Talk:Coverdale–Page/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: K. Peake (talk · contribs) 19:17, 27 October 2021 (UTC)

Stayed absent from reviews for a while due to work; will be a pleasure to wipe this out! --K. Peake 19:17, 27 October 2021 (UTC)

Infobox and lead

 * The genres should be written out and sourced in music and lyrics, rather than refs being added for them here
 * Separate the producers using bullet points instead
 * Write stylized instead of styled
 * "is the only studio album by singer" → "is a collaborative studio album by English singer"
 * You should start a second sentence with "It was released on" since there's numerous dates
 * "North America, and 18 March by Sony" → "North America and 18 March by Sony Music Entertainment"
 * "It was co-produced by" → "The album's production was handled by"
 * Remove A&R executive introduction to John Kalodner because this is not notable for the lead
 * "of the two working together." → "of the musicians working together." to make it clear you are referring to them and not the bands
 * "in twelve countries. It reached" → "in 12 countries, including reaching" per MOS:NUM
 * The silver and gold certifications are not notable for the lead, also none should be in this sentence; start a new one mentioning it was certified platinum in both the US and Canada by the two separate organizations, keeping respectively at the end
 * "Critical reception was generally mixed. Some music critics" → "Critical reception towards Coverdale–Page was generally mixed; some music critics" with the pipe, plus this should be the first sentence of the para while still followed by the other reception info
 * "while others viewed it as" → "However, others viewed the collaboration as"
 * Remove Led Zeppelin vocalist introduction to Rob Plant, as "with" implies he was part of the band
 * Wikilink reissue

Background

 * It is not sourced that he elected the status for the band
 * "Plant eventually decided to" → "Plant decided to" because "initially" is used earlier in the sentence
 * "suggested bringing the two" →"suggested them working"
 * "they weren't well acquainted with each other." → "they did not know each other well."
 * "with one another, and" → "with one another and"
 * "they reportedly stopped traffic" → "they apparently stopped traffic"
 * "asking if they would be working together." → "asking if a collaboration was in the works." to avoid overusing "they"
 * "From there they" → "From there, Coverdale and Page"
 * Remove wikilink on Barbados
 * "out the songs. These rehearsals" → "out the songs; these rehearsals"
 * Add release year of "Rock and Roll" in brackets

Production and composition

 * Doesn't the first sentence actually belong at the end of the para?
 * "drummer Denny Carmassi, bassist Ricky Phillips," → "Carmassi on drums, Phillips on bass," because these terms do not work when we already know who they are
 * "Recording began at" → "Recording for Coverdale–Page began at"
 * "recording moved to" → "recording was moved to"
 * Shouldn't you introduce Miami as being in Florida?
 * Pipe overdubs to Overdubbing
 * Mention the name of Coverdale's home studio
 * "According to Ricky Phillips," → "According to Phillips,"
 * "work on the album." → "work on Coverdale–Page."
 * "The record was mastered by" → "Mastering was handled by" with the pipe
 * "although he is uncredited in the album's liner notes." → "despite his lack of credit in the liner notes." and are you sure this shouldn't be in the sub-section?

Music and lyrics

 * Probably write the genres out as the first sentence here, unless you can make them fit in better within the above para
 * The audio sample page is missing the artist, songwriters, producers and copyright license
 * "was originally written by" → "was originally crafted by" on the sample text and wikilink Led Zeppelin
 * "presented it to" → "presented the riff to"
 * Lowercase the Firm per MOS:THEMUSIC
 * "On "Waiting on You"," → "For "Waiting on You","
 * "with a vocal melody for the pre-chorus." → "with a pre-chorus vocal melody." with the wikilink per MOS:LINK2SECT
 * "Eventually he came up" → "Eventually, he came up"
 * Wikilink chord progression
 * "Lyrically Coverdale described" → "Lyrically, Coverdale described"
 * "original working title" → "original working title of"
 * Add release year of Led Zeppelin III in brackets
 * "grew from another" → "developed from another"
 * Saying the lyrics "deal with celebrity" is too vague; write something more specific like celebrity life, status or whatever the source shows
 * "but left unused until he presented it to" → "but was left unused until presented to"
 * "and his solo album" → "as well as his 2000 solo album" and mentioned the release years of the other albums too

Release and promotion

 * Img looks good!
 * "by Geffen,[21] and" → "by Geffen and" moving [21] to the end of the sentence instead
 * [22] does not back up any release in Japan and this is the certification ref anyway
 * "The album debuted at" → "Coverdale–Page debuted at"
 * "and by April," → "and by April 1993,"
 * Add BPI in brackets for the organization
 * "of over 60 000 copies." → "of over 60,000 copies in the UK."
 * "it reached number five" → "the album reached number five"
 * Add RIAA in brackets
 * "of over half a million copies. The album would eventually go" → "of 500,000 units in the country, before eventually being certified"
 * "the top ten in" → "the top 10 in" per MOS:NUM
 * "Japan,[29] and Sweden." → "Japan and Sweden." moving [29] to the end of the sentence before [30]
 * "charted in twelve countries." → "charted in 12 countries." but this needs a source as does the singles sentence
 * "reached number one" → "reached numbers one"
 * "respectively, on the" → "respectively, on the US"
 * "too "gothic" by MTV." → "too gothic by the channel." since this is not a direct quote
 * "Drummer Denny Carmassi was retained" → "Carmassi was retained"
 * "tour couldn't be put together." → "tour was not possible."
 * "backed up by Guy Pratt," → "seconded by Pratt,"
 * "allegedly Page's manager was unenthusiastic" → "he was allegedly unenthusiastic"
 * "directly to Page, that" → "directly to Page that"
 * "select songs from Whitesnake and Led Zeppelin." → "certain Whitesnake and Led Zeppelin songs." to be clear
 * "thus the collaboration" → "thus their work together"
 * "had been contacted by Robert Plant's" → "was contacted by Plant's"

