Talk:Code Age Brawls/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Shooterwalker (talk · contribs) 04:09, 18 May 2023 (UTC)

I'll take this one on. Look for comments within the week. Shooterwalker (talk) 04:09, 18 May 2023 (UTC)


 * Gameplay
 * "The game is split between 2D pre-rendered environments navigated by the player character in 3D, and 3D battle environments." -> This is a little confusing. Maybe try, "The player navigates game levels in 3D, through a mix of pre-rendered 2D and true 3D environments."


 * Tried to clarify, but the suggested edit wouldn't be accurate, so I didn't take it verbatim.
 * "Each player" -> this is multi-player? Not usually what I'd expect from an RPG, and it's worth covering this before diving into the player vs player mechanics. Or if this is a computer player, maybe choose language that indicates that, and save PvP for later.


 * I've changed it to "player and enemy", which can apply to single and multiplayer.
 * "If players play the same color they both attack, and if one player's color is higher only they attack. Players may choose to not play a badge in order to save it for later rounds; if both players do not play a badge then neither attacks" -> "Players can pass their turn to save their badges for later rounds, otherwise dealing damage when their badge equal to their opponent's badge level, or higher."


 * Done.
 * "In the original version, alongside single-player combat against computer-driven opponents, network-based multiplayer allowed player-versus-player battles, linking up through matchmaking with nearby phones playing the game." -> "The original version features single-player combat against computer opponents, as well as as player-versus-player combat by networking and matchmaking with nearby phones."


 * Done.
 * "The game also features an in-game Battle Arena where players battle AI-controlled teams of three, which was expanded to player-versus-player in April 2006."


 * Done.
 * " Players could" -> "Players can"


 * Done.
 * Synopsis
 * "Code Age Brawls is set on an "intraglobular world" (球内世界, kyuunai sekai), a fictional hollow world similar to a Dyson sphere, with people living on its internal surface" -> "Code Age Brawls takes place on the internal surface of a hollow world similar to a Dyson sphere, also called an "intraglobular world"."


 * Done.
 * "are struck out of orbit" -> by who? Passive voice can be confusing.


 * Done.
 * "ends up joining forces with a vigilante group" -> "joins forces with a vigilante group,"


 * Done.
 * "The final chapter focuses on Lost L confronting the leader of Afternova with help from Commanders characters Gene and Meme; and R, a character from Archive with a similar condition to Lost L" -> "The final chapter has Lost L team up with R, a character from Archive with a similar condition, as well as Commanders characters Gene and Meme. Together, they confront the leader of Afternova."


 * They don't team up, it's implied to be antagonistic. I've tried to adjust.
 * The "Coded" condition seems important to understanding this, and could be explained sooner / clearer.


 * I don't know how this can be sorted. Working from limited non-English sources is...difficult. If I expand it, I'll be going beyond the sources.
 * Development
 * " difficult process" -> this feels out of place, unless there's some expansion on how it connects to the next few sentences about the co-producer / director / character designer / etc.


 * Not important within the scope of Brawls, so I dropped it.
 * Depending on how this section is rephrased, the first paragraph might warrant a paragraph break, for organization.
 * " help players understand" -> I'd rephrase this as more of a goal. In practice, connecting this with games that players haven't experienced probably makes it harder to understand.


 * I just rewrote this bit after double-checking the interview.
 * "assistance communication" -> this needs some explanation as to what it is


 * Did my best to rewrite for clarity.
 * "as they best fitted the mobile format" -> "to fit the mobile format"


 * Done.
 * Release
 * "A trademark for Code Age Brawls was registered by Square Enix in September 2004 alongside other trademarks relating to the Code Age project" -> "Square Enix registered the trademark for Code Age Brawls in September 2004, alongside other trademarks relating to the Code Age project."


 * Done.
 * " The game was simultaneously announced in Japan and shown off at a Square Enix press conference prior to E3 2005 as the third part of the Code Age project with a projected release in 2005." -> "The game was announced at a Square Enix press conference prior to E3 2005, with a projected release in 2005." (the next sentence covers the rest)


 * I just dropped the video bit, seemed too much.
 * "As part its promotion, a lottery campaign was run between its release and January 31, 2006, with the rewards being themed accessories." -> As part the game's promotion, Square Enix ran a lottery campaign for themed (in-game?) accessories."


 * Clarified.
 * The chapter sentences could be written in one short sentence. (e.g.: "The five chapters were released separately, on (date), (date), (date), (date), and (date)."


 * Done.
 * Reception
 * I'm not sure the quotes add very much, and the sentiment could be summarized in plain language.


 * Did my best here.
 * It might be worth separating the reception of the trailer from the reception of the game, as short as it is.


 * Split.
 * Let's start there. The article is in decent shape, and can get to good article status with some work. Shooterwalker (talk) 16:15, 25 May 2023 (UTC)
 * Addressed everything above. --ProtoDrake (talk) 17:03, 25 May 2023 (UTC)
 * "the story follows the character Lost L as they struggle to survive through an apocalypse brought upon the world by its control system." -> "the story follows the character Lost L as they resist an apocalypse caused by an artificial world's control system."
 * Done.
 * "Lost L ends up helping a group of survivors" -> "Lost L helps a group of survivors"
 * Redone.
 * "Gameplay saw Lost L fighting in turn-based battles and absorbing defeated opponents' powers" -> "Gameplay consists of turn-based battles where the player absorbs the abilities of defeated opponents."
 * Done
 * "It released five story chapters " -> "It was released as five story chapters"
 * Done
 * "players controlled the character" -> "players control the character"
 * Done
 * "world even ten thousand years" -> " world every ten thousand years"
 * Done
 * "The five chapters were released separately, on December 15, then through 2006 on January 24, March 14, May 14, and July 3. " -> "The first chapter was released on December 15, 2005, with the remaining four chapters released the following year, on January 24, March 14, May 14, and July 3."
 * Done
 * I'm a little limited in my review of the Japanese sources, but I'm trusting that the sources check out. The other sources are solid. Shooterwalker (talk) 20:42, 25 May 2023 (UTC)
 * All above done. --ProtoDrake (talk) 20:53, 25 May 2023 (UTC)
 * Happy to call this a GA. Thanks again for all your work. Shooterwalker (talk) 02:22, 30 May 2023 (UTC)