Talk:Classy Christmas/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Hmlarson (talk · contribs) 02:48, 30 December 2013 (UTC)

Hello, I have begun the review and will be posting feedback below. As issues are addressed, please add a note indicating your changes to the relevant item listed below. Thank you. Hmlarson (talk) 02:48, 30 December 2013 (UTC)
 * Thanks for jumping on this one after the other one stalled.-- Gen. Quon   (Talk)   03:59, 30 December 2013 (UTC)

Lead

 * "The scenes that were filmed outdoors had to be crafted to look as if it were cold; in reality, temperatures reached into 90 degrees Fahrenheit, and above." Where was it shot?
 * Done.-- Gen. Quon   (Talk)   03:59, 30 December 2013 (UTC)


 * "Despite this, the episode was the highest-rated NBC series of the night that it aired" --> change to "on the night that it aired"
 * Done.-- Gen. Quon   (Talk)   03:59, 30 December 2013 (UTC)

Plot

 * "leaving corporate to send" ---> consider changing corporate to "the corporate office"
 * Done.-- Gen. Quon   (Talk)   03:59, 30 December 2013 (UTC)


 * "either proposes to her" ---> remove s from propose
 * Done.-- Gen. Quon   (Talk)   03:59, 30 December 2013 (UTC)


 * "talking about her dirty toy" ---> change to "her damaged gift"
 * Done.-- Gen. Quon   (Talk)   03:59, 30 December 2013 (UTC)


 * "At the party, Jada begins to lose interest, but Pam and Andy Bernard (Ed Helms) try to find fun activities for her, but Andy ends up ruining most of them." ---> change last part of sentence to "try to find fun activities for her; however, Andy ends up ruining most of them."
 * Done.-- Gen. Quon   (Talk)   03:59, 30 December 2013 (UTC)


 * "Pam says that her husband Jim Halpert (John Krasinski) always gets her great Christmas gifts so she wants to give him one from her." --> change last part to "give him one."
 * Done, and added a 'too'.-- Gen. Quon   (Talk)   03:59, 30 December 2013 (UTC)


 * "Meanwhile, Jim agrees to a snowball fight with Dwight Schrute (Rainn Wilson), but when he is first challenged outside, he eventually finds the doors chained and Dwight emerging from a snowman, throwing multiple snowballs at him and leaving him with a bloody nose." Can you split this up into 2 sentences?
 * Did one better and made it three!-- Gen. Quon   (Talk)   03:59, 30 December 2013 (UTC)

Production

 * "her eighteenth writing on the series" ---> consider changing to "her eighteenth writing credit for the series"
 * Done.-- Gen. Quon   (Talk)   03:59, 30 December 2013 (UTC)


 * "The scenes featuring the snowmen were shot on the hottest day of the episode's shoot, with temperatures reaching above 90 degrees Fahrenheit." ---> consider adding where it is shot
 * Done.-- Gen. Quon   (Talk)   03:59, 30 December 2013 (UTC)

Review checklist

 * GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)


 * 1) It is reasonably well written.
 * a (prose, no copyvios, spelling and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
 * A well-written article. I have a few suggested copy edits listed above; but overall, very well done.
 * 1) It is factually accurate and verifiable.
 * a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources):  c (OR):
 * 1) It is broad in its coverage.
 * a (major aspects): b (focused):
 * 1) It follows the neutral point of view policy.
 * Fair representation without bias:
 * 1) It is stable.
 * No edit wars, etc.:
 * 1) It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
 * a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * Verified.
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail:
 * a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * Verified.
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail: