Talk:Cyclone Sam/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: Yellow Evan (talk · contribs) 03:15, 10 August 2013 (UTC)
 * "Cyclone Sam (JTWC designation: 03S) was the second deadliest tropical cyclone in Australian history, only preceding the Mahina Cyclone of 1899." source? YE Pacific  Hurricane 03:15, 10 August 2013 (UTC)
 * Ignore all that. I looked into the subject matter deeper and determined that these people were later rescued and found, and all accounted for.  TheAustinMan (Talk·Works) 03:47, 10 August 2013 (UTC)


 * "Many of these fatalities resulted from the deadly sinkings of two immigration vessels off the coast of northwestern Australia as a result of Sam. " I have two problems with this 1) why in the world is this in the second sentence! Move this with impact. 2) there is no need for "deadly" since you make it clear ppl died within the word "fatalities". YE Pacific  Hurricane 03:15, 10 August 2013 (UTC)
 * I was extending the lead-in, which is normally a good idea for high-fatality/notability storms. I removed all fo this though.


 * "Upon making landfall, damage was considerable, but heavily localized"no need for "heavily". YE Pacific  Hurricane 03:15, 10 August 2013 (UTC)
 * The lead is a bit long. YE Pacific  Hurricane 03:15, 10 August 2013 (UTC)
 * No? It's two paragraphs.  TheAustinMan (Talk·Works) 03:47, 10 August 2013 (UTC)


 * " Due to its potential for development, the Bureau of Meteorology Tropical Cyclone Warning Center in Darwin (TCWC Darwin) began monitoring the system beginning on 28 November." "began" and "beginning" are a bit redundant, I'd throw the latter out the window and into a garbage dump :P
 * I'd rather compose it, but if you like garbage dumps sure thing.  TheAustinMan (Talk·Works) 03:47, 10 August 2013 (UTC)


 * "moved ashore the Kimberley coast roughly 90 km (55 mi)" in which direction?
 * East of Kalumbaru


 * "Due to weak steering currents, the depression drifted southward and moved ashore the Kimberley coast roughly 90 km (55 mi); this stint over land was short lived, however, and the system tracked back westward, reentering the warm Timor Sea the following day" wanna break this sentence up? YE Pacific  Hurricane 03:15, 10 August 2013 (UTC)
 * If that's an inquiry, no. I think the clauses are rather fine and succinct, breaking the sentence up would make a neutral change that really doesn't change anything; the semi-colon takes care of this anyways.  TheAustinMan (Talk·Works) 03:47, 10 August 2013 (UTC)


 * "At 0400 UTC on 5 December, TCWC Perth, having assumed local area responsibilities for the tracking of the storm,[2] determined the system to have strengthened into a tropical cyclone;[1] thus, the warning center assigned the name Sam to the storm.[2] " same here. YE Pacific  Hurricane 03:15, 10 August 2013 (UTC)
 * Got rid of the semi-colon and changed to a full stop.  TheAustinMan (Talk·Works)


 * "Although a tropical cyclone warning was issued twelve hours prior,[4] " what is a "tropical cyclone warning"? YE Pacific  Hurricane 03:15, 10 August 2013 (UTC)
 * It's the Australian equivalent of a hurricane warning, basically. It wouldn't make sense to link to the watches and warnings page either since that's ATL/WPAC only if I recall correctly.  TheAustinMan (Talk·Works) 03:47, 10 August 2013 (UTC)


 * " somewhat inhibiting development and partially exposing Sam's low level center of circulation as it tracked westward." what is "somewhat" and squeeze in a link (atmospheric circulation? 03:15, 10 August 2013 (UTC)
 * somewhat – to a moderate extent or to a moderate amount. It's a pretty common word in English actually. And I linked the suggested page.  TheAustinMan (Talk·Works) 03:47, 10 August 2013 (UTC)


 * "Over the following day, an eye began to take form and Sam began to rapidly intensify.[1]" change "began to take form" to "started to form", you use "began" TWICe and there is no need for "take". YE Pacific  Hurricane 03:15, 10 August 2013 (UTC)
 * Changed the 'began' suggestion. Assumably, 'take' would make sense if the eye was present before, but 'twas not the case, so I removed it.  TheAustinMan (Talk·Works) 03:47, 10 August 2013 (UTC)


 * "At 0400 UTC, the storm attained Category 3 cyclone intensity." on what scale? YE Pacific  Hurricane 03:15, 10 August 2013 (UTC)
 * The BOM's scale.  TheAustinMan (Talk·Works) 03:47, 10 August 2013 (UTC)


 * "At around the same time, Sam briefly became stationary before resuming its previous southward trek.[3] " "At" is unneeded as well as "previous" due to the fact you say "resumed". YE Pacific  Hurricane 03:15, 10 August 2013 (UTC)
 * Removed both instances.  TheAustinMan (Talk·Works) 03:47, 10 August 2013 (UTC)


 * "However, in post-analysis," post what? I think you mean "post-storm analysis" :P YE Pacific  Hurricane 03:15, 10 August 2013 (UTC)
 * Perhaps.  TheAustinMan (Talk·Works) 03:47, 10 August 2013 (UTC)


 * What Category was Sam at on the SSHWs per the JTWC? YE Pacific  Hurricane 03:15, 10 August 2013 (UTC)
 * Added tidbit on the JTWC. This is why I like the ATL/EPAC better, so I don't have to run into the JTWC.  TheAustinMan (Talk·Works) 03:47, 10 August 2013 (UTC)


 * "Roughly 600 mi (970 km) off the coast of western Australia, an two" remove "an". YE Pacific  Hurricane 03:15, 10 August 2013 (UTC)
 * Removed.  TheAustinMan (Talk·Works) 03:47, 10 August 2013 (UTC)


 * "Due to the destruction wrought by Sam," how do we know it was retired due to impact? YE Pacific  Hurricane 03:15, 10 August 2013 (UTC)
 * This is debatable, but the World Meteorological Organization's PDF (which is hence sourced) outlines it pretty clear in the chapter and within the contents of the publication - "List of Tropical Cyclone names withdrawn from use due to cyclone's negative impact on one or more countries."  TheAustinMan (Talk·Works) 03:47, 10 August 2013 (UTC)


 * "Cyclone Anette (1994)" no need for year. YE Pacific  Hurricane 03:15, 10 August 2013 (UTC)
 * Ok.  TheAustinMan (Talk·Works) 03:47, 10 August 2013 (UTC)