Talk:Crystal Palace Dinosaurs/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: Rosiestep (talk · contribs) 16:23, 11 January 2014 (UTC)

I'll review this in the next couple of days. --Rosiestep (talk) 16:23, 11 January 2014 (UTC)
 * Many thanks. I hope the article is somewhere near your usual high standard. Chiswick Chap (talk) 16:35, 11 January 2014 (UTC)


 * Lead
 * Crystal Palace - it should be wl but doesn't need the single quotation marks.
 * done


 * Hyde Park - it could use a wl, too
 * done


 * References
 * The article has a heavy reliance on McCarthy 1994, published by the Crystal Palace Foundation. Is it possible to condense some of the McCarthy refs, i.e. pp. 46–47 is mentioned twice, etc.?
 * merged ref


 * Could you flesh out these refs: Natural History Museum biographies Richard Owen and the nyder html?
 * done


 * Sayers has a 'page needed' tag. Some of the other books are also missing page numbers, so where possible, they should be added.
 * added URL and chapter (need a print copy for page)


 * Some of the books are missing URLs, etc. even though I found the books online - best to standardize
 * added several


 * The Ann Coates ref lists the author in 'fname lname' order while all the other authors are 'lname fname' - best to standardize.
 * oops, done


 * Sources
 * McCarthy - add URL
 * done


 * Bibliography
 * Kerley - As the book is not mentioned in the References or Sources sections, what role does it have in the writing of the article?
 * rename to Further reading, I haven't used it

Thank you for a very interesting article. More comments later. --Rosiestep (talk) 17:32, 11 January 2014 (UTC)


 * History
 * Single quotation marks - Also occurs unnecessarily in the History section ('tidal', 'launch', 'friends') including within an img caption; as well as in the In literature and popular culture section; and perhaps elsewhere.
 * done


 * Sydenham Hill - wl
 * done


 * "As part of this renovation..." and "To mark the 'launch' of the models..." - add a comma to set off introductory elements.
 * done


 * "first ever" - first-ever
 * done


 * "time-line" - timeline
 * done


 * "The models' realism was aided by the lake at the time being 'tidal' and rising and falling, revealing different amounts of the dinosaurs." - bit clumsy
 * reworded


 * "... and in 1855 the Crystal Palace Company cut Hawkins's funding" and "In 2002 the display..." - add comma after year
 * done


 * "The models and indeed the park fell into disrepair as the years went by..." - indeed may be unnecessary
 * removed


 * tonne - consider adding the Template:Convert for those readers who might not be sure about tonne/ton
 * done


 * "The Institute had..." - which Institute?
 * removed

Forced to simultaneously deal with Saturday morning chores, so more comments later. --Rosiestep (talk) 18:50, 11 January 2014 (UTC)

More

 * The 'Dinosaur Park'
 * Header - rmv quotation marks
 * done


 * Palaeozoic era
 * Coal Measures - wl
 * done


 * Dicynodon - Starting with Dicynodon and continuing through the rest of the article, the various types represented at the park begin with a wl'ed entity, followed by a colon, and then a description. It has the feel of a "list" without bullets/numbering.  I think prose-style would be preferable and it appears to me this would be an easy adjustment.
 * done, hope that still 'works'


 * Mesozoic era
 * "Today..." - WP:REALTIME
 * changed


 * Triassic, Oolite, Teleosaurs - wls
 * done


 * Seals - lc
 * done


 * "They became one of the three 'mascot dinosaurs' along with the Iguanodon and Megalosaurus (although ichthyosaurs are not dinosaurs)." - What's a mascot dinosaur? Add comma before "along".
 * reworded, comma added


 * "Easily the most recognizable and most commonly shown of Hawkins's models are the pair of Iguanodon." - says who?
 * removed


 * "even in 1854 Owen..." - add comma after year
 * done


 * "implausibly flexible" - hyphenate (compound modifier)
 * done


 * 'rock outcrop' - rmv single quotation marks
 * done


 * Cenozoic era
 * "An extinct mammal from the Eocene to Oligocene epochs, first found near Paris." Incomplete sentence
 * fixed


 * Eurasia - wl
 * done


 * "Hawkins built a family unit of male, female and fawn; the adults bore antlers made from actual fossil antlers..." Did the female member also have antlers?
 * added 'male'


 * "children's zoo, now demolished" - Can you clarify if the children's zoo was in the Crystal Palace Park or was there a children's zoo in London which was demolished?
 * clarified inside CPP


 * "The models of Palaeotherium, an extinct Eocene mammal thought by Cuvier to be tapir-like, have suffered the most wear and tear of all of the models, and the standing model no longer looked much like the original model by Hawkins; prior to the 2002 restoration they were in such bad shape they were removed and put into store." bit long
 * split


 * Some sources state that these models were added at a later date, but an Illustrated London News illustration of Hawkins's workshop shows them in the background. - date of Illustrated London News illustration?
 * Jan 1854, added to existing ref.


 * 'Tertiary Islands' - the punct is unnecessary if Tertiary Islands are described earlier in the article.
 * I think we need these.


 * Avoid single sentence paragraphs
 * merged paras


 * In literature and popular culture
 * Four paragraphs start with the word "In". - reword some of them?
 * reworded two


 * "Charles Dickens's 1853 novel Bleak House begins with" - commas to separate the parenthetical
 * added


 * Implacable November weather. - missing open quote mark
 * added


 * "Brett Anderson used the line 'So I went and sat in Crystal Palace, by the plastic dinosaurs' on his solo track To The Winter, from his 2007 self-titled album." Switch to double quote mark for the quote. Add comma preceding the parenthetical To The Winter.
 * done


 * Avoid single sentence paragraphs
 * merged paras


 * Categories
 * Bromley is mentioned twice in the cats. Is it worth mentioning somewhere in the article?
 * It's really just the modern administrative borough; added

Thank you for an interesting article! If you need more than a day or two to sort through the suggestions, I'll put it on hold. --Rosiestep (talk) 21:33, 11 January 2014 (UTC)

GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria


 * 1) Is it reasonably well written?
 * A. Prose quality:
 * B. MoS compliance:
 * 1) Is it factually accurate and verifiable?
 * A. References to sources:
 * B. Citation of reliable sources where necessary:
 * C. No original research:
 * 1) Is it broad in its coverage?
 * A. Major aspects:
 * B. Focused:
 * 1) Is it neutral?
 * Fair representation without bias:
 * 1) Is it stable?
 * No edit wars, etc:
 * 1) Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
 * A. Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have fair use rationales:
 * B. Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with suitable captions:
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass or Fail:

Great job! It has been my pleasure to read the article and to provide the review. --Rosiestep (talk) 01:58, 12 January 2014 (UTC)
 * Many thanks for a speedy and thorough review! Chiswick Chap (talk) 08:16, 12 January 2014 (UTC)

@Chiswick Chap - Just spotted a few very minor further things. Perhaps you'd consider them:
 * Removing citations from the Lead
 * Done


 * Moving the remaining books from References to Sources
 * They aren't really sources, each being used only once. Think they're probably best where they are. All the best, Chiswick Chap (talk) 19:37, 12 January 2014 (UTC)

Thanks. --Rosiestep (talk) 18:13, 12 January 2014 (UTC)