Talk:Darren Murphy/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: SNUGGUMS (talk · contribs) 19:23, 16 August 2021 (UTC)

Hello there! I shall review this article, and my initial comments should be up within a few days. SNUGGUMS (talk / edits) 19:23, 16 August 2021 (UTC)

Let's begin with the infobox and lead.

Infobox

 * While I don't see any copyright issues with File:Darren Murphy 1.png, his face is somewhat blurry there. Can a clearer shot be provided?
 * Per WP:INFOBOXREF, you don't need to citations for anything here that's already sourced within article prose

Lead

 * Having super short paragraphs like the first one here is discouraged as it makes the flow of text feel choppy. Either expand on that or merge it with the second paragraph.
 * The semi-colon from "Injury would disrupt the latter stages of his career; spending time with Woking" should instead be a comma.

More to follow later. SNUGGUMS (talk / edits) 03:49, 21 August 2021 (UTC)

Early life

 * This literally just has one sentence. I'd expand it to include details on his upbringing and what first got him interested in football. Perhaps details on parents and any sibling the guy has could also be added.

Playing career

 * First paragraph looks decent.

Sorry for not getting back sooner (I was sidetracked). My next edits will probably be done section-by-section starting with "Stevenage". SNUGGUMS (talk / <b style="color:#009900">edits</b>) 02:06, 1 September 2021 (UTC)

Stevenage

 * Most of the "Soccerbase" URLs aren't loading for me (only the last two showed anything), which makes it harder to verify the claims attributed to them :/
 * Don't try to hide the "F.C." part of Stevenage F.C.'s name
 * Per WP:REPCITE, you don't need to use the same citation more than once consecutively within a paragraph. This means you can just use ref#10 at the end of "assist for Stevenage's third goal", ref#20 at the end of "after suffering a dislocated shoulder", ref#21 (which sadly isn't working) at the end of "helped off the pitch", ref#30 at the end of "one-month loan agreement on 10 February 2012", and ref#33 at the end of "no appearances for the team during the season",
 * I see nothing here about Murphy scoring his first Stevenage goal
 * Use four digits for years as those are more complete and professional looking than having two digits.
 * Can you find something better than a Blogspot post?
 * No mention of this being his first game of 2010–2011 season or dislocating a shoulder.
 * Unfortunately, ref#22, ref#26, and ref#31 also don't seem to load at all
 * I can't find anything that says or suggests that March 2011 was his first game after recovering from a broken leg
 * The guy isn't mentioned in ref#29 or ref#32 at all!
 * Where did you get 54 appearances from? I don't see such a total in the given citation.

The verification issues in this subsection are starting to worry me. Hopefully the rest of the article does a better job of backing up claims. <b style="color:#009900">SNUGGUMS</b> (<b style="color:#009900">talk</b> / <b style="color:#009900">edits</b>) 18:29, 5 September 2021 (UTC)


 * Firstly, no need to apologise re: not getting back sooner. Thank you for taking the time out to review the article. Secondly, it is my turn to apologise for the massive oversight re: the above referencing. In recent months, I have gone back and completely overhauled all of the Stevenage F.C. based player articles I had written around 2009–2010 time. This was largely because they were 1) too detailed and 2) the referencing on them was completely outdated. Just to clarify, the Soccerbase links did once work and the above BBC Sport match reports you've correctly highlighted did once include a line-up list, which included all of the players who played in the match as well as a live commentary highlighting the events of the match. Anyway, I evidently forgot to do the above for this article and the references were completely outdated as you've rightly stated. I have gone through and updated all of the above. Also, whilst nothing is set in stone, nearly all football articles do not include the "F.C." in the team name, and also use four digits for the first year and two digits on the last year of the respective season. The MOS here is a decent enough guideline on this, for me. Cheers! SBFCEdit (talk) 13:28, 6 September 2021 (UTC)

Port Vale

 * The guy is nowhere to be found in these links :/, and I see nothing in Soccerbase about Chris Shuker. Luckily, I did find another used citation that can be attributed to the "full debut" in October 2012.
 * It gets really repetitive seeing all except two sentences of the section start with "he". In fact, I wouldn't even recommend beginning consecutive sentences with the same word/pronoun when it's possible to avoid that.
 * Maybe I missed something, but I don't see anything here about Rochdale being Murphy's third appearance of the season

