Talk:Daybreaker (Architects album)/GA2

GA Review
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Reviewer: The Rambling Man (talk · contribs) 14:46, 11 March 2014 (UTC)

Comments general impressions are that it needs a really good copyedit, perhaps worth taking it to WP:GOCE... I'm going to stop here, there's so much wrong with the article right now, if you can make some positive progress in the next few days I'll continue, but I do recommend that this is put through a peer review and/or a decent copyedit. I'll put it on hold briefly. The Rambling Man (talk) 12:02, 18 March 2014 (UTC)
 * "who left on " left the band.
 * "same team and studio as Hollow Crown" as for ''Hollow...
 * "a music shift back" musical?
 * "album The Here and Now and" album names in italics.
 * First sentence, second para of lead "chart" used three times, repetitive.
 * "of Daybreaker, Architects released" Architects need not be italicised. Be consistent throughout with italics for album names and no italics for band name.
 * "atmospheric elements." used twice in the lead, repetitive.
 * 'clean-cut post-hardcore'. vs "nothing good to say about it" consistent quote mark usage.
 * "For the record the band attempted ..." I know what you mean, but it reads odd.
 * "their style why many " typo?
 * "many of their fanbase" much of their fanbase?
 * "selling out.[4][3] " keep references in numerical order.
 * "Though-out the ..." typo.
 * "The Hear And Now" typo? Check throughout.
 * "this as they didn't want" avoid contractions. Check throughout.
 * "During the early demo songs created during " repetitive.
 * "write my socially aware lyric" what?
 * "a lot of that he felt wasn't ordinarily" contraction, "a lot" reads poorly.
 * " wo acted" typo.
 * "By January they were Tracking the album" meaningless to most readers.
 * "of the record him and Tim..." -> "record that he and...."
 * "were to technical they wished to get them perfect" copyedit please.
 * "Bring me The Horizon" and "Stray from the Path" (note capitalisation in line with our articles).
 * " his screaming vocals sound like Satan." who knows what Satan sounds like? Perhaps "his vocals had a screaming Satanic quality?"
 * "for him leaving as he didn't seem" contractions.
 * Forgot to note that I've failed this GAN, please do a proper copyedit before considering repeating this. The Rambling Man (talk) 18:24, 31 March 2014 (UTC)