Talk:Christopher Walking/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: K. Peake (talk · contribs) 21:25, 19 February 2021 (UTC)

I will review this tomorrow; it is night time here in the UK. --K. Peake 21:25, 19 February 2021 (UTC)

Infobox and lead

 * Remove rap from the infobox, as that is not a specific genre like drill, hip hop, trap, etc. – but you can keep it in prose
 * You forgot to mention in the opening sentence that it is from his second mixtape, Meet the Woo 2 (2020).
 * "808Melo and WondaGurl handled" → "The first two of the four, known as CashMoneyAP and WondaGurl, handled" since 808Melo is not listed as a producer in the personnel or by the source
 * Remove rap genre per my comment about the source in the body
 * A full stop is needed at the end of the first para's last sentence
 * "It samples the lyrics of" → "The song interpolates the lyrics of" with the target
 * Remove the release year of the song, as that is not notable for the lead per previous discussion
 * "was released the same day and" → "was released the same day as the single release, which"
 * "meeting fans as and historical African American figures." → "meeting fans, and footage of historical Black American figures."

Background and release

 * Merge with the below section and retitle to Background and composition
 * "before its release." → "before its January 16, 2020 release." because the date is not mentioned until a good number of sentences later
 * "Scary L' → "Scary L"
 * "808Melo and WondaGurl handled" → "The first two of the four, who have the stage names of CashMoneyAP and WondaGurl, handled" for accuracy
 * Target programmer to Programming (music)
 * "recording while Jess Jackson mixed the song." → "recording,, while Jess Jackson mixed it."
 * The source does reference the release, but offers no mention of it being for digital download and streaming so remove those parts
 * "on Pop Smoke's second studio mixtape Meet the Woo 2." → "from Meet the Woo 2."

Music and lyrics

 * This should be the second para of the proposed merger
 * ""Christopher Walking" is a" → "Musically, "Christopher Walking" is a"
 * Remove rap genre because only one source calls the song "drill rap", which is another way of referring to drill as a rap subgenre
 * Swap the second and third sentences of this para because the third should come before the 50 Cent lyrics, as it is about the meaning of the song
 * "The song prominently samples the lyrics of" → "It prominently interpolates the lyrics of" with the target, per both sources calling this an interpolation
 * Target single to Single (music)
 * "from the 1990" → "in the 1990"
 * "throughout the streets and mentions" → "throughout the streets, and mentions"
 * "with someone: "Tie that boy up like a cowboy."" → "with someone, declaring he wants to "tie that boy up like a cowboy"." per MOS:QUOTE

Critical reception

 * Target music critics to Music journalism
 * A lot of MOS:QUOTE issues within this section
 * Wikilink Brooklyn drill
 * "Tom Breihan that "Christopher Walking" had" → "Tom Breihan opined that "Christopher Walking" has"
 * "mentioning that it had" → "mentioning that it possesses"
 * "as his voice." And that it sounds" → "as his voice", which sounds"
 * "He concludes by saying" → "Breihan concluded by saying"

Music video

 * "as he passes by them" → "while passing by them" but HB offers a mention of him showing off his attire that has not been included
 * "shows archive footage" → "shows intertwined archive footage"
 * Target Black Panther to Black Panther party
 * Fix MOS:QUOTE issues with the three reception sentences

Credits and personnel

 * Good

Final comments and verdict

 * until all of the issues are fixed; crazy to think this was up for AFD just a week ago and you were considering quitting Wiki! --K. Peake 09:00, 20 February 2021 (UTC)
 * Thanks for the review Kyle Peake. I have addressed all of your concerns. It's 3 am from where I am in the US and I'm hella tired. And to be honest, I am quitting Wikipedia as soon I as start college in August 2021. The Ultimate Boss (talk) 09:38, 20 February 2021 (UTC)
 * Nice job, you only missed one change besides running the tool that was very minor anyway so I added it in for you. There were also a few errors made that weren't missed changes, so I fixed those for you accordingly. ✅ now and it will be a shame to see you retire from Wikipedia soon, but we still have FB to keep in contact! --K. Peake 11:14, 20 February 2021 (UTC)