Talk:Daara J/GA1

GA Review
This review is transcluded from Talk:Daara J/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.


 * Quite a few more images here if you want to make it look prettier. :)
 * Prettified.
 * "consisting of N'Dongo D, Aladji Man, and Faada Freddy." - do all three of them just rap? Or are there instruments and stuff?
 * None of my sources say what each of them do specifically, besides rap...
 * Lead could do with a split into paragraphs (Mostly because I like paragraphs. And it makes things easier to comprehend.)
 * Paragraphed and cut a bit.
 * "when all of its members were in high school,[1] where they were studying accountancy" - I've never seen a high school where you can specifically study something (like accounting...)...you sure this isn't a university?
 * See the radio interview; apparently they do things differently in Senegal. :)
 * "as well as Cuban music" - reading here, it sounds like Cuban music is a band... reword this sentence
 * Tweaked.
 * "Positive Black Soul, another Senegalese rap group, wanted Daara J to record and perform" - feels like there's something missing.... to record and perform with them?
 * Changed to "encourage"; don't think they ever formally performed together.
 * "praising the album for its lyrical content: "However, as Daara J show throughout Boomerang" - can you remove the however? It's kinda... weird, since it's not contradicting anything.
 * Yesterday you criticize your own writing, now you criticize the quote? What's next, mine? :)...Removed.
 * One day, I promise. dihydrogen monoxide (H2O) 23:16, 30 May 2008 (UTC)
 * Not sure if the final Wikinews link is really necessary (says while doing this offline)... does it mention Daara J in any depth?
 * Removed. --Kakofonous (talk) 20:35, 29 May 2008 (UTC)