Talk:David Duke 1988 presidential campaign/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Kavyansh.Singh (talk · contribs) 15:53, 16 June 2021 (UTC)

I have contributed to some American presidential campaigns, and would be glad to review this one for GAN. Would be reviewing it soon. This is my first GA Review! Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 15:53, 16 June 2021 (UTC)

Lead

 * The 1988 presidential campaign of David Duke, Grand Wizard in the Ku Klux Klan and notable perennial candidate, was formally launched on June 8, 1987, as Duke announced his intention to seek the Democratic Party nomination for the presidency of the United States in the 1988 presidential election. -> In 1988, David Duke ran unsuccessfully for President of the United States. Duke, a perennial Democratic candidate and Grand Wizard in the Ku Klux Klan announced his intention to seek Democratic nomination for 1988 presidential election in June, 1987.
 * I am confused about the statement "Bo Gritz was initially selected to serve as his vice-presidential running mate, but withdrew and was replaced by Floyd Parker and Trenton Stokes.". It needs a citation. Was Gritz replaced by two VP candidates of Populist Party? Also, there is no mention of Trenton Stokes in any other part of the article except lead and Infobox!
 * Many readers include me don't understand the concept of two running mates. It needs some elaboration.
 * The nominator has made the changes. Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 07:47, 9 July 2021 (UTC)


 * ... and only appeared on the primary ballot in a few states -> ... and appeared on the primary ballot only in a few states.
 * The lead doesn't mention any major event of the primaries or general election campaign. The last paragraph "After his presidential campaign ....... in the 1992 Republican primary." is aftermath of campaign, and should be summarized or replaced by major events occurring during campaign.
 * The nominator has made the changes. Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 07:47, 9 July 2021 (UTC)
 * The nominator has made the changes. Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 07:47, 9 July 2021 (UTC)

Infobox

 * "(Democratic Primaries)" should be written before presidential election as "1988 Democratic primaries" in Campaign field.
 * I made the change per nominator's request. Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 07:47, 9 July 2021 (UTC)
 * I made the change per nominator's request. Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 07:47, 9 July 2021 (UTC)


 * In the "Candidate" field, it seems like David Duke, Grand Wizard, Floyd Parker and Trenton Stokes are four different candidates. Consider writing "Grand Wizard" in brackets. Also, don't use Template:unbulleted list for listing candidates, see how William McKinley 1896 presidential campaign lists candidates.
 * In "Affiliation" field, as there are two parties, considered adding the month till which Duke was in a party like: Democratic Party (till May/June...), Populist Party (after May/June...).
 * The nominator has made the changes. Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 07:47, 9 July 2021 (UTC)
 * The nominator has made the changes. Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 07:47, 9 July 2021 (UTC)


 * The money raised (receipts) should be mentioned in the article too, with Template:Inflation added.
 * I think the campaign finance section is sufficient, and adding Template:Inflation was just a suggestion. Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 07:47, 9 July 2021 (UTC)
 * I think the campaign finance section is sufficient, and adding Template:Inflation was just a suggestion. Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 07:47, 9 July 2021 (UTC)


 * If there is any information on his campaign slogan (like "time to turn the tide"). If so, add it with citation in the infobox.

Background

 * Mention that Ku Klux Klan was a white supremacist organization, as there is no mention of it and reader probably doesn't understand anything about it by its name.
 * The nominator has made the changes. Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 07:47, 9 July 2021 (UTC)
 * The nominator has made the changes. Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 07:47, 9 July 2021 (UTC)


 * ... Despite being six years too young to be qualified to run for president Duke attempted ... -> ... Despite being six years younger that required 35 years of age to run for president, Duke attempted ....
 * "...at the Democratic National Convention." 1988 Democratic National Convention needs to be linked.

