Talk:Crystal Palace, London/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: Folklore1 (talk · contribs) 20:18, 20 September 2013 (UTC)

As I perform the review, I will update the following table. Please look below the table for my questions and comments. Folklore1 (talk) 20:28, 20 September 2013 (UTC)

On hold
I placed the article "on hold" to allow more time for improvements. GA hold periods are normally seven days. If you need more time, please leave a note so that I can extend the hold. Folklore1 (talk) 18:24, 23 September 2013 (UTC)

I have extended the "on hold" period for another seven days to allow time for a few additional improvements. See my notes about Rail. Folklore1 (talk) 14:28, 30 September 2013 (UTC) ✅ Folklore1 (talk) 12:58, 1 October 2013 (UTC)

Lead
I had not previously seen "trial" used as a verb, but the online version of the Oxford English Dictionary cites the past tense of this verb spelled as "trialed" in the United States, and "trialled" in British English. Folklore1 (talk) 00:54, 22 September 2013 (UTC)

The third paragraph of the lead section contains text about rail transportation that is not mentioned in the body of the article, specifically details in the three sentences beginning: If this information is important enough to mention in the lead, I would expect to see more coverage in the body of the article. The purpose of the lead section is intruduce and summarize important aspects of the article. See Manual of Style/Lead section. Folklore1 (talk) 17:57, 23 September 2013 (UTC)
 * "After the palace was destroyed by fire"
 * "Rail services gradually declined"
 * "More recently, rail travel has seen a resurgence"

The information about rail transportation in the third paragraph needs citation to a source. Normally that's not a concern with GA class articles, because the sources will be cited in the body of the article. Folklore1 (talk) 18:05, 23 September 2013 (UTC)


 * After reading the Rail section again, I see it somewhat covers the sentence "After the palace was destroyed by fire" from the lead section. It also provides reference to a source. However, the body of the article still needs more material and reference citations to support the rest of the lead section's third paragraph. Folklore1 (talk) 20:03, 27 September 2013 (UTC)

I've updated the rail body section to cover what is mentioned in the lead section. SheffGruff (talk) 23:47, 29 September 2013 (UTC) ✅

Geography
The weather table in this section uses a bare url to reference an article about "Monthly temperature records by country". This creates a risk of a condition called "link rot": at some point in the future, the publisher discontinues that page or changes address and the reference becomes a "dead link". With just a bare url, we might be unable to track down that source. That's why it's important to list helpful information such as title, work, publisher, author, and publication date. This needs to be corrected for GA status. Folklore1 (talk) 01:58, 22 September 2013 (UTC) ✅ Folklore1 (talk) 20:11, 22 September 2013 (UTC)

The same table also has a couple of references labeled "archived from original". That's only a little better than the bare url. We still have a risk of link rot and this needs to be corrected. Folklore1 (talk) 01:58, 22 September 2013 (UTC) ✅


 * My intention with that table was to include it in the article, but in a collapsed form. The information originally came from the template Template:London weatherbox which is a derivation of the Template:Weather box.  I ended up doing a crude copy and paste job because I couldn't find the correct syntax to pass the "collapsed = true" field to the base weather box through the London weatherbox.  If you or anyone else knows how to do that then it would be much appreciated if you could replace all the existing code with the one-line template.  At that point I could update the reference fields on the template and fix it in multiple locations instead of just this article.  SheffGruff (talk) 13:38, 22 September 2013 (UTC)

Local government
This tables in this section contain a color-coded column. I would guess this represents party affiliations, but I am unfamiliar with the color codes normally associated with political parties in London. An index to identify the color codes would be helpful. Folklore1 (talk) 13:37, 23 September 2013 (UTC) ✅ SheffGruff (talk) 17:34, 23 September 2013 (UTC)

Music
This section has a reference with a dead link. Folklore1 (talk) 15:14, 23 September 2013 (UTC) ✅ SheffGruff (talk) 17:13, 23 September 2013 (UTC)

Sports
Should "12 founder members" be "12 founding members"? Writing style in the USA would generally use "founding" rather than "founder" in this sentence. Folklore1 (talk) 15:39, 23 September 2013 (UTC) ✅
 * Founder member is preferred usage in British English - see: http://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/british/founder-member SheffGruff (talk) 17:45, 23 September 2013 (UTC)

Education
I deleted one of the reference links to "Living in Crystal Palace". Although the two links had pointers to different range names within the cited web page, the range names no longer exist. Folklore1 (talk) 16:01, 23 September 2013 (UTC) ✅

Tram
I added the author name, date, and publication to a reference in this section. These details can be important for verification at a later date, when the url may no longer point to a valid address. Folklore1 (talk) 16:53, 23 September 2013 (UTC) ✅

Rail
This section had entirely too many run-on sentences, making it difficult to read. I broke some of them into two sentences. In the last paragraph of this section, I did somewhat more copy editing to make the text easier to read. Please take a close look it to see if I have altered the meaning in such a way that it would be inaccurate. Folklore1 (talk) 14:06, 30 September 2013 (UTC)
 * It appears to be fine so far as I can tell. SheffGruff (talk) 14:57, 30 September 2013 (UTC) ✅

"Passenger numbers increased each year between 2004 and 2013" is supported by a link to "Estimates of station usage", but the link points to a header page. As I am unfamiliar with this site, it will be difficult for me to find the statisitcs I need for verification. A direct link to the specific page where Crystal Palace rail statistics can be found would be helpful. If a direct link is not possible, please provide some navigating directions so that I can find it. Folklore1 (talk) 14:23, 30 September 2013 (UTC)
 * The statistics are included in the various Excel spreadsheets linked to from that page, e.g. for 2011- 2012 under the heading "Latest estimates of station usage reports and data - 2011-12 report and data" the link is: http://www.rail-reg.gov.uk/upload/xlsx/station_usage_estimates_1112.xlsx If you look at the 2nd worksheet in that document, on line 628 are the statistics for the station of that year, with column U describing total station ticket entries and exits. These are summarised on the station's wiki page infobox here. SheffGruff (talk) 14:46, 30 September 2013 (UTC) ✅