Talk:David Hale (baseball)/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Sanfranciscogiants17 (talk · contribs) 03:01, 18 June 2021 (UTC)

I'll be reviewing this! Sanfranciscogiants17 (talk) 03:01, 18 June 2021 (UTC)

Lead

 * Link infielder on first mention
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 16:17, 18 June 2021 (UTC)
 * No comma needed after bullpen
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 16:17, 18 June 2021 (UTC)
 * ”He was designated for assignment” – “Hale was designated for assignment” to avoid possible misreading.
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 16:17, 18 June 2021 (UTC)
 * Don’t need comma after April 2016
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 16:17, 18 June 2021 (UTC)
 * ”Yankees and Twins, but, after” – End the sentence after Twins, take out the but, and start the next sentence with After
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 16:17, 18 June 2021 (UTC)
 * The part about him being traded to make room for A. J. Cole isn’t mentioned later in the article. Either add it in or take it out entirely, as the lead is supposed to summarize what comes later.
 * ✅ I got my facts wrong, it was Stults who pushed him out of the Rockies' rotation, Cole was for the Yankees  Kncny11  (shoot) 21:04, 19 June 2021 (UTC)

Early life

 * Link infielder on first mention
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 16:17, 18 June 2021 (UTC)
 * ”He was primarily an infielder, and committed to play” – “Primarily an infielder, Hale committed to play”
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 16:17, 18 June 2021 (UTC)
 * ”began to pitch for Walker, and began to draw the interest” – “began to pitch for Walker, drawing the interest”
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 16:17, 18 June 2021 (UTC)

College career

 * ”at Princeton”, - I don’t think you actually need the comma at all here.
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 20:50, 19 June 2021 (UTC)
 * ”earning three hits” – “recording three hits”
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 20:50, 19 June 2021 (UTC)
 * Also, link hit on first mention
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 20:50, 19 June 2021 (UTC)
 * ”Later that season, Hale pitched a complete game win in the first game of a doubleheader against Cornell University. Although Princeton won the first game 7–5, they lost” – You can cut down on the words a bit by saying “Later that season, Hale pitched a complete game in the first game of a doubleheader against Cornell University. Although Princeton won 7–5, they lost”
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 20:50, 19 June 2021 (UTC)
 * Don’t need comma after innings in that sentence
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 20:50, 19 June 2021 (UTC)
 * You refer to at-bats with a hyphen in some places and without in others. Both are correct, but pick one for consistency’s sake.
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 21:04, 19 June 2021 (UTC)
 * Date of the University of Delaware victory?
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 20:50, 19 June 2021 (UTC)
 * ”Hale held to a” – “Hale posted a”
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 20:50, 19 June 2021 (UTC)
 * Link strikeouts on first mention
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 20:50, 19 June 2021 (UTC)
 * ”for holding to a 0.00 ERA” – “for posting a 0.00 ERA”
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 20:50, 19 June 2021 (UTC)
 * ”For the week of April 28” – “During the week of April 28”
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 20:50, 19 June 2021 (UTC)

Minor league career (2009-2013)

 * Link error
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 20:50, 19 June 2021 (UTC)
 * ”climbing to a 7.99 ERA” – “seeing his ERA climb to 7.99”
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 20:50, 19 June 2021 (UTC)
 * Date of the game against Salem?
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 20:50, 19 June 2021 (UTC)
 * Also, don’t need a comma after Red Sox
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 20:50, 19 June 2021 (UTC)
 * Don’t need to link complete game here, since it is already linked earlier.
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 20:50, 19 June 2021 (UTC)
 * ”He went 8-4” – “Hale went 8-4” to avoid possible misreading
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 20:50, 19 June 2021 (UTC)
 * ”between July 20 and August 1, and kept to a 2.00 ERA” – “between July 20 and August 1, posting a 2.00 ERA”
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 20:50, 19 June 2021 (UTC)
 * ”At the time of his recall to the majors” – “With Gwinnett” – Since Hale was called up on September 5, it is safe to say his minor league season was over.
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 20:50, 19 June 2021 (UTC)
 * ”He additionally recorded” – this is just nit-picky, but don’t need additionally.
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 20:50, 19 June 2021 (UTC)

Atlanta Braves (2013-2014)

