Talk:Cups (song)/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: K. Peake (talk · contribs) 17:54, 2 September 2020 (UTC)

Fulfilling your request and taking this on for review! --K. Peake 17:54, 2 September 2020 (UTC)

Infobox and lead

 * Target More From Pitch Perfect to Pitch Perfect (soundtrack)
 * Recording date is unsourced
 * ❌ I do not see this sourced anywhere in the body and also, remove the release ref from the infobox --K. Peake 06:38, 6 September 2020 (UTC)


 * Remove venue parameter as that is for live recordings
 * Target Folk pop to Folk-pop
 * Remove hlist from the infobox
 * UMe → UME
 * ""Cups" is a version" → ""Cups" is a song by Anna Kendrick from the soundtrack EP, More From Pitch Perfect (2013). The song is a version" with the appropriate target
 * "It was usually performed" → "The original version was usually performed"
 * I am confused about the "It was first performed in a YouTube video..." sentence, since the body not only does not say the collective performed it for YouTube but there is no mention of the title instated here. Fix these issues, please?

Kyle Peake It is mentioned in the body. → "Lulu and the Lampshades were the first to perform the song using the cup game for percussion. They used the cup clap for percussion." The Ultimate Boss (talk) 02:57, 4 September 2020 (UTC)
 * Good to see you're beginning to reply; the song is mentioned in the body, but it being for YouTube is not nor is the alt title. --K. Peake 05:28, 4 September 2020 (UTC)


 * "and Heloise Tunstall-Behrens as Lulu and The Lampshades in" → "and Heloise Tunstall-Behrens, as Lulu and The Lampshades, in"
 * "under the title "You're Gonna Miss Me"" → "and entitled "You're Gonna Miss Me"."
 * "The song became popular after it was performed by Anna Kendrick" → "The original became popular after Kendrick performed her version"
 * "the 2012 film Pitch Perfect." → "the musical comedy film, Pitch Perfect (2012)."
 * Add a sentence writing: "The song was released for..." as the last one of the opening para
 * ❌ since "was released for was released" is obviously incorrect repetition and this should be the first para's last sentence --K. Peake 06:38, 6 September 2020 (UTC)


 * "A folk pop track, "Cups (When I'm Gone)" received" → "A folk pop track, "Cups (When I'm Gone)" features an alternate string arrangement. The song received" with the target
 * "from critics," → "from music critics,"
 * "The song was commercially successful," → "It was commercially successful,"
 * "becoming Kendrick's first top-ten hit" → "giving Kendrick her first top 10 hit"
 * You should also mention that it reached the top 20 of Canada and the Netherlands
 * "It has also received several" → "The song has since received several"
 * "including a triple platinum certification from the" → "including being certified triple platinum by the"
 * Are you sure a live performance or multiple ones shouldn't be mentioned in the lead?

Kyle Peake, Kendick didn't perform the song that much. There are only two sources I could find where she performed the song. The Ultimate Boss (talk) 02:57, 4 September 2020 (UTC)
 * I can see that, but maybe mention the performance for Fallon since that was on a relatively notable show? --K. Peake 05:28, 4 September 2020 (UTC)


 * "The song's music video was" → "An accompanying music video was released in April 2013 and" with the appropriate wikilink
 * "by Pitch Perfect's director Jason Moore, which depicts" → "by the film's director Jason Moore, and the video depicts" since stating "and it depicts" would sound confusing with the film mentioned recently
 * "wanting to leave her job and wanting to travel the world." this does not seem to be what the video depicts after reading that section in full just now; it says the job was of her imagination and also that she was looking at postcards across the world, could you edit this lead description to a more accurate one?

Kyle Peake, the job wasn't fake, it was Kendrick imagining everyone in the diner drumming their cups while she sings. The Ultimate Boss (talk) 02:57, 4 September 2020 (UTC)
 * Yeah my bad for not changing my statement after a read through, though the text in the lead still is not accurate; reword to something else? --K. Peake 05:28, 4 September 2020 (UTC)

