Talk:Cyclone Fakir/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: Destroyeraa-alt (talk · contribs) 23:57, 19 September 2021 (UTC)

I'll be doing this:

Lede

 * Fakir originated from a area of disturbed weather a → an
 * Done. Noah Talk 14:49, 20 September 2021 (UTC)


 * The system concentrated into a tropical depression by 23 April and was given the name Fakir later that day. Add a comma after "April".
 * Done. Noah Talk 14:49, 20 September 2021 (UTC)


 * If Fakir did undergo rapid intensification, link "rapidly intensified" to it
 * Done. Noah Talk 14:49, 20 September 2021 (UTC)


 * hours before passing just off the east coast of Réunion. Could be simplified to "hours before passing just east of Réunion."
 * Done. Noah Talk 14:49, 20 September 2021 (UTC)

MH

 * IMO "Fakir" is written too many times. Try replacing some usages with "the storm" or "the cyclone".
 * The remnants of Fakir slowed down and turned east-northeastwards on 25 and 26 April "The remnants of Fakir" → The remnants
 * Done. Noah Talk 14:49, 20 September 2021 (UTC)

Impact

 * Johannesburg, Mauritius, and Rodrigues Link Johannesburg and Rodrigues.
 * Done. Noah Talk 14:57, 20 September 2021 (UTC)


 * What is "Sheeting"?
 * Clarified it is metal sheeting. Noah Talk 14:57, 20 September 2021 (UTC)


 * Like "Blackouts" to power outage.
 * Done. Noah Talk 14:57, 20 September 2021 (UTC)


 * Total damage across the island exceeded €15 million (US$17.7 million).[22][23] Why's this in the middle of the second paragraph? I find its placement a bit awkward, as you're not done with other impacts unrelated to damage.
 * Moved to the end. Noah Talk 14:57, 20 September 2021 (UTC)


 * A small protest broke out in Pamplemousses over alleged failure by the authorities to hand out allowances to disaster victims.[54] Damage to crops caused by the rains resulted in an increase in the prices of vegetables by 20 percent in the week following Fakir.[55] This info belongs in the aftermath section, not the preps and impacts.
 * Moved to the aftermath. Noah Talk 14:57, 20 September 2021 (UTC)

Aftermath

 * At least 360 firefighters conducted at least 253 operations on 24 April to ensure the wellbeing of civilians, including 5 rescues. "to ensure the wellbeing of civilians" is unnecessary and rather redundant, since that's what firefighters do.
 * Removed. Noah Talk 15:03, 20 September 2021 (UTC)


 * A disaster declaration was issued for 15 municipalities as a result of agricultural losses during Fakir; many farms were destroyed, with some requiring up to a year for repairs.[60] and A disaster declaration was issued for the municipalities of Les Avirons, Bras-Panon, L'Entre-Deux, L'Étang-Salé, Petite-Île, Saint André, Saint-Benoît, Saint-Joseph, Saint-Leu, Saint-Louis, Saint-Pierre, Saint Philippe, Sainte-Marie, Sainte-Rose, and Sainte-Suzanne, as a result of severe flooding and mudslides.[65] For the latter sentence, I count 15 municipalities. Are they the same, or are they different?
 * Removed the duplication. Noah Talk 15:03, 20 September 2021 (UTC)


 * "Petite-Île ," → "Petite-Île," :P
 * Fixed. Noah Talk 15:03, 20 September 2021 (UTC)


 * Link Tampon to Le Tampon
 * Done. Noah Talk 15:03, 20 September 2021 (UTC)