Announcement

 * The source doesn't states 30 supporters, but about or almost thirty supporters.
 * ... but his reservation at both were cancelled as they stated... -> ... but his reservation at both were cancelled as the hotel management stated...
 * His candidacy was attacked with Paul G. Kirk, the Democratic National Committee Chairman.... Job titles are not capitalized unless they immediately precede a person's name - Chairman Kirk said... versus Kirk, the chairman said.
 * "fraud on the process and the public" and that they.. -> "fraud on the process and the public", and that they.. (add comma)
 * Kirk compared Duke's candidacy to that of Lyndon LaRouche's many attempts at the Democratic nomination and how the Democratic Party had fought against him as well. The first part of sentence seems fine, but second part needs to be re-phrased.
 * The nominator has made the changes. Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 07:47, 9 July 2021 (UTC)
 * The nominator has made the changes. Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 07:47, 9 July 2021 (UTC)

1988 Democratic Primaries

 * The subheading could be re-framed as "Democratic presidential primaries". No need of capitalizing Primaries and repeating 1988.
 * A week later he pled no contest to a misdemeanor charge of obstruction of a roadway from when he was involved in an incident during a civil rights march in Forsyth County in January. "Plead no contest" should link to Nolo contendere.
 * Duke and Representative Pat Schroeder were excluded from a debate hosted... -> Duke and Representative Pat Schroeder were excluded from a primary debate hosted. Mention primary debate.
 * but it was thrown out by Judge The phrase "thrown out" needs to be re-framed, maybe "rejected" will work.
 * debate hosted at Tulane University he filed a lawsuit... -> debate hosted at Tulane University, he filed a lawsuit.... (Added comma)
 * ...5th US Circuit Court of Appeals refused to stop the debate until Duke pressed his lawsuit further. Did Duke requested court to stop the primary debate? If so, it needs to be cited and mentioned.
 * When Duke registered to appear on the New Hampshire presidential primary ballot he attempted to -> When Duke registered to appear on the New Hampshire presidential primary ballot, he attempted to hold two press conferences at the New Hampshire State House, but both failed. Added comma, and how did both the press conferences failed? Was Duke not allowed to hold press conference? Was he not given media coverage? Specify.

Will continue with another set of comments when the above are fixed/replied. Overall, article lacks adequate information about his campaign from Populist Party, that is why I have not passed it in " Broadness" criteria. Consider reading some biography for the research. I am putting article on hold for the issues to be addressed. Thanks! Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 17:55, 16 June 2021 (UTC)


 * Thank you for the review and I will get to fixing the problems as soon as possible. Jon698 (talk) 18:19, 16 June 2021 (UTC)
 * I just made some edits fixing most of the problems you have with the article. Can you give me at one week to fix the rest? My library has a book about David Duke's presidential campaigns, but the library is closed for a week due to construction. Jon698 (talk) 15:57, 20 June 2021 (UTC)
 * Hi @Jon698: Thanks for your edits, here are a few more suggestions.
 * Hi @: Just a kind reminder for making the necessary changes. The Review is on hold. Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 10:32, 4 July 2021 (UTC)

Further comments  (Continuing with 1988 Democratic Primaries section)


 * "bona fide candidate" Consider rephrasing it to aid readers who may be unfamiliar with this term.
 * "Senator Vickie Miles LaGrange, one of two black...", Vicki Miles-LaGrange needs to be linked.
 * "Another presidential candidate, Stephen Koczak, attempted to speak before the Oklahoma Senate, but did not receive unanimous consent as multiple senators mistook Koczak for Duke. Koczak later spoke before the Oklahoma House of Representatives.". Is it somewhat related to Duke's campaign, or is just a trivia?
 * "in Arkansas, Louisiana, Missouri, New Hampshire, New Jersey, Oklahoma, Texas, and West Virginia". Firstly, the states here which are mentioned first time in the article needs to be linked. Secondly, the source (1) doesn't mention about New Jersey. Maybe you needs to add another citation for New Jersey.
 * "Duke did not appear on the ballot in Florida due to the 1988 Presidential selection Committee and Charles Whitehead..." Remove 1988.
 * "Ralph Forbes attempted to pay the.." -> "His campaign manager Ralph Forbes attempted to pay the..."
 * There are almost 7 paragraphs in this section, with few paragraphs only of 2-3 lines. Consider merging paragraphs to create 3-4 paragraphs overall.
 * Isn't a major issue. Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 07:47, 9 July 2021 (UTC)
 * Isn't a major issue. Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 07:47, 9 July 2021 (UTC)