Background and composition

 * "song "When I'm Gone", was written" → "song, "When I'm Gone", was written"
 * "which then recorded in 1931" → "while later recorded in 1931"
 * Carter Family should be wikilinked instead since it is currently redirecting with the target
 * "as a "appalachian" → "as an "appalachian" with the target
 * "Over the years it has been recorded by many people," → "Over the years, the original has been recorded by many artists,"
 * "to perform the song using the cup game for percussion." → "to use the cup game for percussion when performing the song." since this is more specific
 * You should continue this sentence by mentioning the title and that it was uploaded to YouTube
 * "made her own version and was" → "recorded her own version, which was"
 * Burden's version is not backed up by [3]; the comments are an unreliable source of information so do not use them for citing anything
 * "They used the cup clap..." this reads fine but doesn't it belong with the info about Lulu and the Lampshades
 * "The video went viral" → "Lulu and the Lampshades' video went viral" with the target
 * "making other musicians to record" → "leading to other musicians recording"
 * "using the Cup Clap technique." → "that used the Cup Clap technique."
 * "It was soon dubbed" → "It was soon referred to as"
 * Remove wikilink on Anna Kendrick
 * "a cover of "Cups" called" → "a cover version of "Cups", titled"
 * "in the 2012 film" → "in the 2012 American musical comedy film"
 * The first two sentences are not properly backed up the YouTube ref since it says nothing about the title and does not instate that the film was the song's first introduction
 * "In the movie, it is performed" → "In the movie, the song is performed"
 * "Beca Mitchell (Anna Kendrick) during" → "Beca Mitchell (Anna Kendrick), during"
 * "Prior to the single's release," this sentence is not backed up by the ref, since it was the video that went viral and literally no tutorials are mentioned
 * "The composition of the song" → "The composition of "Cups (When I'm Gone)""
 * Remove wikilink on A. P. Carter
 * ""Cups (When I'm Gone)" was first released on" → "The song was initially released on"
 * "on Pitch Perfect soundtrack and was only 76 seconds long." → "as part of the soundtrack for Pitch Perfect, with a length of 76 seconds"
 * "When the song was later remixed it was released as the lead single on the EP More from Pitch Perfect, on March 26, 2013, for digital download and streaming through" → "A remix version of "Cups (When I'm Gone)" was released for digital download and streaming as More from Pitch Perfect's lead single on March 26, 2013, through"
 * [6][7] should not be spaced out
 * "sent to radio and DJ." → "also sent to radio stations and DJs." with the wikilink fixes
 * "she taught herself how to play the cup song." → "that she taught herself how to play the cup song:"
 * Remove wikilink on Reddit
 * "When Kendrick was being interviewed on" → "When being interviewed on"
 * "she told Jimmy Fallon she" → "Kendrick told Jimmy Fallon she"
 * "with Beca's "Cups" audition." → "with Mitchell's "Cups" audition."
 * "The producers of Pitch Perfect" → "The producers of the film"
 * "going to make Kendrick's character, Beca, perform" → "going to make the Mitchell character perform"
 * Add release year of the nursery rhyme in brackets
 * "during her audition." → "for her audition."
 * "Kendrick would later introduced "Cups" to the producers and performed it" → "Kendrick later introduced "Cups" to the producers, which was previously unused, and she performed it"
 * "They ended up being so impressed" → "Due to being heavily impressed"
 * "Kendrick's "Cups" performance," → "Kendrick's performance of the song,"
 * "write it into the script." → "write it into the audition's script."
 * "it would end up in the film." → "the song would be used for Pitch Perfect."
 * Target folk pop to Folk-pop
 * "The remixed version has" → "The remix version of the song has"
 * Target bridge to Bridge (music)
 * "also had folk pop string arrangement added." → "also features folk pop string arrangement."
 * The last two sentences are not backed up by [6]; add source(s) since this info is definitely notable
 * "and remixed with additional instrumentation" → "and remixed, with the version containing additional instrumentation"
 * "Jordan Yaeger and" → "Jordan Yaeger, and"

