Talk:Congress Radio/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Sammi Brie (talk · contribs) 04:16, 29 August 2022 (UTC)

I enjoyed reading this. A fair number of copy changes to address, as well as some work with the references. If you have Thakkar 2021 and can cite page numbers, please do so. 7-day hold to. Sammi Brie (she/her • t • c) 05:53, 29 August 2022 (UTC)

Copy changes

 * Is "Azad" or "Azaad" more common in sources? The lead and infobox differ, and those are the only two uses in the article of this other name.
 * ✅ went with Azad which is what most sources go with.

Lead

 * functioned from different locations from Bombay, present day Mumbai — change the second "from" to "in" and hyphenate "present-day"


 * Mahatma Gandhi should be introduced in full with honorific here, as this is not done anywhere else in the article. If the style used here is typical in Indian text, let me know.


 * It was organized by Usha Mehta (1920–2000), then a twenty-two year student activist with the help of amateur radio operators. Add a comma after "activist" and change "twenty-two year" to "22-year-old"


 * Her other associates for organizing the Congress Radio — remove the "the" and maybe reword as "Others who helped Mehta organize Congress Radio". I see many are unlinked; are they notable and worthy of mentioning here in the lede? I also see "the Congress Radio" several more times where an article isn't warranted.
 * ✅. Will come back to check again.


 * De-italicize Chicago Radio


 * Remove the first "1942" in the second sentence

Background

 * Add comma after "throughout the British Empire"


 * "then-imperial" hyphenate


 * with understandably no space for the dissenting voices from the Indian independence movement which was rapidly gaining steam during the war time — I think this could be reworded. The "understandably" is a bit strange in texture. Perhaps something like Wartime restrictions left no room for the dissenting voices from the Indian independence movement, which was rapidly gaining steam during the war.


 * Remove comma after "8 August"


 * Capitalize empire in "British Empire"


 * Add commas after "arrested" and "across the country"


 * Remove comma after "at this time"


 * "Set up" is two words as a verb. (This recurs once more in this section.)
 * ✅. Gosh I need to keep this in mind. Seems like I have made this error at multiple places.


 * "and was a student" remove the "was" as the second one


 * "master's degree" with apostrophe


 * The last two commas in the sentence starting should be semicolons, as one of the list members has an appositive set off with a comma.


 * locations as wide Germany, Japan, Rangoon, Saigon, and even Singapore which held by Japan at that time. There are two words missing: "as" after "wide" and "was" after "which". Add a comma after Singapore.


 * Comma after (transl. Radio Free India)

Operations

 * "Meters" should be "metres" to use Indian English.
 * ✅; Also did this for the 40-meter band. However, if I should revert the latter, please do let me know. Thanks.


 * Comma after "avoid the police"


 * Comma after "Indian independence movement" (and remove Mahatma if you add it in the lead sentence)
 * ; regarding the latter, another reviewer had once told me that I should interpret the lede and the rest of the article separately. If that is not the case, please let me know and I will remove the word 'Mahatma' and retain Gandhi.


 * The then government was able to occasionally jam the radio signal, but, the station's broadcasts were heard as far across the country and as far out as Japanese-occupied Burma. Tidy: The then-government was able to occasionally jam the radio signal, but the station's broadcasts were heard across the country and as far out as Japanese-occupied Burma.


 * a broadcast of Sare Jahan se Accha, written by Muhammad Iqbal and ended the day Complete the appositive by adding a comma after "Iqbal".


 * In one of its broadcasts it took up the topic of mass-rapes by British soldiers calling it the "most bestial thing that one could imagine" asked for citizens to stand-up to it. Whole sentence needs work. Consider: Congress Radio regularly spoke up on the atrocities committed by British soldiers and administrators. In one broadcast, it addressed the topic of mass rapes by British soldiers, calling them the "most bestial thing that one could imagine" and asking for citizens to stand up to rape; other broadcasts discussed the plights of one woman raped in a police van and another who had been carrying food to political prisoners before being assaulted. The original was lacking commas for flow as well as a conjunction and had extra hyphenation. I've also reflowed it with one two sentences down on a similar target.


 * Sentences after the above have very similar starts. Maybe to follow... Another broadcast touted the values of secularism and spoke about the need for unity between the Hindu and Muslim communities.


 * Comma after "and students"


 * The station also took the message of the Indian movement beyond the country by messages of internationalism. Overuse of "message", maybe "and preached internationalism" instead?


 * The then Government of India's home ministry add a hyphen after "then". Possibly consider "The British imperial home ministry".


 * However, they were not able to detect the originating location since the operators would mask their location. Overuse of "location". Maybe However, they were not able to trace them to a source, as operators would mask their location.


 * Printer was captured by the authorities for his association with the station and he would lead the police to the Paradise bungalow near Mahalakshmi temple in Bombay, location of the final broadcast on 12 November 1942. User:Sammi Brie/Commas in sentences — comma needed after "with the station".
 * Makes sense. I broke the sentence into two. Please see if that is alright.


 * It was noted that the station was playing its concluding Vande Mataram song at the end of the day's broadcast when it was shut down. A bit awkward. Maybe It was noted that the station was playing "Vande Mataram", the song it used when signing off for the day, when it was shut down.

Reference changes

 * Is reference [5] to a book blurb used in place of the actual Congress Radio blurb? If not, consider using shortened footnotes for all the references to Thakkar and specifying page numbers. Several claims cited to the blurb fail verification, as they presumably are in the actual book. This would also replace [8], a book excerpt.
 * Unfortunately, I do not have the book. Also, checked the local library and they do not have the book either. Any other options here?


 * Reference [7] should cite The Hindu as the source (the article is dated 25 August, not 11 September) and then link in the archive-url parameter to the archived page.
 * ✅ I think, might need another pair of eyes.

Other items

 * Earwig mostly seems to catch quotes.
 * Two images. One is GODL-licensed. The other has an appropriate fair use rationale, but I note the rationale states usage in the infobox, and it's not in the infobox (nor is it a good image for there). Both need alt text (not strictly in GA spec, but I tend to ask for it with copy changes to make editors aware about it as a best practice).
 * ✅ Added the Alt text.


 * Archive references (not all are).
 * ✅ I think. Will come back at the end and check once more.


 * Thanks for this review and detailed notes, . Will find some time this week and try address these points. If I need some extra time, I will be sure to let you know here. Thanks. Ktin (talk) 14:49, 29 August 2022 (UTC)
 * @Sammi Brie -- wanted to follow up here and ask for some additional time for me to get to this one. I was hoping to get to this over the weekend, but, something has come up IRL that I need to be largely away during the weekend. Much appreciate your consideration. Thanks. Ktin (talk) 17:46, 1 September 2022 (UTC)
 * I'm fine with that. Sammi Brie  (she/her • t • c) 18:22, 1 September 2022 (UTC)
 * Thanks for your patience @Sammi Brie. Also, thank you for the detailed notes. I have completed almost all of the requests, I think. Passing back to you to have a look at your convenience. Ktin (talk) 00:31, 7 September 2022 (UTC)