Talk:Cybermorph/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Sammi Brie (talk · contribs) 03:50, 24 August 2023 (UTC)

Copy changes and questions about a few references. Sammi Brie (she/her • t • c) 17:28, 24 August 2023 (UTC)

Lead

 * whose regenerative robotic technology become entrenched into them Entrenched into...the planets?
 * ✅ -- Corrected the sentence. Roberth Martinez (talk) 21:40, 24 August 2023 (UTC)

Gameplay

 * The resistance developed new weapons to overthrow the Pernitia empire, but were intercepted and placed into pods scattered throughout various planets. Remove comma. User:Sammi Brie/Commas in sentences (CinS)
 * ✅ -- Removed comma. Roberth Martinez (talk) 21:40, 24 August 2023 (UTC)


 * employing similar technology used by the empire missing a "to that" after "technology"
 * ✅ -- Corrected the sentence. Roberth Martinez (talk) 21:40, 24 August 2023 (UTC)


 * usable in planetary surface "in" -> "on the"?
 * ✅ -- Corrected the sentence. Roberth Martinez (talk) 21:40, 24 August 2023 (UTC)


 * obstacles such as antimatter vortex towers that destroys pods should be "pods" plural
 * ✅ -- Corrected the sentence. Roberth Martinez (talk) 21:40, 24 August 2023 (UTC)

Development

 * Be consistent on your use or non-use of serial commas. (It might help to standardize your English and run a date script, on a related note.)
 * ✅ -- Corrected the sentences. Roberth Martinez (talk) 21:45, 24 August 2023 (UTC)


 * propietary should be "proprietary"
 * ✅ -- Corrected the sentences. Roberth Martinez (talk) 21:45, 24 August 2023 (UTC)


 * Patten stated that bringing the testing team to design the game resulted in a lot of work, but felt that by doing so resulted in making Cybermorph a "much better game in the long run"
 * Remove comma (CinS)
 * Remove "by"
 * ✅ -- Corrected the sentence. Roberth Martinez (talk) 21:45, 24 August 2023 (UTC)


 * Wikilink Z-buffering and Motorola 68000
 * runs between runs between oops. I'd also do "6,000" with a comma.
 * ✅ -- Corrected the sentence. Roberth Martinez (talk) 21:45, 24 August 2023 (UTC)


 * a workaround and integrate the fix — integration of?
 * ✅ -- Corrected the sentence. Roberth Martinez (talk) 21:45, 24 August 2023 (UTC)

Release

 * Trevor McFur in the Crescent Galaxy was initially slated to be the pack-in game, until Atari chose Cybermorph instead. Remove comma (CinS)
 * ✅ -- Removed the comma. Roberth Martinez (talk) 21:54, 24 August 2023 (UTC)


 * "Less voice samples" should be "fewer"
 * ✅ -- Corrected the sentence. Roberth Martinez (talk) 21:54, 24 August 2023 (UTC)


 * which took Attention to Detail (ATD) approximately No need for the duplicate link and acronym recitation. You use the link and acronym on the first mention in the lead, if the lead uses the acronym, and the first mention in the body.
 * ✅ -- Removed the link and acronym. Roberth Martinez (talk) 21:54, 24 August 2023 (UTC)

Reception

 * Slaven found the game's flat-shaded environments devoid of features, and deemed its sound effects and voiceovers to be outdated. Remove comma (CinS)
 * ✅ -- Removed the comma. Roberth Martinez (talk) 21:54, 24 August 2023 (UTC)


 * Should be "Times's" per MOS:'S
 * ✅ -- Roberth Martinez (talk) 21:54, 24 August 2023 (UTC)


 * Nils Nils and Christian Roth of German website neXGam highlighted Skylar's voiceovers and overall length of the game, but criticized the visuals for their short draw distance and sluggish action. Remove comma (CinS)
 * ✅ -- Removed the comma. Roberth Martinez (talk) 21:54, 24 August 2023 (UTC)

Legacy

 * by Attention to Detail (ATD) Drop the acronym recitation.
 * ✅ -- Removed the acronym. Roberth Martinez (talk) 21:54, 24 August 2023 (UTC)


 * The staff wanted to make a follow-up and implement ideas they were not able to include in the original game, while also using techniques they learned late during development of Cybermorph to improve the overall experience. Remove comma (CinS)
 * ✅ -- Removed the comma. Roberth Martinez (talk) 21:54, 24 August 2023 (UTC)


 * In 2008, the source code of Cybermorph... This section and beyond should be a separate paragraph, not related to Battlemorph.
 * ✅ -- I separated the paragraphs. Roberth Martinez (talk) 21:54, 24 August 2023 (UTC)

Spot checks

 * Reference [52] has a CS1 error with the work parameter. The title of the work, The Video Game Bible, is missing.
 * ✅ -- Corrected the issue. Roberth Martinez (talk) 22:10, 24 August 2023 (UTC)


