Talk:Dahiru Musdapher/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Nominator: 06:42, 2 April 2024 (UTC)

Reviewer: Otuọcha (talk · contribs) 06:01, 3 April 2024 (UTC) Thanks for your great contributions to this article. I will start review by noon. Feel free to question my review and good luck with the nomination. All the Best! Otuọcha  (talk) 06:01, 3 April 2024 (UTC)

Copyvio

 * Earwigs report says here says 9.1% and reassessment indicated no copyright issues. Free with that!

Lede
infobox
 * In the infobox, link Attorney General of Kaduna State to Ministry of Justice (Kaduna State) ✅
 * Justice of the Supreme Court of Nigeria; it's important we know the predecessor and successor since its a leadership position, and connects weblink ❌ — I do not have the name of the predecessors or successors as they are not mentioned in the book or elsewhere. It's not actually a political position with pre— and successors.

Body
Early Life''
 * Place comma after "July" ❌, MOS:DATES says I'm correct.
 * I don't see a need for the "present day": perhaps "...scholars in Babura, Jigawa State, Nigeria.", it was added by a user who loves adding "present-day" to articles.
 * Link "Babura" and "Jigawa State" ✅
 * There is quite a resetting for Musdapher's father was Mallam Babura Musdapher a cleric and Islamic scholar: reword perhaps, "His father Mallam Babura Musdapher was a cleric and Islamic scholar".
 * It had a dash before but I think a comma did the job now.
 * This line again who was a principal advisor to colonial district head in the Kano Native Authority before being a district head of Babura local government area in Kano State. Perhaps "...who was the principal advisor to the head of the colonial district in Kano Native Authority. " (cited to source 1) ✅
 * What is "before being a district head of Babura LGA in Kano State". Reword to "He previously headed the Babura LGA in Kano State." Can disagree though! ❌. I only explained who his father was in a sentence.
 * Don't link "Babura" again since it's now common to the article. If possible, do that in "Kano State"
 * Where is this?
 * I will remove this paragraph since it doesn't belong here. Born in a polygamous family of 25 children, Musdapher was the first son of his father and only son of his mother and served as the head of his family after the demise of his father. This should be at the top of the article. Perhaps I would write, "Musdapher was born on 15 July, 1942 in Babura, Jigawa State, Nigeria as the first son out of 25 children to a polygamous family of Kanuri scholars." Followed by "...his father's life."
 * Tweaked. I hope it's fine now.
 * After the fathers life per above. Tell us still in the same paragraph then that "he took over father the death of his father."
 * I will suggest the "Education section" be deleted and placed as tye second paragraph in "Early life" (which would have looked shorter)
 * ❌, I changed the above section to Background and early life, I wouldn't want it to be si jam-packed. What do you still think?
 * Leave it then. I fixed a little on the article.
 * Another problem. I can't find any citation for Musdapher was born on 15 July 1942 as the first and eldest son in a polygamous family of 25 children and only son of his mother to a family of Kanuri scholars in Babura, Jigawa State, Nigeria. Is the citation to the second paragraph supporting that?
 * Yes. The citation at the end of paragraph supports everything on that section.
 * I see this In 1949, when Musdapher was due to learn Islamic teachings in Sudan and Egypt, his aunt opposed citing his age as a barrier for long distance travels. as jump-packed. Perhaps can be shorter and paraphrased to "In 1949, Musdapher faced opposition from his aunt when he sought to pursue Islamic teachings in Sudan and Egypt due to his age being perceived as a barrier for long-distance travel."
 * ❌. Faced opposition sounds a bit too political for me.
 * Link "Sudan" and "Egypt"
 * I will follow it that "In the next year being 1950 with the support of Mohammed Ibrahim, then head-boy, Musdapher gained admission to Babura Elementary School." (Cite it)
 * Continuing, "He left the school in 1953 and progressed to Birnin Kudu Middle School (should this be Government College, Birnin Kudu; if it is, then link it) in 1954 and graduated in 1956 with a First School Leaving Certificate."
 * He moved to Rumfa College, Kano for secondary education in 1957 is fine. Link "Rumfa College, Kano"
 * I don't get the "Institute of Administration". Possibly it can just be "In 1963, he was admitted into Ahmadu Bello University in Zaria, where he got a Bar Part 1 in 1964." (Cite it)
 * ❌. The Institute of Administration was the name it had before it was renamed Ahmedu Bello University. This makes sense to the readers too—atleast, some would know it has a name before ABU.
 * That's still fine. Was a suggestion!
 * In proceeded to the University of London's School of Oriental and African Studies from 1964 to 1967, just reword perhaps "Musdapher moved to London and where he proceeded to SOAS University of London from 1964 to 1967." Link "SOAS University of London". (There is no need to call it University of London's ....)
 * ❌. SOAS is not an independent university. It is a campus of University of London.
 * You should provide that he moved to US. (Showing background for Nigeria & USA; he didn't flew overnights: may be a suggest also). SafariScribe (talk) 20:01, 3 April 2024 (UTC)
 * There is no background information on the date and time he traveled. He perhaps flew overnight:). Also, SOAS is in the UK not US.
 * After returning to Nigeria, he enrolled at the Nigerian Law School in 1967 and was called to the Nigerian Bar in 1968. can be perhaps "Upon his return to Nigeria, Musdapher enrolled into the Nigerian Law School in 1967 and was called to the Nigerian Bar in 1968." Link as present in the article.
 * There is no background information on the date and time he traveled. He perhaps flew overnight:). Also, SOAS is in the UK not US.
 * After returning to Nigeria, he enrolled at the Nigerian Law School in 1967 and was called to the Nigerian Bar in 1968. can be perhaps "Upon his return to Nigeria, Musdapher enrolled into the Nigerian Law School in 1967 and was called to the Nigerian Bar in 1968." Link as present in the article.

