Talk:Control (Janet Jackson album)/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''


 * "her father and former manager" This is confusing. You mean while Jackson was with her father during the predecessor of Control, he was already his former manager?
 * Appear to be done. — Realist  2  20:48, 28 August 2008 (UTC)
 * "Control became one of the most influential rhythm and blues albums of all time, blending rap with contemporary R&B, triple swing and a variety of other musical techniques" You mean the album was deemed influential because it blends such genres?
 * Appear to be done. — Realist  2  20:48, 28 August 2008 (UTC)
 * "and a variety of other musical techniques; a sub-genre known as new jack swing, created by Teddy Riley in the mid-1980s." Seems wrong with the use of a semi-colon? Also, the last clause is off-topic, maybe relevant but too detailed for a lead.
 * Appear to be done. — Realist  2  20:48, 28 August 2008 (UTC)
 * "Though Jackson began her recording career in 1982, the success of Control caused the misconception that it was her debut album." I do not get this and the info about the singles inserted before this seems to break the flow. Maybe as a closing sentence?
 * Appear to be done. — Realist  2  20:48, 28 August 2008 (UTC)
 * "she was best known" Who said this?
 * Done. — Realist  2  20:48, 28 August 2008 (UTC)
 * (First para of the section background) The first and second sentence seems to not connect.
 * New paragraph, they are about different things, they will never "connect". — Realist  2  20:55, 28 August 2008 (UTC)
 * "In 1985, Jackson rebelled against her family's wishes by marrying James DeBarge of the family recording group DeBarge. Their marriage was soon annulled" Rebel then annul? There is something missing there.
 * Added detail about hid drug problem. — Realist  2  21:16, 28 August 2008 (UTC)
 * "but the impact left Jackson permanently independent of her family's affairs" Hmm. Seems contentious. Who reported this?
 * Done — Realist  2  21:19, 28 August 2008 (UTC)
 * I think it would be better to expound a lil why Jackson really wanted to get out of her father's supervision aside from desiring to become an independent young woman.
 * "Jam and Lewis, who were former members of Prince's recording group The Time, had become world-famous, producing hits for artists such as Alexander O'Neal and Patti Austin." Is there a relevance in this sentence?
 * Removed. — Realist  2  21:27, 28 August 2008 (UTC)
 * "When Jam and Lewis agreed to produce Jackson's third studio album" I think this is late in chronological order if based from the last sentence of the second para.
 * I think a lot of the background section would be better suited in the rather small production section, you think? — Realist  2  21:36, 28 August 2008 (UTC)
 * "they wanted to primarily appeal to the African-American community, in addition to achieving crossover success on the pop music charts" Is this the aim of the producers for theirselves of for the album (or Jackson) to achieve that something?
 * My guess would be all three, but who knows what greed producers are thinking in their minds. — Realist  2  21:39, 28 August 2008 (UTC)
 * "African-American community" In what country?
 * Done — Realist  2  21:36, 28 August 2008 (UTC)
 * removed specification. By definition, the term African-American only applies to the United States. The Bookkeeper   (of the Occult)  04:43, 31 August 2008 (UTC)
 * "in addition to achieving crossover success on the pop music charts" Needs a bit context here. Why need crossover success on pop realm? Because Jackson is primarily an R&B singer?
 * I think they were afraid white people wouldn't buy it. I think they really mean cross over with white people. — Realist  2  21:43, 28 August 2008 (UTC)
 * "but the album has been remembered among critics for being a showcase for the talents of its producers" Seems fitting to the critical reviews section.
 * Already in the critical reaction section so removed. — Realist  2  21:46, 28 August 2008 (UTC)
 * The section production is very short. You may want to merge it on the preceding section.
 * I think its better to rewrite the header title as Music and lyrics
 * "Lyrics for the album were either penned by Jam and Lewis or co-written by Jam, Lewis and Jackson." This belongs to the above section.
 * "outside of her hotel" You mean she owns the hotel?
 * "Jimmy Jam wrote and played the keyboard arrangement, with Jackson playing the accompaniment. Background vocals were sung by Jackson, Jam and Lewis." This sounds off-topic?
 * "Jam and Lewis' collaboration with Jackson is said to have been one of the high points of 1980s popular music, as they redefined dance music by mixing a youthful sound with industrial-strength beats." For this paragraph, sounds off-topic? Sounds like a critical reaction.
 * "blending rap with contemporary R&B, triple swing and a variety of other musical techniques; a sub-genre known as new jack swing" There are the missing points in the section Music.
 * "Control, thusly became a concept album based of her new-found sense of independence." This is also missing in the text.
 * I think the presentation of the subsection singles is off-topic for an article about an album. Why don't you focus on the release of the album and somehow touch a bit on the singles?
 * Who is Eric Henderson?
 * Why is it that its then-unknown?
 * "At the time of Control's debut" on the charts? In the US? UK?
 * Maybe you can merge the Allmusic review in the first para? Is it possible?
 * Maybe you can summarize the certification thing? They’re like listy.
 * Please mention this under the subsection Commercial: "becoming Jackson's first album to top the chart. Five of the album's commercial singles"
 * Did the album fail to chart in the UK? In Australi? Japan? NZ? Other international music markets?
 * "to hold the top three positions of the Billboard 200" What do you mean by this?
 * "Control, according to Billboard, was the fifth best-selling album of 1986 in the United States. Control was also the fifth best-selling album of 1987 according to Billboard. The album was nominated for Album of the Year at the 1987 Grammy Awards, losing out to Paul Simon's Graceland.[29] Despite losing Album of the Year, Control earned Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis the Grammy Award for best producer." I think this part is not a legacy? Some parts under Legacy are not actually legacy.
 * "and her 1993 album janet. ranks on the list at number 151" I think this can be removed.
 * Removed. The Bookkeeper   (of the Occult)  05:07, 31 August 2008 (UTC)
 * The last paragraph needs sourcing as well as that short paragraph under the section Track listing.
 * Removed. The Bookkeeper   (of the Occult)  05:07, 31 August 2008 (UTC)
 * The table for the singles is of no use, I think, since this is an article about the album.
 * The majority of album articles, esp those that are featured, have a table for both album chart positions and the primary chart positions of its singles. The Bookkeeper   (of the Occult)  05:03, 31 August 2008 (UTC)

I'll put this on hold for seven days for improvements. Thank you. --Efe (talk) 00:55, 21 August 2008 (UTC) I'm not going to be able to finish at this point. I'll have to come back to this article, once I have more free time. Thanks. The Bookkeeper  (of the Occult)  22:07, 7 September 2008 (UTC)
 * Hi, Efe could the on hold be extended a little while, Bookkeeper and myself have been a little bogged down to deal with this at the moment. With a little time we can fix this up for GA. — Realist  2  22:43, 26 August 2008 (UTC)
 * Ok. I'll extend this for another week. After which, I'll finally decide. If you want me to extend for the second time (of course with valid reason and I know you both are busy), please tell me as early as you could. Thank you. --Efe (talk) 09:29, 27 August 2008 (UTC)
 * Thanx. — Realist  2  13:53, 27 August 2008 (UTC)

I failed the article per request and it seems that there are still lots of unaddressed comments. When you have time, you may finish them if you still see those comments helpful and renominate the article. Thank you. --Efe (talk) 00:19, 16 September 2008 (UTC)