 * What makes references 20 (Kickstarter), 24, 28, and 29 reliable?
 * OK so, i'll explain what the sources in question are and why i used them in the article: 1) The Kickstarter reference #20 is the only source (AFAIK) that mentions who was the person who portrayed Skylar, which was the wife of the game's composer David Lowe (Victoria Lowe). 2) The reference #24 is a video interview with Sean Patten (one of the game's co-level designer and co-playtester) conduted by the person that uploaded the video, who attended SCES 1994 where he was demonstrating Iron Soldier (a game which Patten served as producer). 3) The reference #28 is a video recorded by an attendee who went to Atari's press conference held in 1993, where the game was shown for the very first time. I used it alongside the VideoGames magazine reference to confirm that it was the same event showcased in the video. 4) The reference #29 is a video featuring a much earlier version of the game, seen in a promotional recording sent by Atari to video game retail stores. I could not find the name of that VHS where it was featured, but the idea i had when using the video was to use it as a situational reference until i can find the name of the VHS magazine where it was shown. Nevertheless, i can remove it if you want... Roberth Martinez (talk) 22:10, 24 August 2023 (UTC)
 * @KGRAMR I can't verify [20]: the link is dead in the Internet Archive, and my browser won't open it because of badware risks. You will need to find a different source for the information it was used for. [24], [28], and [29] make more sense now. Sammi Brie  (she/her • t • c) 17:27, 25 August 2023 (UTC)
 * I tried finding another source to verify her name but to no avail. Therefore, i decided to remove the Kickstarter source. I think that's all with the page, right? Roberth Martinez (talk) 21:17, 25 August 2023 (UTC)


 * 15: Interview with Faran Thomason in which he discusses his role in the project. When Cybermorph showed up in the US Atari offices it was very basic, just the ship flying through a rudimentary landscape in all its Gauroud shaded glory. and ATD had a rudimentary editor we would plot out the terrain and enemies and they would implement. I think at this time the ATD coders were onsite at Atari making the process easier. It was an all hands on deck type of thing we would be testing doing some design for all of the launch titles simultaneously and pulled more than a few all-nighter’s. ✅
 * 25: Cybermorph mentioned by Other Stuff as one of the games currently in development after the press conference. ✅
 * 37: CVG review, 79/100 score. Review notes the game as repetitive; praises the shaded terrain; comparisons to Star Fox (here as Star Wing as this is a European publication); poor sound. ✅
 * 53: Atari Times review. Defender-type pod gameplay; general praise for graphics, sound, and controls. ✅
 * 55: (through Google Translate) Also technically and graphically the game makes an immature impression. On the one hand we move through simple, monochrome shaded polygon worlds, which often only differ from each other in their coloring. The view range is ridiculously small, so mountains or buildings are constantly appearing out of nowhere. Also mentions the lack of variety. ✅
 * 63: Jaguar Sector II website. Not sure how to appraise this source; a little help?
 * OK, i'll explain what Jaguar Sector II is: Jaguar Sector II was a website similar to Planet Virtual Boy (a website dedicated to the Virtual Boy) but dedicated to the Atari Jaguar instead where they had their own databases for games and their release dates, plus dates of their own self-funded releases such as the DVD video. Roberth Martinez (talk) 22:10, 24 August 2023 (UTC)
 * @KGRAMR Last issue: I am not seeing a mention of 2008 in there. The other reference [62] appears to be expired and domain usurped for badware (and archive.today will not load for technical reasons). Sammi Brie  (she/her • t • c) 23:04, 25 August 2023 (UTC)
 * Here's a link to reference #62. It's a preview about the game AVGN Adventures containing the Cybermorph paragraph: https://web.archive.org/web/20210620151522/https://www.destructoid.com/angry-video-game-nerd-adventures-isnt-a-shtload-of-fck/ Roberth Martinez (talk) 23:12, 25 August 2023 (UTC)
 * My bad, the references were shuffled a bit, @KGRAMR. It's now ref #60. Sammi Brie  (she/her • t • c) 23:23, 25 August 2023 (UTC)
 * Huh, that's weird. I click on this link (https://archive.ph/20130629025431/http://www.jaguarsector.com/index.php?autocom=ibwiki&cmd=article&do=print_article&id=379) and i see the page just fine. That's very odd... Roberth Martinez (talk) 23:28, 25 August 2023 (UTC)
 * Got it on my phone. We are good to go. Sammi Brie  (she/her • t • c) 23:36, 25 August 2023 (UTC)

Images

 * There are three images. Two are fair use, the cover art and a typical gameplay sample, with appropriate NFUR. We also have a CC-BY-SA 3.0 photo of the Jaguar with controller. Encouragement: Add alt text.
 * ✅ -- Added alt text. Roberth Martinez (talk) 22:32, 24 August 2023 (UTC)
 * I'm done more or less with the first pass. I'll be on waiting for additional comments! Roberth Martinez (talk) 22:32, 24 August 2023 (UTC)