Reception

 * Remove one of the reviews from the box since there is only supposed to a maximum of 10 in here; probably Robert Christgau since the review is notable but is from his website rather than a publication
 * "Contemporary reviews for Coverdale–Page were mixed." → "Coverdale–Page was met with mixed reviews from contemporary music critics." with the pipe
 * Try to split the first para into two since it is very extensive, also organize negative and positive reviews separately more
 * Introduce Robert Christgau as merely being a critic since we already know the subject is music by this point
 * Entertainment Weekly rating should not be in prose since that's displayed in the box
 * "which he felt had" → "feeling the voice had"
 * End the quote after better use and write "than against the guitar" because the sentence already makes it known who plays this
 * "was an improved performance" → "as an improved performance"
 * "imitation of Led Zeppelin vocalist Robert Plant." → "imitation of Plant."
 * Change all instance of "writing for" to "for" after the first one (Record Collector)
 * "but "Les Zeppelin" → "but "Led Zeppelin"
 * Los Angeles Times rating should not be in prose since that's displayed in the box
 * Use "the staff of" before Q and Rock Hard reviews
 * ""excellent", and that" → ""excellent" and wrote that"
 * "called it "a" → "called the record "a"
 * "declared the record" → "declared Coverdale–Page"
 * AllMusic rating should not be in prose since that's displayed in the box
 * "Neil Jeffries, in a separate" → "Neil Jeffries, in a" removing the rating prior to this per above
 * "of top ten David Coverdale" → "of Coverdale's top 10"
 * "top ten Jimmy Page songs" → "top 10 Page songs"
 * "comments from Robert Plant." → "comments from Plant."
 * "referred to Coverdale in" → "referred to him in"

Legacy

 * "Despite the project's" → "Despite their project's" to be clear you mean their collaborative effort
 * "Coverdale commented in" → "Coverdale later commented in" since this is after they were collaborators
 * The New York Times Magazine → The New York Times
 * Pipe 2008 Universal fire to 2008 Universal Studios fire
 * Wikilink reissue
 * "versions of the album," → "versions of Coverdale–Page,"
 * "though these plans have since been delayed" → "though their plans were delayed"

Track listing

 * See MOS:TABLECAPTION

Personnel

 * The word on is not needed in brackets, as track numbers make it clear that these things were contributed to them

Album

 * See MOS:TABLECAPTION
 * Use templates where possible and if not, write the chart name followed by the publisher in brackets
 * The year should be in brackets at the top since it is only one and change position to peak position; see the GAN Speak Now for example

Singles

 * Remove this sub-section, as it is unnecessary detail for an album article; album positions should be the only part of the section

Certifications

 * See MOS:TABLECAPTION
 * Again, use templates here and if not, pipe the organizations to the correct articles
 * The only columns should be region, certification and certified units/sales, like any template(s) generates

Book sources

 * Wikilink Chicago Review Press
 * Wikilink Omnibus Press
 * Wikilink HarperCollins
 * Pipe Crown Publishers to Crown Publishing Group

Final comments and verdict

 * until all of the issues are fixed; my main problems are with the references to be honest. --K. Peake 16:34, 28 October 2021 (UTC)


 * I fixed most of the aforementioned issues, save for two.
 * Ref [22] does include the Japanese release date; if you select "1993年4月" from the drop-down menu, you'll get the album certification as well as the original release date. It can also be found here
 * I couldn't find a substitute for ref [13], but since it includes the original Instagram post on which the article is based on, couldn't it be included here?--SilverBullitt (talk) 10:38, 29 October 2021 (UTC)
 * Utilizing unreliable sources like this as references may be acceptable if there's an interview because that establishes notability, but this is not the case so use the original IG post as the source, with the via parameter for Instagram... thanks for responding within a day though and the other ref is fine! --K. Peake 17:18, 29 October 2021 (UTC)
 * Okay, I switched the source to the original IG post.--SilverBullitt (talk) 19:25, 29 October 2021 (UTC)
 * This is looking better, all you need to do is add a caption for the track listing and the charts table that should also not have a sub-section since only weekly ones are included; see my recent GAN Donda for help with the captions. --K. Peake 19:34, 29 October 2021 (UTC)
 * I added the captions, everything should be in order now.--SilverBullitt (talk) 22:59, 29 October 2021 (UTC)
 * ✅ now, this is only two days after my review; well done on your strong job! --K. Peake 17:57, 30 October 2021 (UTC)
 * Thank you for the review!--SilverBullitt (talk) 19:29, 31 October 2021 (UTC)