Talk:Cyclone Daman

Comments from the Copyedit

 * RSMC Nadi reported later that day that convective bands were getting better orgainsed, convection had also increased to the west of the low level circulation center. They also reported that the depression was located within an area of low shear and that the sea surface temperatures were favourable for further devlopment. You already mentioned that it was located within an area of low wind shear, I'm not sure that it needs to be mentioned again if it didn't change. You can include the importance of the warm waters to avoid having a short sentence
 * You use the warning centers a lot before you explain the features of the storm. They should only be used in that way if there are significant differences between the TWC's and for intensities.
 *  Early on December 6, Cyclone Daman recurved unexpectedly, towards the east which put Fiji's most northen island of Chikoba at risk. sounds out of place
 * RSMC Nadi also reported at this time that an approaching shortwave upper trough upstream of the cyclone enhanced the outflow over the system. Very confusing term, either find a link for it or find another way to define the conditions surrounding Daman

Just a few for now, I'll have to finish the copyedit later. Cyclonebiskit 18:26, 11 February 2009 (UTC)


 * This came as Daman brushed by the Fijian Island of Cikobia. what were the winds at this time?

Cyclonebiskit 20:54, 12 February 2009 (UTC)

Review comments
Lead *Try and make an original opening sentence that can grasp the readers attention. The most important feature of the storm is usually the best
 * De-capitalize terms that aren't used with a proper noun
 * Due to the severity of the storm, the name Daman was retired and replaced with Denia Was this the only reason why it was retired?
 * On December 3 the Regional Specialized Meteorological Centre in Nadi, Fiji, upgraded a tropical disturbance located to the west of the Solomon Islands, to Tropical Depression 04F. -> On December 3, the Regional Specialized Meteorological Centre (RSMC) in Nadi, Fiji, upgraded a tropical disturbance, located to the west of the Solomon Islands, to Tropical Depression 04F.
 * On December 5, as the depression moved towards the west into the Fijian Archipelago, both the Joint Typhoon Warning Center (JTWC) and RSMC Nadi upgraded it to Cyclone Daman at the same time. both...at the same time is repetitive.
 * Starting with the second sentence of the second paragraph in the lead, you use Daman in every sentence, try to use other words like "the cyclone" or "the storm" etc...

Meteorological history
 * Avoid saying that X agency reported that X feature were present in the storm
 * Any distances from major cities or islands to give a better focus on where the storm is?

Preparations
 * Early on December 5, RSMC Nadi started to issue Special Weather Bulletins on Tropical Cyclone Daman. De-capitalize Severe Weather Bulletins
 * Avoid using Daman so much

Impact and aftermath
 * Water pipes were damaged by trees that had fallen down because of strong winds from Daman however despite initial fears there were no fatalities. It was originally thought when Daman affected Cikobia that there had been some casualties. -> Water pipes were damaged by fallen trees as a result of high winds from the storm. Despite initial fears of there being some fatalities on Cikobia, no loss of life was recorded due to the storm.
 * This was because the Fijian Disaster Management Office had lost contact with the island just as Daman made landfall. reword to conform to newly proposed sentences above
 * However, they confirmed later that day that Daman was not responsible for any deaths or injuries as the islands 65 residents had evacuated to caves on Cikobia. remove this and give the reasoning for no loss of life earlier
 * The Fijian Goverment on January 15, 2008 allocated $530,000 2008 ... ->The Fijian Goverment, on January 15, 2008, allocated $530,000 2008...
 * By August 2008 all work rebuilding Cikobia after Cyclone Daman had been completed. ->By August 2008, all work rebuilding Cikobia after Cyclone Daman had been completed.

Records and naming
 * This was the second time that a Cyclone had been called Daman within the South Pacific, having last been used in the 1991-1992 season. -> This was the second time that the name Daman had been used to name a cyclone in the south Pacific, having last been used in the 1991-1992 season.

Cyclonebiskit 18:44, 15 February 2009 (UTC)

External links modified
Hello fellow Wikipedians,

I have just modified 3 one external links on Cyclone Daman. Please take a moment to review my edit. If you have any questions, or need the bot to ignore the links, or the page altogether, please visit this simple FaQ for additional information. I made the following changes:
 * Corrected formatting/usage for http://www.met.gov.fj/aifs_prods/20036.txt
 * Corrected formatting/usage for http://205.85.40.22/jtwc/warnings/sh0508web.txt
 * Corrected formatting/usage for http://205.85.40.22/jtwc/ab/abpwweb.txt

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