Talk:David M. Shoup/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Retrolord (talk · contribs) 08:15, 7 March 2013 (UTC)

Hi! I'll review this one.  ★ ★ RetroLord★ ★  08:15, 7 March 2013 (UTC)

This doesn't really fit under any of the criterion, but you use unexpectedly twice in the lead. If possible, could you please change this? I certainly won't make it an issue here but if you plan to take this to FA level you may have issues regarding not varying the prose.  ★ ★ RetroLord★ ★  09:00, 8 March 2013 (UTC)
 * Fixed. — Ed! (talk) 02:12, 14 March 2013 (UTC)

"From an early age, Shoup was molded by progressive ideas of Indiana politicians, sympathizing with rural progressives' fighting with the interests of big businesses. He developed an anti-imperialist attitude.[9] His skepticism about American foreign policy influenced by a small-town background would make him an outspoken opponent of the unnecessary use of military force. Shoup felt the use of troops for what he considered economic or imperialist consideration were wrong, and would be a viewpoint he would carry for his entire career.[10]" There are a few problems with this paragraph. I think it could do without the "influenced by a small-town background" part, and could you please ref the part that says "outspoken opponent"? Also, is there a better spot in the article for this paragraph? It doesn't seem to suit the Early Years section, but i'll let it stay if we can't find another spot for it.  ★ ★ RetroLord★ ★  09:15, 8 March 2013 (UTC)
 * Added the ref. About graph placement, I tried finding other places for it but this seems about it; this viewpoint affected his military career from the first deployment to China, and it was caused by the viewpoint he had growing up. — Ed! (talk) 02:12, 14 March 2013 (UTC)


 * I'll be away for a few days but I'll get back to this promptly. — Ed! (talk) 13:56, 8 March 2013 (UTC)
 * Fixed all comments. Thanks for your review! — Ed! (talk) 02:30, 14 March 2013 (UTC)