✅

Critical reception

 * "received mainly positive reviews from music critics." → "was met with mainly positive reviews from music critics."
 * "saying "Anna Kendrick" → "saying: "Anna Kendrick"
 * "Mile Raymer writing for the Chicago Reader commented" → "Mile Raymer, writing for the Chicago Reader, commented"
 * "while he "appreciated" → "he does "appreciate"
 * "itself" he was said the state of having a "song" → "itself," while saying "the state of having a song"
 * Target Hot 100 to Billboard Hot 100
 * Huffpost → HuffPost
 * "labeled the song "one" → "labeled the song's usage as "[o]ne"
 * Pitch Perfect should be italicised
 * "Drew Taylor writing for Indie Wire described" → "Drew Taylor, writing for Indie Wire, described"
 * "Nicholas Howe writing for" → "Nicholas Howe of"
 * "saying "you couldn’t" → "saying that "you couldn't"
 * "Josh Kurp writing for Uproxx stated" → "Josh Kurp, for Uproxx, stated that"
 * Digital Spy should not be italicised
 * "a positive review saying," → "a positive review, saying,"
 * Wikilink music video
 * "we're huge losers"." → "we're huge losers.""
 * "magazined called" → "magazine called"
 * "mentioned how they were" → "mentioned how she was"
 * "cup coordination skills."" → "cup coordination skills"."
 * "Jeff Benjamin of Fuse magazine cited" → "Jeff Benjamin from the channel Fuse cited"
 * "Kendrick's audition as Beca," → "Kendrick's audition as Mitchell,"
 * "Stacy Lambe writing for Entertainment Tonight preferred the film version" → "Stacy Lambe, for Entertainment Tonight, preferred the film version of the song"
 * ❌ as it should be "for" not "writing for" --K. Peake 06:38, 6 September 2020 (UTC)


 * "saying it became" → "saying "Cups (When I'm Gone)" became"
 * "during Beca’s audition" → "during Beca's audition"

✅

Chart performance

 * Retitle to Commercial performance
 * "the song debuted at number 93 on the" → ""Cups (When I'm Gone)" debuted at number 93 on the US"
 * Remove target on Billboard Hot 100
 * "were from to digital sales, 31% were" → "were from digital sales, while 31 percent came" per MOS:NUM
 * ❌ --K. Peake 06:38, 6 September 2020 (UTC)


 * "and 0% was from" → "and 0 percent from"
 * ❌ --K. Peake 06:38, 6 September 2020 (UTC)


 * "began to ascent up the chart, "Cups (When I'm Gone)" reaches reached" → "began to ascend up the chart; the song reached"
 * "21st week on the chart," → "21st week on the Hot 100,"
 * "in its 28th week, earning Kendrick her first top ten" → "in its 28th week on the chart, earning Kendrick her first top 10" per MOS:NUM
 * "the fourth-longest rising to the top 10" → "the 4th-longest rise to the top 10" per MOS:NUM on comparative values
 * "in the Billboard's Hot 100 55-year history, Kendrick" → "in the Hot 100's 55-year history; Kendrick"
 * Add release years of the three songs in brackets
 * "and Faith Hill's" → "and Faith Hill's singles,"
 * "Underwood and Hill reached the top 10..." remove, as this lacks focus
 * Start the sentence at ""Cups (When I'm Gone)" had reached the top 10" with the implemented change
 * "to increasing sales in pop" → "to an increase in sales, as well as pop"
 * "interest when it" → "interest, when it"
 * "the song reached number 6, its highest peak position to date." → "the song peaked at number six."
 * "downloads in the United States." → "downloads in the US."
 * "to "Cups (When I'm Gone)" topping the charts in August 2013 on" → to the chart success of "Cups (When I'm Gone)" in August 2013 with" since it is not neutral to write "topping" when the song did not do that on the Hot 100; remember, everything does not need to be directly quoted from source(s)
 * ❌ --K. Peake 06:38, 6 September 2020 (UTC)


 * "at number 40 after Republic Records" → "at number 40, after Republic Records"
 * "remixed version of" → "remix version of"
 * "Republic senior VP/radio and" → Around the same time, Republic senior VP/radio and"
 * Pitch Perfect should be italicised
 * "a part of it"." → "a part of it.""
 * "to number nine" → "to number 9"
 * "during the week of" → "for the week of"
 * "on the Adult Top 40." → "on the chart."
 * ❌ --K. Peake 06:38, 6 September 2020 (UTC)


 * Target Adult Contemporary to Adult contemporary music
 * "Kendrick's first number one hit on any" → "Kendrick's first track to top any" since "number one" is repetitive
 * ❌ as the word "on" is not needed in the context you have added it --K. Peake 06:38, 6 September 2020 (UTC)


 * "on the Adult Contemporary since the Lumineers topped" → "on the Adult Contemporary chart after the Lumineers topped"
 * "there hit single" → "their hit single"
 * Add release year of the single in brackets
 * "began during the week of May 4, 2013." → "held the position since the week of May 4, 2013."
 * "She's also the first female to do so" → "She also became the first female artist to top the Adult Contemporary chart"
 * Add release year of Cyrus' single in brackets
 * Are you sure it should be noted how long her single was number one or does that lack focus?

