going to pass it now. Well done -- ChrisTheDude (talk) 15:16, 10 September 2009 (UTC)
 * Thanks for the review. -- ThinkBlue   (Hit   BLUE)  17:05, 8 September 2009 (UTC)
 * Something seems a bit screwy with the bullet points in the "wrestlers managed" section. If you can fix that, I'll pass the article -- ChrisTheDude (talk) 10:37, 9 September 2009 (UTC)
 * Fixed, I think. ♥ Nici ♥ Vampire ♥ Heart ♥ 16:21, 9 September 2009 (UTC)
 * Cool, I'm going to pass it now. Well done -- ChrisTheDude (talk) 15:16, 10 September 2009 (UTC)