Talk:Cornell Botanic Gardens/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: The Utahraptor Talk/Contribs 23:06, 27 December 2010 (UTC)

I will review this article. My review will be posted within the next hour or two. The Utahraptor Talk/Contribs 23:06, 27 December 2010 (UTC)
 * I don't believe this article is quite there yet. There's a lot of work to be done, so I am failing Symbol unsupport vote.svg this article. Below are some suggestions for improvement. The Utahraptor Talk/Contribs 23:40, 27 December 2010 (UTC)


 * This entire article could use a copy edit for tone. Some sections seem to be written, at least in part, in a promotional tone.
 * Are there any more images available? Can an image of the plantation taken prior to 1900 be produced?
 * Add convert templates wherever possible.
 * This article needs an infobox.
 * "...located adjacent to the Cornell University campus, Ithaca, New York." - Consider revising to "...located adjacent to the Cornell University campus in Ithaca, New York."
 * "It also includes 40 different nature areas covering 4,300 acres of rich and diverse habitats." - Consider removing the "also", as nothing that is included was mentioned prior to this sentence. Also consider removing "rich and diverse", as this does not sound neutral.
 * "Finally, the Plantations maintains four gardens on Cornell's central campus." - Consider revising to "The Plantations also maintains four gardens on Cornell's central campus."
 * The history section seems a bit rushed. It should be expanded to at least three or four paragraphs rather than just two paragraphs.
 * "...Louis Agassiz, an internationally-known naturalist remarked that no other area..." - Consider adding a comma after naturalist.
 * "When the university built is first women's dormitory..." - Change "is" to "its".
 * "...a conservatory for growing plants and also a specimen tree collection." - Consider removing "also".
 * "...Cornell acquired a demonstration forest, near Saranac Lake,..." - Consider removing the commas.
 * "As a part of establishing that school, Cornell acquired a demonstration forest, near Saranac Lake, in the Adirondacks drew heated opposition from neighboring land owners." - This sentence makes little sense, and should be reworded.
 * "...in the Adirondacks drew..." - Who/What are Adirondacks?
 * "Although political opposition caused Cornell to transfer that forest lands under the "forever wild" protection..." - Consider replacing "that" with "the".
 * "In 1935 the university formally established..." - Consider adding a comma after 1935.
 * "...Liberty Hyde Bailey, the Dean of the College of Agriculture proposed the..." - Consider adding a comma after Agriculture.
 * "...although 85% of the Plantations' budget comes from gifts." - For consistency, consider moving the apostrophe between the "n" and the "s", since it was done in the previous sentence.
 * "In the early 1970s the Arboretum was upgraded..." - Consider adding a comma after 1970s.
 * "At the turn of the 21st century..." - Consider revising to "In the 21st century..." or "In the early 2000s..." - early 2000s is ambiguous. "Turn of the century" is an established formulation.
 * "...the Plantations embarked on a construction program which included: Arboretum Center (2000)..." - Consider removing the colon.
 * "Cornell Plantations also manages an additional 1400 ha (3500 acres) of biologically diverse natural areas including bogs, fens..." - Consider adding a comma after areas.
 * "The Plantations operate side by side with Cornell's other programs." - Consider revising to "The Plantations operate side-by-side with Cornell's other programs."
 * "Cornell's academic buildings (which are owned by either the university or New York State (for statutory college buidings))..." - Consider revising to "Cornell's academic buildings, which are owned by either the university or New York State (for statutory college buildings),..."
 * "...statutory college buidings..." - Fix the spelling of building.
 * "The College has the Dilmun Hill Student Farm is a student-run farm that has been practicing sustainable agriculture on Cornell University's campus since 1996." - Consider revising to "The College owns the Dilmun Hill Student Farm, a student-run farm that has been practicing sustainable agriculture on Cornell University's campus since 1996." - NYS owns the farm, I used "operates"
 * "Finally, the College also operates Campus Area Farms comprises 11 different farms and 325 acres in and around the Cornell Campus." - Consider revising to "Finally, the College also operates Campus Area Farms, which comprises of 11 different farms and 325 acres in and around the Cornell Campus."
 * "What distinguishes the Plantations from these other adjacent properties is that the Plantations are open to the public and are designed for both instruction and enjoyment." - This sounds a bit promotional; consider revising to "The Plantations are open to the public and are designed for instruction as well as leisure."
 * "The Plantations provide a venue for a number of annual activities including a celebration of Arbor Day and the Cornell Reunion 5 Mile Run." - Even though it's just one sentence, it needs a source. All paragraphs must have at least one source, and while this is just one sentence, it is separated from the other paragraphs, and should therefore be treated as such.
 * "...a number of annual activities including a celebration..." - Consider adding a comma after activities.