Talk:Corey Moore (safety)/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Kaiser matias (talk · contribs) 02:08, 5 November 2017 (UTC)

Comments:


 * Is there any details that can be added about his non-football life, like a personal life section?


 * "Georgia was the first school to offer Moore..." I'd suggest moving that to the start of the College career section, as it feels more in place there.


 * While I see each paragraph in the College career is for one season, it would serve better to combine them into perhaps two paragraphs (so one for his freshman and sophomore season, one for junior and senior). It just looks fuller that way.


 * "Moore signed with the Houston Texans on May 11, 2015 after going undrafted in the 2015 NFL Draft." In order to not keep starting paragraph's with "Moore," I'd reword this to something like: "After going undrafted in the 2015 NFL Draft, Moore was signed by the Houston Texans on May 11, 2015."


 * "He was released by the team on September 5 and signed to the team's practice squad on September 8, 2015. He was promoted to the active roster on December 29, 2015." This can be worded better as well: "Released by the team on Sep. 5, he was then signed to the Texans' practice squad (which should have a link), on Sep. 8, and ultimately promoted to the active roster on Dec. 29."


 * "During the fifth game of the season, Moore suffered a concussion." Did he miss any time from this, or is he still on the active roster? It should be made clear why the concussion matters.

Once these are fixed, I'll take another look. I also made a couple minor changes myself to help clean it up. Kaiser matias (talk) 02:08, 5 November 2017 (UTC)
 * I think I've fixed everything but the personal life. I couldn't really find anything. The team bios from Georgia and the Texans don't have anything about his personal life. WikiOriginal-9 (talk) 02:31, 5 November 2017 (UTC)
 * While I'd prefer to have some details outside of his life, if there isn't anything available, then so be it. I also did a quick look and didn't see anything. Other than that, looks good. Kaiser matias (talk) 02:59, 5 November 2017 (UTC)
 * Thanks for the review. WikiOriginal-9 (talk) 03:00, 5 November 2017 (UTC)