Talk:Cunard Building (New York City)/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Vami IV (talk · contribs) 08:55, 5 April 2020 (UTC)

Opening statement
In reviews I conduct, I may make small copyedits. These will only be limited to spelling and punctuation (removal of double spaces and such). I will only make substantive edits that change the flow and structure of the prose if I previously suggested and it is necessary. For replying to Reviewer comment, please use ✅,, , ❌, , or , followed by any comment you'd like to make. I will be crossing out my comments as they are redressed, and only mine. A detailed, section-by-section review will follow. — ♠Vami _IV†♠  08:55, 5 April 2020 (UTC)

Ah, it is a good feeling to be back in early 20th century New York. – ♠Vami _IV†♠  08:55, 5 April 2020 (UTC)

Lead

 * the Cunard Line, a British-American steamship line; Condense.

Description

 * Broadway to the east Link to the Broadway's article?
 * ✅ Pretty major omission by me. epicgenius (talk) 15:41, 5 April 2020 (UTC)
 * though the name also came to refer to nearby structures.[a] This should have an in-line citation, in addition to the footnote.
 * "Form" is upside down. Give the what, so a discussion of the building, currently Paragraph 2, and then the why, currently Paragraph 1, and condense the two into one if possible.
 * I reversed the order of the paragraphs, but for readability, I still have them as two paragraphs. epicgenius (talk) 15:41, 5 April 2020 (UTC)
 * Excellent, works great just flipped around. – ♠Vami _IV†♠  16:15, 5 April 2020 (UTC)
 * making Cunard Building
 * Repeated citation: bronze medallions.[24] The walls are also made of travertine; there is a fireplace on the southern wall and a roll-down gate and doors on the northern wall.[24]
 * [24] repeated again here: Jennewein.[24] Wrought-iron screens topped by lunette grilles, designed by Samuel Yellin, separate the passageway from both the lobby to the east and the Great Hall to the west.[24]
 * lunette grilles, designed by Samuel Yellin Remove this second link to Mr. Yellin.
 * [24] repeated again here: Jennewein.[24] Wrought-iron screens topped by lunette grilles, designed by Samuel Yellin, separate the passageway from both the lobby to the east and the Great Hall to the west.[24]
 * lunette grilles, designed by Samuel Yellin Remove this second link to Mr. Yellin.
 * lunette grilles, designed by Samuel Yellin Remove this second link to Mr. Yellin.
 * lunette grilles, designed by Samuel Yellin Remove this second link to Mr. Yellin.

History

 * In 1846, the future site of the Cunard Building Shorten this to just "the site".
 * and Stevens House
 * , I guess. I put "the Stevens House". epicgenius (talk) 15:41, 5 April 2020 (UTC)
 * vice president Aaron Burr's old house By the 1910s, that is indeed an old house.
 * Yes, it is. Though I can't repeat "former" twice in the same sentence, so I reworded it too. epicgenius (talk) 15:41, 5 April 2020 (UTC)
 * One New York Times writer lamented that the plans would involve the destruction of the Stevens House, described as "the last quaint landmark standing as an interesting connecting link between" historic and modern New York City. Are the last six words here not included in the original quotation?
 * Yes, they are not included. The actual quote is "the last quaint landmark standing as an interesting connecting link between the New York of simpler days and the towering structures of commercial industry which characterize its modern life". epicgenius (talk) 15:41, 5 April 2020 (UTC)
 * The building's owners were given a loan of $8 million in 1930,[53] and another $2.82 million in 1944.[54][55] Why did the building's owners take out these loans?
 * ✅ Added. epicgenius (talk) 15:41, 5 April 2020 (UTC)
 * one of the largest such retrofits in an existing structure. In New York? The United States? The World?
 * ✅ In the city. epicgenius (talk) 15:41, 5 April 2020 (UTC)
 * were formally designated as New York City landmarks. historic landmarks?
 * Yes, officially designated landmarks, but the official title is just New York City Landmark. "Historic" is not in the name of the landmark designation, so I have not included it. If this were the case, I'd have to change the wording in two of the other GANs you're reviewing (26 Broadway and IMMC Building). epicgenius (talk) 15:41, 5 April 2020 (UTC)
 * Gotcha. Rescinding this bullet-point. – ♠Vami _IV†♠  16:20, 5 April 2020 (UTC)
 * Gotcha. Rescinding this bullet-point. – ♠Vami _IV†♠  16:20, 5 April 2020 (UTC)

GA progress
Thanks for the review. I have addressed all your comments above. epicgenius (talk) 15:41, 5 April 2020 (UTC)