Talk:Constantius III/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Gug01 (talk · contribs) 23:11, 11 April 2018 (UTC)

There should be more information added if possible about his military conquests. Also, all of his military conquests need not be packed in one paragraph. Did he do anything as emperor of importance? What about his early life (before 411)? Gug01 (talk) 23:23, 11 April 2018 (UTC)
 * Not really, given his exceptionally short reign. Iazyges   Consermonor   Opus meum  14:49, 18 April 2018 (UTC)

1A Clarifying Prose, 3A, 3B Information:

Lead: "That same year, he was sent to suppress the revolt of Constantine III. Constantius led his army to Arles, and defeated Gerontius, a general rebelling against Constantine, before himself besieging Arles. After defeating a relief force led by Edobichus, Constantius convinced Constantine to surrender, offering a safe retirement to a monastery. However, once Constantine had surrendered Constantius had him imprisoned and then beheaded." Gug01 (talk) 23:43, 11 April 2018 (UTC)
 * Where is Arles (Gaul) the reader might want to know.
 * Add: He was sent to suppress the revolt of Constantine III, a rebellious general-turned-emperor from Britain.
 * I've mostly added this; it's important to note that he isn't recognized by historians as a legitimate emperor. Iazyges   Consermonor   Opus meum  14:49, 18 April 2018 (UTC)
 * Add: He led his army to Arles, Gaul, the capital of Constantine III's army
 * Unclear: Constantius III was fighting against Constantine III, right? So why would he defeat one of Constantine III's rebel generals before defeating Constantine III? The switch from attacking Gerontius to Constantine III should be made clear.
 * He did this because he wanted to siege Arles but the rebel general was there. So he defeated the general and sieged Arles. Iazyges   Consermonor   Opus meum  14:49, 18 April 2018 (UTC)
 * "Constantius convinced Constantine to surrender, offering a safe retirement to a monastery. However, once Constantine had surrendered Constantius had him imprisoned and then beheaded." - very specific material, cut down in size: the details are not necessary. Say something like: "Constantius convinced Constantine to surrender, promising safe retirement, but betrayed and beheaded him as soon as he surrendered." Makes it seem more compressed.
 * He did this because he wanted to siege Arles but the rebel general was there. So he defeated the general and sieged Arles. Iazyges   Consermonor   Opus meum  14:49, 18 April 2018 (UTC)
 * "Constantius convinced Constantine to surrender, offering a safe retirement to a monastery. However, once Constantine had surrendered Constantius had him imprisoned and then beheaded." - very specific material, cut down in size: the details are not necessary. Say something like: "Constantius convinced Constantine to surrender, promising safe retirement, but betrayed and beheaded him as soon as he surrendered." Makes it seem more compressed.

Break up sections: Break up "life" into more categories - "Early life" (what little is known), "War Against Constantine III" (or something of that sort), "Later Conquests", "Ascension to Emperor", "Death". The categories obviously aren't set in stone, but it isn't a good idea to have the whole article in one section. Most of them will be really short, but that only underscores the fact that this article needs more information to be added to it. Gug01 (talk) 23:45, 11 April 2018 (UTC)

Rest of article: In general, the rest of the article doesn't really flow well, with abrupt endings to sentences and repetitions. Considering how the article should anyway be broken up into more sections and more information should be added, I will refrain from specific suggestions for now, but will give more feedback later. Gug01 (talk) 23:47, 11 April 2018 (UTC)
 * Adding to that, the rest of the article could be expanded on. Gug01 (talk) 21:32, 13 April 2018 (UTC)
 * There is not more information to be added. Iazyges   Consermonor   Opus meum  14:49, 18 April 2018 (UTC)


 * I have implemented your suggestions where possible. Iazyges   Consermonor   Opus meum  14:49, 18 April 2018 (UTC)