Kyle Peake, it should be noted because it is notable. The Ultimate Boss (talk) 18:05, 4 September 2020 (UTC)
 * But what makes it notable is the question, since that info is about another songs reign at number one not this one? --K. Peake 18:16, 4 September 2020 (UTC)


 * "received a triple-platinum certification by" → "was certified triple platinum by"
 * "which denotes track-equivalent sales of 2,500,000 units based" → "denoting track-equivalent sales of 3,000,000 units in the US, based"
 * "outside of the United States." → "outside of the US."
 * The third para is ordered incorrectly; Canada should be first, then the United Kingdom, then Australia since that is how you do this section geographically after the US
 * ❌ as I meant that Canada and the other two come after the "moderately successful" sentence --K. Peake 06:38, 6 September 2020 (UTC)


 * "number 44 on the ARIA." → "number 44 on the ARIA Singles Chart."
 * "for sales of over 70,000 digital copies." → "for shipments of over 70,000 copies in the country."
 * "during the week of" → "for the week of"
 * "The song was more successful in Canada," → ""Cups (When I'm Gone)" experienced similar success in Canada,"

✅, with a few changes.

Music video

 * Gif looks good
 * "that a music video for" → "that the music video for"
 * This is not backed up by the Billboard ref so cite one that shows it was via her Instagram and maybe add a date of when?
 * ❌ since Insta as a direct source is not considered reliable --K. Peake 07:31, 6 September 2020 (UTC)


 * ""#coveredinflour". She posted" → ""#coveredinflour", posting"
 * "The song's music video was directed" → "The music video was directed"
 * "on Anna Kendrick's Youtube channel." → "via Kendrick's YouTube channel." with the wikilink
 * The following sentence should begin the second para instead; move it to the very top of the one that is currently there
 * "in a restaurant's kitchen" → "in a restaurant's kitchen,"
 * [35] does not back up the info unless the flash player video does since mine is disabled?
 * "She dusts her hands off" → "She then dusts her hands off"
 * "and staring at the plastic cup" → "staring at the plastic cup"
 * The above two sentences have no citation(s) to back them up
 * "on the table. She then starts" → "on the table, which is followed by her starting"
 * This actually was ✅ The Ultimate Boss (talk) 05:57, 7 September 2020 (UTC)
 * This actually was ✅ The Ultimate Boss (talk) 05:57, 7 September 2020 (UTC)

✅
 * [36] does not back up the info properly
 * "as she takes a plate" → "while taking a plate"
 * "and walks out into" → "and walking out into"
 * [37] again not backing up correctly
 * "then follows her around" → "then follows Kendrick around"
 * "and collecting dirty dishes" → "as well as collecting dirty dishes"
 * "before the camera shoots" → "before it shoots"
 * "doing the routine during the bridge section." → "performing the routine during the bridge section of the song."
 * "cuts back to her walking back" → "cuts back to her, with Kendrick walking back"
 * "the kitchen, passing the chef" → "the kitchen and passing the chef,"
 * "sings one last time before" → "sings one last time, before"
 * "The song ends and Kendrick" → "Once "Cups (When I'm Gone)" ends, Kendrick"
 * "all her imagination. She takes one" → "all her imagination and takes one"
 * "The music video was positively..." remove this sentence since there is only two reviews
 * "John Boone writing for E! magazine commended the visual" → "John Boone from E! Online commended the music video"
 * "saying "Anna Kendrick" → "saying: "Anna Kendrick"
 * "diner in flip cup"." → "diner in flip cup.""
 * I did point this out multiple times as you can see above, but I stopped after doing it for a noticeable amount since it is appropriate to state at the end of the section; a lot of the info is not backed up by the following refs, though please inform me if I have misread something or not clicked on something I should have.

Live performances and other usage

 * "and The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon." → "and The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon in 2012 and 2017, respectively."
 * "In December of 2013, 1,500 Canadian students performed" → "In December 2013, 1,500 Canadian students performed a cover version of"
 * "includes kids drumming the cup" → "included kids drumming the cup"
 * "Setting a new world record with the performance, Heigl described" → "A new world record was set by the performance, while Heigl described"
 * "and from" → "who is from"
 * "Joel Landau writing for the New York Daily News" → "Joel Landau, writing for the New York Daily News,"
 * "on the song"" → "on the song"."
 * "a cover of the track to Youtube." → "a cover version of the track to YouTube."
 * Should Hi Chaal Turu Turu be in speech marks?
 * "The song would become an" → "The cover would become an"
 * "Manali Shah of..." this sentence belongs in the first para since it is about that cover and the second para should begin exactly with the sentence after this one
 * "describing Palkar has a" → "describing Palkar as having a"
 * "and that the cover has a" → "and commenting that the cover has a"
 * "the track on an" → "the track in an"
 * ❌ --K. Peake 07:31, 6 September 2020 (UTC)