Populist Party

 * "However, Hansen stated on August 31, that he would not accept the nomination as seeking the presidency outside of the major parties and that there was no honor in running "some kind of abortive effort"." — The sentence is not clear, maybe separate in 2 sentences.
 * The nominator has made the changes. Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 07:47, 9 July 2021 (UTC)
 * The nominator has made the changes. Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 07:47, 9 July 2021 (UTC)


 * "On March 7, 1988, Duke gave his speech at the Populist Party..." — The source ( states that the date was March 7, 1987, not 88. If you are sure that it was 1988, provide another citation.
 * On March 13, the Populist Party selected to give its presidential nomination to Duke and... — Maybe the word "selected" doesn't fits here. There must be some kind of convention or something by which Duke "won" or "received" the nomination.
 * The nominator has made the changes. Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 07:47, 9 July 2021 (UTC)
 * The nominator has made the changes. Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 07:47, 9 July 2021 (UTC)


 * However, Gritz he would later withdraw on March 31, stating that he had been told that Representative James Traficant had been given the presidential nomination and to run for United States Congress as a Republican and was replaced by Floyd Parker.. — The sentence needs to be rephrased and split.
 * I rephrased the sentence. Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 07:47, 9 July 2021 (UTC)
 * I rephrased the sentence. Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 07:47, 9 July 2021 (UTC)


 * ... after all of his opponents had already stopped running. — "stopped running" should be replaced by "withdrawn from the race" or "dropped out".
 * Libertarian Party needs to to be linked. (Libertarian Party)
 * coming from the southern United States.. -> coming from the southern States..
 * with him taking third place in Arkansas, Kentucky, Louisiana, and Mississippi. -> He came third in place in states like Arkansas, Kentucky, Louisiana, and Mississippi.

Economics

 * Duke supported the creation of... -> He supported the creation of...

Foreign policy

 * Duke supported apartheid in South Africa stating that "even the blacks there have infinitely more rights than the blacks on the rest of the African continent" and that he believed that apartheid was the only system in that could be used in South Africa for the country to "still operate, to function, to survive" and he wanted to end all sanctions against South Africa. — Split into two sentences.
 * Duke stated that the United States should be neutral towards Israel stating that .. — Both "stated" and "stating are used" consider writing it as -> Duke beleived that the United States should be neutral towards Israel, asserting that ..

Racism and equality

 * Duke stated that about racism that.. -> that used two times.
 * Equal Rights Amendment needs to be linked (Equal Rights Amendment)

Aftermath

 * Duke later ran for United States Senate as a Republican in 1990, 1996, and 2016. He also ran in the 1991 gubernatorial election and... — From which state did he ran in senate election and gubernatorial election?
 * “Perot’s candidacy would preclude other third-party candidacies,”. —> "Perot's candidacy would preclude other third-party candidacies". (removing comma, using straight quotes in place of curly quotes).

Additional comments

 * Some comments still need to be addressed.
 * There is no mention of "Trenton Stokes" anywhere in the article except the lead and info-box.
 * The statement Duke received 47,047 votes from twenty states with his best results coming from the southern United States with him taking third place in Arkansas, Kentucky, Louisiana, and Mississippi. needs to be shifted to "Results" section. Try to keep everything chronological.
 * No mention of Michael Dukakis or Bush's stance on Duke's campaign.
 * Consider adding some MOS:LEADELEMENTS.
 * I added some MOS:LEADELEMENTS. Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 07:47, 9 July 2021 (UTC)


 * Consider adding Alt text.
 * Done by me on nominator's request. Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 07:47, 9 July 2021 (UTC)
 * Done by me on nominator's request. Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 07:47, 9 July 2021 (UTC)


 * The article still lacks much information about his campaign as Populist nominee. It deserves a level two heading and some sub-sections beneath it. Consider this book (The Rise of David Duke) for expansion in the campaign section.
 * If you prefer, please read "Thaddeus McCotter 2012 presidential campaign", which is a Featured Article. It deals only with McCotter's primary campaign, but is 17.5k characters and mentions everything important related to the topic. It would surely help you!