 * ”against the San Diego Padres, the most of any Braves pitcher in his debut, but the Braves went on to lose the game 4–3.” – “against the San Diego Padres. Though this was the most of any Braves pitcher in his debut, the Braves went on to lose the game 4–3.”
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 21:07, 19 June 2021 (UTC)
 * ”was when Venable batted against Ross Ohlendorf of the Pittsburgh Pirates and Washington Nationals” – “were two instances when Venable batted against Ross Ohlendorf” – That way, people won’t read this and accidentally think Ohlendorf was with two teams at once.
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 21:07, 19 June 2021 (UTC)
 * ”in relief for the Braves' 2–1 loss” – “in relief during the Braves’ 2-1 loss”
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 21:07, 19 June 2021 (UTC)
 * ”named as the” – “named the”
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 21:07, 19 June 2021 (UTC)
 * ”fourth starter, as part of a five-man” – “fourth starter in a five-man”
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 21:07, 19 June 2021 (UTC)
 * It doesn’t look like Hale was actually the closer. He finished 13 games but never recorded a save.  Maybe switch this to the total number of relief appearances he made.
 * ✅ changed the wording to "finishing 13" rather than "closing"  Kncny11  (shoot) 21:07, 19 June 2021 (UTC)

Colorado Rockies (2015)

 * ”the offseason signing” – “the later signing”
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 21:04, 19 June 2021 (UTC)
 * ”He was assigned” – “Hale was assigned”
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 21:04, 19 June 2021 (UTC)
 * ”to begin 2015 and steadily improved over the early part of the season” – “to begin 2015, where, after a rough start, his performance steadily improved.”
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 21:04, 19 June 2021 (UTC)
 * ”on June 2, 2015 and pitched” – “on June 2, pitching that day”
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 21:04, 19 June 2021 (UTC)

Minor league journeyman (2016–2018)

 * ”starts and raising his ERA to 5.71, but found his stride on August 1, when he” – “starts and seeing his ERA rise to 5.71. However, on August 1, he”
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 21:04, 19 June 2021 (UTC)
 * Don’t need comma after 2017 season
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 21:04, 19 June 2021 (UTC)
 * ”another minor league contract with the Dodgers” – “another minor league contract, this time with the Dodgers.”
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 21:04, 19 June 2021 (UTC)
 * Don’t need comma after 4.74 ERA
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 21:04, 19 June 2021 (UTC)
 * ”In three of his starts” – “In three of Hale’s starts” – then change “caught for Hale” to “caught for him.”
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 21:04, 19 June 2021 (UTC)

Hanwha Eagles (2018)

 * No corrections here, just wanted to commend you on finding so much information about his time in Korea. This stuff is often a pain in the neck to find!
 * Thank you! I was lucky he gave an interview about it later  Kncny11  (shoot) 16:17, 18 June 2021 (UTC)

New York Yankees (2019-2020)

 * ”He started with” – “He started the season with” and you already make clear later on that he started as a starter.
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 21:04, 19 June 2021 (UTC)
 * ”designated Hale for assignment to make room on the postseason roster for Aaron Hicks and CC Sabathia” – “designated Hale for assignment when Aaron Hicks and CC Sabathia were added to the postseason roster” Since Hale wasn’t designated for assignment to make room for both of them.  Or, you could see if you can find a source that makes clear whether Hicks or Sabathia was coming off the 60-day DL (the one you’ve got now doesn’t say).
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 21:04, 19 June 2021 (UTC)

Philadelphia Phillies (2020–present)

 * Maybe put the combined stats between Philadelphia and New York?
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 21:04, 19 June 2021 (UTC)
 * ”deal with the Phillies” – “deal to remain with the Phillies”
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 21:04, 19 June 2021 (UTC)
 * ”would regularly be able” – “would not regularly be able”
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 21:04, 19 June 2021 (UTC)
 * You’ll need to find another source for this (such as Baseball-Reference), but I would point out that Hale only allowed one run in three innings in the 6-0 loss.
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 21:04, 19 June 2021 (UTC)

Pitching style

 * ”When signing him to the Phillies, manager Joe Girardi referred to Hale as” – “When the Phillies signed Hale, manager Joe Girardi referred to him as”
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 16:17, 18 June 2021 (UTC)
 * I would take out the last sentence. If Hale stays with the team a while, this could change, and it’s probably not going to be worth that much of a mention as his career continues to progress.
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 16:17, 18 June 2021 (UTC)

Personal life

 * ”Their first child together, Calder,” – “Their first child, Calder,” unless we have evidence he had another child.
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 16:17, 18 June 2021 (UTC)
 * ”during the offseason, and graduated in 2011” – “during the offseason, graduating in 2011”
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 16:17, 18 June 2021 (UTC)
 * Take out “Although” at the start of the second sentence and put “but” before Hale’s thesis advisor. Then, end the sentence at instead and start a new one.
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 16:17, 18 June 2021 (UTC)