Talk:Dangerous Girls/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: maclean (talk) 05:24, 1 July 2011 (UTC)


 * GA review (see What is a good article?)


 * 1) It is reasonably well written.
 * a (prose): b (MoS):
 * 1) It is factually accurate and verifiable.
 * a (references): b (citations to reliable sources):  c (OR):
 * 1) It is broad in its coverage.
 * a (major aspects): b (focused):
 * 1) It follows the neutral point of view policy.
 * Fair representation without bias:
 * 1) It is stable.
 * No edit wars, etc.:
 * 1) It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
 * a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail:
 * Notes
 * In "Background" add some content regarding who R.L. Stine is (eg. novelist, age/location, specializes in x genres, best known for..., prior to Dangerous Girls he was last published in 200x, etc.). This should only take a couple of sentences but provides a better understanding on where the novel is coming from wrt the author.
 * I re-ordered the introduction to place the plot details into its own stand-alone paragraph.
 * The prose has no obvious errors, but could be edited further.
 * For example, Lorenzo "Renz" Angelini, a vampire, sinks his fangs into sixteen-year-old female Destiny Weller's throat at Camp Blue Moon during summer, leaving her confused. → During summer break, at Camp Blue Moon, the vampire Lorenzo "Renz" Angelini bites into the throat of sixteen-year-old Destiny Weller.
 * While at their family friend Coach Bauer's house, the sisters meet Marjory Bauer, Coach's vampire wife. → While at the house of a family friend the sisters meet Marjory Bauer, another vampire.
 * I'm not convinced that a separate section is necessary for "Sequel". If this is just basically two sentences, then merge it to the "Reception" section as "Reception and sequel" (or to the "Background" section). Also, this is not the correct usage of the main (per WP:MOS which says this should be used only if the section summarizes the next article, like India has a summary of 'History of India').
 * , because of the above noted points I will place this on hold for a week. And then re-review to see if the points have been addressed. maclean (talk) 01:31, 6 July 2011 (UTC)
 * Thanks for the review. Will work on the suggestions. Fearstreetsaga (talk) 19:01, 13 July 2011 (UTC)
 * I worked on the suggestions as best I could. Fearstreetsaga (talk) 21:17, 24 July 2011 (UTC)
 * For example, Lorenzo "Renz" Angelini, a vampire, sinks his fangs into sixteen-year-old female Destiny Weller's throat at Camp Blue Moon during summer, leaving her confused. → During summer break, at Camp Blue Moon, the vampire Lorenzo "Renz" Angelini bites into the throat of sixteen-year-old Destiny Weller.
 * While at their family friend Coach Bauer's house, the sisters meet Marjory Bauer, Coach's vampire wife. → While at the house of a family friend the sisters meet Marjory Bauer, another vampire.
 * I'm not convinced that a separate section is necessary for "Sequel". If this is just basically two sentences, then merge it to the "Reception" section as "Reception and sequel" (or to the "Background" section). Also, this is not the correct usage of the main (per WP:MOS which says this should be used only if the section summarizes the next article, like India has a summary of 'History of India').
 * , because of the above noted points I will place this on hold for a week. And then re-review to see if the points have been addressed. maclean (talk) 01:31, 6 July 2011 (UTC)
 * Thanks for the review. Will work on the suggestions. Fearstreetsaga (talk) 19:01, 13 July 2011 (UTC)
 * I worked on the suggestions as best I could. Fearstreetsaga (talk) 21:17, 24 July 2011 (UTC)


 * I am passing this as a GA. For further improvements, further copyedits can be made. There are no errors in the writing but some instances where sentences can be re-phrased with more effective communication in mind (ie. "He says that he will come and take care of her..." --> 'he commits to taking care[?] of her...'). Also, novel articles benefit from a literary analysis section (like themes, motifs, allusions, etc.). I did not find any such analysis in the references, but in the future new sources come available which examine such things in Stine's works. maclean (talk) 00:34, 28 July 2011 (UTC)