Talk:Confessions of a Broken Heart (Daughter to Father)/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Petergriffin9901 (talk • message • contribs • count  • [/wiki/Special:Log?user= logs ] • email) 04:41, 1 September 2011 (UTC)

Lead
✅ - Sauloviegas (talk) 22:56, 8 September 2011 (UTC) - Sauloviegas (talk) 22:56, 8 September 2011 (UTC) ✅ - Sauloviegas (talk) 22:56, 8 September 2011 (UTC) ✅ - Sauloviegas (talk) 22:56, 8 September 2011 (UTC) ✅ - Sauloviegas (talk) 22:56, 8 September 2011 (UTC) ✅ - Sauloviegas (talk) 22:56, 8 September 2011 (UTC)
 * was mainly written by Lohan as a letter to her father -> problematic; mainly serving as a letter, or mainly written by Lohan. The latter is not verifiable, so I suggest you remove it
 * after her survived a car crash for which he was charged with driving under the influence of alcohol. -> doesn't make sense
 * They didn't record the song with her. They wrote and produced it. Lohan was the only person who recorded it
 * I wouldn't call the #7 in Australia, and top-70 in the US and Austria moderate. More like it didn't achieve commercial success. Re-phrase
 * the United States' -> no need for punctual point
 * in the living room -> of their home
 * I believe, I could be wrong as I don't remember, doesn't her sister play the younger version of Lohan in the past? If so, this should be mentioned.
 * No, Aliana plays herself. - Sauloviegas (talk) 22:56, 8 September 2011 (UTC)


 * As a response to the music video, Michael said he never realized how blessed his daughter was -> very vague. Not really sure what this means
 * Me neither. :D Removed. - Sauloviegas (talk) 22:56, 8 September 2011 (UTC)

Background and composition
- Sauloviegas (talk) 22:56, 8 September 2011 (UTC)
 * Same issues as lead
 * The sample needs improvement. What the lyrics mean is not enough of a rational to include the sample. maybe telling us about its musical elements etc.
 * Take a look now and tell me what you think. - Sauloviegas (talk) 22:56, 8 September 2011 (UTC)


 * This section is kind of flawed. Do you not have any info on its musical bed? Instruments used, influences? Anything?
 * No... :( I am so pissed because I have done a lot of research for this article and didn't got so much info. - Sauloviegas (talk) 22:56, 8 September 2011 (UTC)


 * You don't really mention the B-side anywhere in the actual prose
 * ✅ - Sauloviegas (talk) 22:56, 8 September 2011 (UTC)

Reception

 * Stephen Thomas Erlewine -> link
 * ✅ - Sauloviegas (talk) 22:56, 8 September 2011 (UTC)


 * That is an excessive quote. Either place it into a quote box of paraphrase more
 * Take a look now and tell me what you think. - Sauloviegas (talk) 22:56, 8 September 2011 (UTC)


 * Too many John Cayman of "" said
 * - Sauloviegas (talk) 22:56, 8 September 2011 (UTC)


 * "Confessions of a Broken Heart (Daughter to Father)" a negative review, saying the song
 * - Sauloviegas (talk) 22:56, 8 September 2011 (UTC)


 * This section needs a lot of tightening
 * What? - Sauloviegas (talk) 22:56, 8 September 2011 (UTC)


 * The song spent thirteen weeks on the chart, peaking at number forty-five on the last -> You said it peaked at number seven....?
 * "reaching number seven in Australia on the week of its debut on chart. The song spent thirteen weeks on the chart, peaking at number forty-five on the last." I don't see any problem with this: it peaked at number seven on the week of its debut on chart, and stayed on it for thirteen weeks, peaking at number forty-five on the last week. - Sauloviegas (talk) 22:56, 8 September 2011 (UTC)


 * dropping the chart in the following -> not proper
 * - Sauloviegas (talk) 22:56, 8 September 2011 (UTC)

Music video

 * drunkenness -> alcoholism....
 * - Sauloviegas (talk) 22:56, 8 September 2011 (UTC)


 * You don't make it clear enough what role Aliana plays
 * Why even when regarding the rosary?
 * - Sauloviegas (talk) 22:56, 8 September 2011 (UTC)


 * This section needs a lot of tightening as well. maybe someone not familiar with it ca give it a quick copy-edit?
 * I agree. But who? Novice7?


 * The photo doesn't really give us anything, and the description is poor. A better photo and description is needed
 * Changed with a better description - Sauloviegas (talk) 22:56, 8 September 2011 (UTC)


 * What about live performances? For one I know she sang (over heavy-back-track and playback) at the AMAs
 * I'm trying to find more info. It looks like she also performed the song at TRL. I'll fix the lead and add info to this section as soon as I find it. - Sauloviegas (talk) 22:56, 8 September 2011 (UTC)

Misc
- Sauloviegas (talk) 18:36, 9 September 2011 (UTC) - Sauloviegas (talk) 18:36, 9 September 2011 (UTC)
 * Why are so many references with parameters in italics? Only works that are printed sources (such as Billboard) should be in italics, not Allmusic and iTunes.
 * one dead-link


 * That's all. On hold until Sunday night (When I'm leaving). Rather short article so you shouldn't have a problem. Good luck.-- CallMe Nathan  &bull;  Talk2Me   17:01, 8 September 2011 (UTC)