Career

 * Delink "School of Oriental and African Studies" and should use it's abbrev. Leave it linked only in "Education" section ✅
 * Place also the abbrev. in the "Education" section ✅
 * Link also the "Middle Temple" ✅
 * I am a bit concerned with this line As a student, Musdapher was a regular contributor or discussant in the West African and Hausa services of the BBC. I will like you add one, the most between 'contributor' and 'discussants' (or allow both with conjunction "and")
 * Removed "or" added "and"
 * ...in the BBC World Service for West Africa and Hausa. Check my linking and feel free to disagree ✅
 * saw the appointment of Musdapher as the secretary of the Kano Emirate Council: the "saw" is a bit not understandable even to a lay man. Perhaps "made his appointment as the secretary of the Kano Emirate Council" it's rare people say "saw". I also in the reword replaced the appointment of Musdapher since it do be a pronoun for best fit.
 * , I am still trying to put two and two together. I'll get this done tomorrow morning.
 * I have tweaked this section. I believe a layman can understand this now.
 * I can't find much for this "Kano Co-operative Bank". Was it a defunct or a body?
 * I hear it's now a part of Unity Bank, plc but source did not say so and I'm unable to find any source yet. I'll look extensively tomorrow.
 * I looked and found nothing. Unity Bank isn't known for its PR.
 * Link "...member of the Body of Benchers to Nigerian Body of Benchers
 * I can't find any citation, do add one!
 * I can't find any citation, do add one!

Moving to the second paragraph;
 * In 1976 through a nomination from Umaru Abdullahi, Musdapher was persuaded by Sani Abacha and Ibrahim Babangida to accept the position of the Attorney-General of Kaduna State. Should it be after the nomination (because nom comes before accepting). Know whether to change
 * Leaving the Attorney-General, link "Kaduna State" only
 * Cite the persuasion. It's important!
 * succeeding C. I. Jones and thus becoming the first indigenous judge of the court Do that C. I. Jones needs (red) linking? Or may meet notability
 * ✅. Redlinked.
 * Cite the succession, tell us all about the succession or more about the Successor that made him becoming indigenous; I want to know if Jones is a colonial master and if possible "date" his regime
 * I'll finish this off tomorrow.
 * There isn’t really much detailed. The book told me he's the first indigenous judge of the court meaning that Jones was a foreigner. I can't add this to avoid WP:OR
 * This line He was elevated to the position... Is a justice elevated or appointed or elected (it matters)
 * ✅, appointed.
 * link the court to "Nigerian Courts of Appeal"
 * He was promoted to the Nigerian Supreme Court in 2003 remove the full stop in the previous sentence and place conjunction "and" to yield "He was elevated to the position of a Justice of the Nigerian Court of Appeal in 1985,[6] and then, to the Nigerian Supreme Court in 2003."
 * ✅. I also moved the ref to the end of the sentence.
 * The next "and following" is not strong enough as the conjunction is sagging. Consider perhaps "Following the retirement of Aloysius Iyorgyer Katsina-Alu, the immediate chief judge, President Goodluck Jonathan appointed Musdapher as the 12th Chief Justice of Nigeria in 2011, a position he held untill his retirement in 2012." ✅
 * Avoid that "the then President", it's worthless as dates indicates such! ✅
 * He was promoted to the Nigerian Supreme Court in 2003 remove the full stop in the previous sentence and place conjunction "and" to yield "He was elevated to the position of a Justice of the Nigerian Court of Appeal in 1985,[6] and then, to the Nigerian Supreme Court in 2003."
 * ✅. I also moved the ref to the end of the sentence.
 * The next "and following" is not strong enough as the conjunction is sagging. Consider perhaps "Following the retirement of Aloysius Iyorgyer Katsina-Alu, the immediate chief judge, President Goodluck Jonathan appointed Musdapher as the 12th Chief Justice of Nigeria in 2011, a position he held untill his retirement in 2012." ✅
 * Avoid that "the then President", it's worthless as dates indicates such! ✅

Honours

 * This section is good

Personal life

 * Musdapher was married to Haijyya Sabwa Dahiru Musdapher (née Suleiman Galadima) and both has three children. Well written, just reference!
 * Everything is referenced. I didn't want to cluster every line so as to make it readable.
 * On a second thought, I added the name of two of his children from Vanguard.
 * If you require a copy of the book, I could scan the cited page and send to your mail.
 * Well thought. Alright, send it to my mail. Safari Scribe Edits! Talk! 07:02, 4 April 2024 (UTC)

Spot checks and conclusion

 * All are cited well!

Personal life

 * State the reason of his death. This source said he died of "Kidney disease". Add and cite it.

Closing comment: This is a short article, yet covered broadness and focused on the article. The prose is balances and I've seen my suggestions has been done. I have no other thing to hold this article as it is good to my eye. To the non, thanks for your great contributions to Wikipedia and keep on!. Safari Scribe Edits! Talk! 07:23, 4 April 2024 (UTC)