Talk:College health/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Ajpolino (talk · contribs) 16:54, 25 March 2020 (UTC)

Hi there, sorry for the very long wait at WP:GAN. I'll be able to get through this review over the next couple of days. I hope all is well! Ajpolino (talk) 16:54, 25 March 2020 (UTC)
 * Sorry, got caught up with other things. Starting to go through the article now. Ajpolino (talk) 06:12, 2 April 2020 (UTC)
 * Hello, finished my first pass through the article. Comments below. Most are small and should be quick fixes, the one about the lead is a bit larger. I see you haven't edited in some time, so if I haven't heard from you in a few days, I'll mark this review as on-hold (which just means I've done my part and am waiting for you to return). I hope all is well! Ajpolino (talk) 17:55, 3 April 2020 (UTC)
 * Hello again, I'm going to close this review since sadly you don't seem to be around right now. Whenever you return (as I hope you do), you can nominate this again just as you did the first time (there's no penalty for having a missed review). I hope all is well wherever you are. Ajpolino (talk) 19:29, 17 April 2020 (UTC)


 * GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)

1. It is reasonably well written. 2. It is factually accurate and verifiable. 3. It is broad in its coverage. 4. It follows the neutral point of view policy. 5. It is stable.
 * a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
 * Mental health>Depression - Demographically, upperclassmen, college students, and those living off campus... - What is meant by "college students" here? Are "upperclassmen" and "those living off campus" a subset of "college students" (that's what I imagine when I read it)? If so, it's a weird-sounding list. If not, can you clarify what you mean there?
 * Mental health>Depression - The American College Health Association has been established for students with depression to provide resources, programs, and guidelines and promote mental health services. - I assume this is a typo? It looks like the ACHA was not established specifically for depression. Can you clarify the sentence?
 * Student health services>Mental health services - What does "high resource needs" mean? Could you clarify?
 * Same section - This growing demand for on-campus... you haven't mentioned a growing demand (though I assume these is one). The sentence before notes a difference between college and non-college folks, but not a change over time. Perhaps a sentence used to be there but has since been moved? Either way, could you clarify?
 * Same section - The interventions used by many of these... people that make up these universities this sentence is somewhat unclear as written. It's an important point, and should perhaps be expanded into two sentences (or more). It's currently unclear what's meant by "these American universities" (what American universities? the smaller institutions mentioned two sentence ago?) and "a more western approach to mental health" (I'm not sure that has some clear meaning to the average reader; I certainly don't know what to think of when I read it).
 * Same section - The interventions used by many of these... people that make up these universities this sentence is somewhat unclear as written. It's an important point, and should perhaps be expanded into two sentences (or more). It's currently unclear what's meant by "these American universities" (what American universities? the smaller institutions mentioned two sentence ago?) and "a more western approach to mental health" (I'm not sure that has some clear meaning to the average reader; I certainly don't know what to think of when I read it).
 * a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources):  c (OR):  d (copyvio and plagiarism):
 * I removed a sentence It is important to recognize the common symptoms and see a doctor for medication treatments and lifestyle changes to help improve quality of life. because, while certainly true, it pertains to all the conditions described in this article, and we generally avoid writing in an advisory style here on Wikipedia.
 * Substance abuse>Alcohol Alcohol is the most heavily-consumed substance globally..." I don't have access to the second source at the end of that sentence, but does this have to qualified in some way? The way it's written seems a bit extreme (presumably water is the most consumed substance?).
 * Substance abuse>Alcohol Alcohol is the most heavily-consumed substance globally..." I don't have access to the second source at the end of that sentence, but does this have to qualified in some way? The way it's written seems a bit extreme (presumably water is the most consumed substance?).
 * a (major aspects): b (focused):
 * The major weird thing about this article as it stands is that the lead is all about how health services are delivered in a college/university setting, so I expected this article to be about "College health services". However, the article is almost entirely about health problems that are common at colleges and universities. Only the last ~15% covers the provisioning of healthcare to college students. So really the article is more about "Health problems in college students". You should either change the lead to summarize the article content (per Manual of Style/Lead section), or expand the article content on delivering healthcare (and maybe contract the content on health problems). Personally, I'd prefer the latter, since I think college health services is undercovered on Wikipedia; but the former would be much easier, so I wouldn't blame you for choosing that path.
 * The major weird thing about this article as it stands is that the lead is all about how health services are delivered in a college/university setting, so I expected this article to be about "College health services". However, the article is almost entirely about health problems that are common at colleges and universities. Only the last ~15% covers the provisioning of healthcare to college students. So really the article is more about "Health problems in college students". You should either change the lead to summarize the article content (per Manual of Style/Lead section), or expand the article content on delivering healthcare (and maybe contract the content on health problems). Personally, I'd prefer the latter, since I think college health services is undercovered on Wikipedia; but the former would be much easier, so I wouldn't blame you for choosing that path.
 * Fair representation without bias:
 * Mental health>Post-secondary campus services - can you rephrase Therefore, post-secondary institutions have a responsibility to reach out to students, provide tailored feedback on potential symptoms, aid in creating suggestions for future goals, and facilitate the recovery process.? We typically avoid taking editorial positions on Wikipedia. If some respected body has asserted that this is the responsibility of post-secondary institutions, you could attribute that assertion to them (instead of saying it in WP:WIKIVOICE).
 * Mental health>Post-secondary campus services - can you rephrase Therefore, post-secondary institutions have a responsibility to reach out to students, provide tailored feedback on potential symptoms, aid in creating suggestions for future goals, and facilitate the recovery process.? We typically avoid taking editorial positions on Wikipedia. If some respected body has asserted that this is the responsibility of post-secondary institutions, you could attribute that assertion to them (instead of saying it in WP:WIKIVOICE).
 * No edit wars, etc.:

6. It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate. Overall:
 * a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * Some images would be nice. I know "college health" isn't something folks take pictures of, but there are probably plenty of nice images of college health centers, health fairs, health notices that have been posted at college campuses, et al. If you're having trouble finding images, let me know and we can reach out to other groups that might be able to help.
 * Some images would be nice. I know "college health" isn't something folks take pictures of, but there are probably plenty of nice images of college health centers, health fairs, health notices that have been posted at college campuses, et al. If you're having trouble finding images, let me know and we can reach out to other groups that might be able to help.
 * Pass/Fail: