Talk:Coral poaching

Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment
This article was the subject of a Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment, between 14 January 2020 and 30 April 2020. Further details are available on the course page. Student editor(s): Sij7.

Above undated message substituted from Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org assignment by PrimeBOT (talk) 19:30, 17 January 2022 (UTC)

Untitled
This article talks about the phenomenon, Coral poaching. It explores the effects of coral poaching on the environment. It is unclear what the article is about due to the absence of a title. It is broken down into sections, which makes it easier to read and understand. This article makes use of some wikilinks, which provides additional information. Adding more wikilinks will be helpful to the reader. e.g. poaching, Asia, China, India The tone in the sentences "Then divers on the boat will go dive down and harvest the coral." and "The country of Japan punishes anyone illegally poaching coral in their waters by giving out up to six months imprisonment or a ¥300,000 fine" are a bit informal and do not follow the appropriate tone of a wikipedia article. I suggest restructuring the sentence "With one colony going up to 65,0000 a piece, it is no wonder that many fisherman are willing to risk the punishment for the highly prized piece of jewelry". In the methods and reasons section, some of the references need to reformatted.

Funmsie 19:47, 10 November 2014 (UTC)

Turner_Aiello_U3PR

The article does a good job of remaining neutral on what is a highly politicized issue. There is one example, however, that suggests a non-neutral view, and that's the use of the word "unfortunately" in the last sentence of the introduction.

Other than that, there is some language that reads somewhat like an essay, rather than the short, matter of fact language generally found in wikipedia articles. A couple examples include, "Many jewelry companies in China, Taiwan, and India would more than be willing to pay a hefty price for coral...," and "The illegal removal of coral happens to be one of the most major environmental issues…" Shortening these to be more direct statements (perhaps shortening "would more than be willing to pay" to "are willing to pay," and "happens to be one of the most major" to "is one of the most major") would make the article read more like other wikipedia articles.

Wiki Education assignment: Global Extractivism
— Assignment last updated by Sancar27 (talk) 21:09, 12 May 2024 (UTC)