✅
 * Remove PopSugar per WP:RSSM and try to replace it for backing up the first sentence out of the two it is used for
 * "In October 2016, American actor Ben Affleck sang "Cups (When I'm Gone)" for Kendrick during an interview with MTV." → "During an October 2016 interview with MTV, American actor Ben Affleck sang "Cups (When I'm Gone)" for Kendrick."
 * Remove wikilink on Pakastani
 * "actress Hania Amir, covered "Cups (When I'm Gone)"." → "actress Hania Amir covered the song."
 * "played the song a golden cup" → "played a golden cup for the song"
 * "how similar it sounded to the original. They conclude calling the cover" → "how similar the cover sounded to the original and concluded by calling it"

Charts
✅
 * Move these apart by using the col template

Weekly charts

 * Use the up to date formatting here; see "Can't Tell Me Nothing" for example
 * See MOS:TABLECAPTION
 * A lot of these aren't displaying the positions from search; change the song to Cups (Pitch Perfect's "When I'm Gone") in the formatting since that is what the ARIA, Dutch charts, etc. list it as
 * ❌ I understand that putting Cups (Pitch Perfect's "When I'm Gone")	in the song part of the formatting does not work; even though putting Cups (Pitch Perfect's When I'm Gone) displays no results too, place this since it is the closest you can do since citing the artist directly is not working --K. Peake 07:31, 6 September 2020 (UTC)

✅

Year-end charts

 * See MOS:TABLECAPTION
 * US Adult Pop Songs → US Adult Top 40, for consistency
 * US Pop Songs → US Mainstream Top 40
 * The 2014 chart should have a separate table so people do not get confused who are trying to sort the positions from the other year if this one is in the table with them
 * ❌ why did you remove this?

user:Kyle Peake doesn't want to work... The Ultimate Boss (talk) 05:58, 7 September 2020 (UTC)
 * For the year-end 2014 chart, this appears to work. --K. Peake 06:09, 7 September 2020 (UTC)

✅

Certifications

 * The NZ certification is not backed up by the ref provided
 * You can keep 2,500,000 as the figure here, though add the ref to back it up since there is one that states it had that many downloads in the US

Kyle Peake, no source for this... The Ultimate Boss (talk) 00:41, 5 September 2020 (UTC)
 * "By October 2013, all versions of the song had sold 2.5 million downloads in the US.[24]" You can cite [24] here as well. --K. Peake 05:07, 5 September 2020 (UTC)
 * ❌ --K. Peake 07:31, 6 September 2020 (UTC)

✅
 * Since May 2013 RIAA certifications → Since May 2013, RIAA certifications

Final comments and verdict

 * as it is a pleasure to work with you once again, but this article is quite messy as I noticed throughout though I have faith in you making these fixes. However, remember that you go through everything I mentioned! --K. Peake 18:24, 3 September 2020 (UTC)

Kyle Peake, all of the issues should be addressed! The Ultimate Boss (talk) 06:16, 5 September 2020 (UTC)
 * I have noticed a number of the points are unaddressed, should I point out which? --K. Peake 13:45, 5 September 2020 (UTC)

Kyle Peake, yes please The Ultimate Boss (talk) 13:51, 5 September 2020 (UTC)
 * Have done so accordingly, see above --K. Peake 07:31, 6 September 2020 (UTC)

Kyle Peake, how does it look now? The Ultimate Boss (talk) 19:29, 7 September 2020 (UTC)
 * This is mostly fine now; the only issue is that ref 3 is missing an archive URL since with my instructions I meant that you should include both the original and archive URLs for it, not just the original. --K. Peake 08:14, 8 September 2020 (UTC)

Kyle Peake, I found the original website, and it still works :D The Ultimate Boss (talk) 23:06, 8 September 2020 (UTC)
 * You still need to add an archive, as this is commonly done on Wiki since the pages may die at a future date. --K. Peake 07:38, 9 September 2020 (UTC)

Kyle Peake Done :D The Ultimate Boss (talk) 16:43, 9 September 2020 (UTC)
 * Nice catch there, ✅ time now! --K. Peake 07:41, 10 September 2020 (UTC)