Talk:Christening (The Office)/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Ajmint (talk · contribs) 17:16, 21 September 2013 (UTC)

I will review this. ajmint (talk•edits) 17:16, 21 September 2013 (UTC)


 * GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)


 * 1) It is reasonably well written.
 * a (prose, no copyvios, spelling and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
 * See prose comments below.
 * 1) It is factually accurate and verifiable.
 * a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources):  c (OR):
 * 1) It is broad in its coverage.
 * a (major aspects): b (focused):
 * 1) It follows the neutral point of view policy.
 * Fair representation without bias:
 * 1) It is stable.
 * No edit wars, etc.:
 * There seems to have been a little dispute over the phrasing of "mixed reviews", but I think that's over.
 * 1) It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
 * a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail:
 * a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail:
 * Pass/Fail:


 * Lead
 * "Cece" is used, while the rest of the article has "CeCe"
 * "gets christened" -> "is christened" is more formal
 * Link christened to Infant baptism?
 * Link high school?
 * "as such" can be dropped
 * "viewed by 7.65 million viewers" -> change to "seen" or "watched" to avoid repetition


 * Plot
 * "the entire office" -> "everyone in the office"? He obviously didn't invite the building, but this sounds a bit weird + variety from lead
 * "in the back of his car" -- is the car just Jim's, or Jim and Pam's?
 * "keep an eye on her" -> "watch over her"
 * "Cece" again
 * "had her" -> "had CeCe"
 * The sentence beginning "Michael is inspired" is too long and should be split
 * "Office staff" should not be capitalised
 * "every one of them" -> "all of them"
 * "hopping on the bus" -> "getting on the bus"
 * There is a stray ) after "Erin Hannon"; I assume this should be "(Ellie Kemper)"
 * Link crucifix


 * Production
 * "With the seventh season of The Office being Carell's last," -- would reword this to get rid of "with ...ing": "The seventh season of The Office was Carell's last, so..."
 * should "Season Seven" be capitalised?
 * "showing up" -> "coming"


 * Cultural references
 * "Kelly pulls" is too informal
 * "Jim wraps CeCe in an Arcade Fire shirt. Arcade Fire is a Canadian indie rock band." - These sentences could be merged


 * Reception
 * "3.8 rating/10 percent"; correct me if I'm wrong, but should this not be "3.8/10 percent rating"?
 * "calling it among the worst episodes" -> "calling it one of the worst" or "ranking it among the worst"
 * "portrayed Michael is a way that showed him as" -> "portrayed Michael as"
 * The comma after normal is not a typographical error (the original article has "a flawed, yet normal, man." – the "yet" clause is set out with two commas) so [sic] should not be used. I would just include the full quotation: 'portrayed Michael as "a flawed, yet normal, man."'
 * comma after "Scott's Tots"
 * comma after "Michael's maturity in the episode"
 * "taking it serious" -> "taking it seriously"
 * comma before "he complimented Lieberstein's performance"
 * hyphenate "sixth season" before "clip show"
 * 'blamed it on the writers, who she said "have'
 * missing ] after "[Pam and Jim"


 * References
 * 1: "Shows" not "Showz", space missing before "Office"
 * 4&5: links no longer go to videos, need titles formatting properly
 * (8: Link the whole of "NBC.com")
 * (9: Correct curly quotes)
 * (17: Remove "at IGN", add IGN as work)


 * I am putting this nomination on hold until these problems can be fixed. ajmint  (talk•edits) 22:26, 22 September 2013 (UTC)
 * I believe I have corrected all of the issues. How does it look now?-- Gen. Quon   (Talk)   22:46, 22 September 2013 (UTC)
 * Just a couple more things: ajmint  (talk•edits) 22:58, 22 September 2013 (UTC)
 * Take out the comma before "dealt with Pam and Jim"
 * "all the members of the office"
 * How does it look now?-- Gen. Quon   (Talk)   03:14, 23 September 2013 (UTC)
 * Pass. Well done! ajmint  (talk•edits) 07:15, 23 September 2013 (UTC)