Although I feel that the current version of article doesn't meet the GA Criteria, especially 3a, but as it is my first review, I am requesting for a Second Review particularly for the Grammar part of the article. Also, let me know if I missed something. Thanks! Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 17:11, 20 June 2021 (UTC)


 * Ping me whenever you address the issues! Thanks! Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 05:17, 21 June 2021 (UTC)
 * , I think your review here is quite thorough. The prose doesn't have to be perfect, just reasonably easy to understand, and only certain segments of the MOS are considered for GA status. However, I think your concern that the lead doesn't follow the body is a legitimate grounds to demand improvement before passing the article, since MOS:LEAD must be followed in GA articles. Some reviewers distinguish between comments to improve the article, which are encouraged, and those strictly necessary to pass the GA criteria. (t &#183; c)  buidhe  05:46, 21 June 2021 (UTC)
 * Hi @Buidhe: Thanks for your comments. Indeed the review is quite thorough as I intended to cover as much as I can. Most of the prose is reasonably easy to understand, but my main suggestion remains to add as much information on the Populist nominee section as possible, considering books and biographies. The user has requested for a week or so to make the changes, so there's no issue putting the article on hold. Rest, most of my "Additional comments" are just suggestions. Thanks! Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 06:59, 21 June 2021 (UTC)
 * Done I have fixed all of the problems you have with the article except for a few which I will explain. The reason the article does not mention Bush or Dukakis' views on Duke's campaign is because they either didn't care or wanted to ignore him. Bush wouldn't get involved with Duke until the 1989 special election Duke ran in. As for the Stephen Koczak part it is necessary to show how strongly against Duke the Oklahoma Senate was. BTW if you give me a day I will get the campaign finance section done. Jon698 (talk) 19:30, 4 July 2021 (UTC)
 * Hi@Jon698: I have added some "Awaiting" tags in for you to make changes in the article. And you should surely add more content including campaign finance section. Review is still on hold. Thanks! Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 03:37, 5 July 2021 (UTC)
 * Okay so I have expanded the lead, expanded the description of Duke's two running mates, added the campaign finance section, I don't think there was an official campaign slogan, I added that the KKK was a white supremacist organization, and fixed the sentence structure problems you had.Jon698 (talk) 22:27, 8 July 2021 (UTC)
 * BTW can you do the ""(Democratic Primaries)" should be written before presidential election as "1988 Democratic primaries" in Campaign field." part since I don't know what you are asking for. Also can you do the alt text since I don't know how to do that. Jon698 (talk) 22:27, 8 July 2021 (UTC)
 * Also the reason I did not do the "here are almost 7 paragraphs in this section, with few paragraphs only of 2-3 lines. Consider merging paragraphs to create 3-4 paragraphs overall." change is because I believe that all of those separate paragraphs are needed as they cover separate topics. Jon698 (talk) 22:27, 8 July 2021 (UTC)

Final assessment

It's been a long review, and I am passing this Good article nomination as significant changes have been made by the nominator from this version to this version. The article contains many major aspects of Duke's campaign and is longer than some other GA's on presidential campaigns. It is well cited using clippings (which made verifying very easy). This article seems to meet the criteria. Congratulation and thanks for your contribution. My last suggestion would be to submit this article at WP:GOCE/REQ to resolve any remaining issues with grammar and wording, to prevent future issues. Thanks! Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 08:13, 9 July 2021 (UTC)