Next up will be the "Return to Non-League" sub-section. <b style="color:#009900">SNUGGUMS</b> (<b style="color:#009900">talk</b> / <b style="color:#009900">edits</b>) 03:15, 19 September 2021 (UTC)


 * Same issue re: old BBC Sport articles. All sorted now, cheers. SBFCEdit (talk) 14:42, 19 September 2021 (UTC)

Return to Non-League

 * It doesn't look like ref#39 is loading, so fix that link or replace it with a working one
 * In the second paragraph, you can safely remove the instances of ref#37 used prior to "return to Stevenage" per WP:REPCITE.
 * I don't see anything within these refs that supports the 68 minutes bit for Woking

Getting closer now. It should be easier after "Return to Ireland" is complete. <b style="color:#009900">SNUGGUMS</b> (<b style="color:#009900">talk</b> / <b style="color:#009900">edits</b>) 03:14, 29 September 2021 (UTC)

Return to Ireland
As far as I can tell, these links don't say anything about 10 March 2014 being his "second debut" for Cork City
 * It seems he had four games with the team this time around, not five as you've written.
 * Starting three consecutive sentences with "Murphy" (which the second paragraph does) feels repetitive

That's an entire section now finished! I'll get to "Coaching" next. <b style="color:#009900">SNUGGUMS</b> (<b style="color:#009900">talk</b> / <b style="color:#009900">edits</b>) 03:30, 1 October 2021 (UTC)

Coaching

 * You don't need to use ref#5 at the end of so many sentences per WP:REPCITE. It's enough to just have that follow "academy coach at Stevenage in 2011" (which has another citation attached to it) and "held until October 2016".
 * The tone of "sacking" from "sacking of previous manager Stuart Ashton" feels too informal. Try to use a more encyclopedic term like "departure" or "exit".

Style of play

 * This feels rather short with only two sentences. Either expand it or merge with something larger.

Nearly there now. I should get the rest of the article in one go whenever that is assessed. <b style="color:#009900">SNUGGUMS</b> (<b style="color:#009900">talk</b> / <b style="color:#009900">edits</b>) 03:10, 5 October 2021 (UTC)

Career statistics

 * Looks good as far as I can tell

Honours

 * No need for the "Stevenage" subheading when this section isn't divided into any other portions

Overall

 * Prose: The super-short "Style of play" gives a somewhat choppy flow of text without much substance
 * Referencing: Some formatting needs to be fixed
 * Coverage: You should add more details on playing style, how he first got interested in football, and (assuming it can be found) perhaps some bits on Murphy's family
 * Neutrality: I don't have any worries here
 * Stability: All good
 * Media: The one image used has appropriate licensing
 * Verdict: Starting now, I'm putting the nomination on hold for seven days. My main concern is the article looks somewhat incomplete at the moment. Nevertheless, it feels good to finally finish assessing this page. <b style="color:#009900">SNUGGUMS</b> (<b style="color:#009900">talk</b> / <b style="color:#009900">edits</b>) 02:35, 13 October 2021 (UTC)


 * Thanks again for taking the time out to review the article. I have made the remaining suggested changes. The only two things I have left are the Stevenage sub-heading in the honours list per the MOS, which states the club where the player won said honours should be mentioned, and also the italicised references for BBC Sport & Soccerbase, which I believe should be listed as a 'website' as opposed to 'publisher' (and this automatically italicises them). Echo Live is a newspaper so it is listed as such. Could not find any further information on early life yet (will keep an eye out for it) but have bulked up the style of play section. Cheers! SBFCEdit (talk) 21:07, 17 October 2021 (UTC)
 * My pleasure, and I can finally say this is now good enough to be GA level, so I'm now passing the nomation. Well done! <b style="color:#009900">SNUGGUMS</b> (<b style="color:#009900">talk</b> / <b style="color:#009900">edits</b>) 21:32, 17 October 2021 (UTC)