Talk:Crocodile (Black Mirror)/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: The Rambling Man (talk · contribs) 07:34, 18 March 2021 (UTC)

Comments That's it, not much to do here, so on hold for now. Mia: what a deeply unpleasant character. Reminds me of some users ...!! The Rambling Man (Stay alert! Control the virus! Save lives!&#33;!&#33;) 16:47, 18 March 2021 (UTC)
 * Anthony Welsh has an article now.
 * "Set in Scotland" really? They're driving on the wrong side of the road for that!
 * I actually got this wrong, not sure where the misremembering/miscommunication was. The first draft was set in Scotland but I think it's supposed to be Iceland in the actual thing. I am confused though: Sawar's accent is Scottish and I thought Riseborough's was supposed to be too, and they're speaking in English, not Icelandic. — Bilorv ( talk ) 00:11, 19 March 2021 (UTC)
 * "a Nordic noir" isn't that really an adjective rather than a noun?
 * So just "The episode is Nordic noir" then? I think it is an adjective, yeah. — Bilorv ( talk ) 00:11, 19 March 2021 (UTC)
 * "she never moved on" I'm not keen on this, do you mean she didn't get over it, never recovered from the loss etc? Ah, she still thinks he's alive...
 * I would be more specific but I don't think there's actually enough to say. She never moved on from her physical location and in some emotional sense, but she could think anything between "he's probably dead but I can't accept that" and "I know he's still out there and will come back one day". — Bilorv ( talk ) 00:11, 19 March 2021 (UTC)
 * "He wants to write" it's stronger than that, hence the argument, he states clearly that he is going to write a letter...
 * "she chokes Rob to death" it sounds like she breaks his neck actually.
 * Hmm, something does snap or break, yeah. I've made this change. — Bilorv ( talk ) 00:11, 19 March 2021 (UTC)
 * "who points her to " directs her to?
 * "a beer" a bottle of beer? Or just "beer"?  "a beer" seems a little odd.
 * Probably hard/impossible to avoid, but Mia is used five times in that penultimate plot paragraph.
 * Down to three, hopefully clearer too. — Bilorv ( talk ) 00:11, 19 March 2021 (UTC)
 * "having removed her mask" we didn't know she was wearing one...
 * "outbid .. with a bid" bit repetitive.
 * "12-episode order was divided into two series of six episodes" twelve/six or 12/6.
 * "in the final episode" ?
 * As in, "the finished product". Now "who was later renamed Shazia and played by Kiran Sonia Sawar". — Bilorv ( talk ) 00:11, 19 March 2021 (UTC)
 * "the arcade machine for Space Invaders in mind" hmm, like the symbol that's prevalent in Bandersnatch, the kind of space invader/fork graphic...
 * It reminds me more of the monitor Stefan uses than Space Invaders or anything else in Bandersnatch, but to each their own. — Bilorv ( talk ) 00:11, 19 March 2021 (UTC)
 * "injured half of her ribcage" half? seems like an odd thing to say.  Just injured her ribs would probably suffice.
 * "is an instance of Nordic noir" again, is it an instance of a Nordic noir drama rather than "instance of Nordic noir".
 * "the Recaller. Koebler suggests that" merge to avoid repeat of Koebler. Also two rapid uses of "suggest" here.
 * All fixed, I think, including a self-trout on the Scotland mistake. I'd like to think that any of our Mia-like users wouldn't forget the guinea pig. — Bilorv ( talk ) 00:11, 19 March 2021 (UTC)
 * All is well here, passing. The Rambling Man (Stay alert! Control the virus! Save lives!&#33;!&#33;) 07:14, 19 March 2021 (UTC)