Talk:Deafness in Ireland

Source selection & citations
It's great to see that you've broken the ice on your article! The content you have there is good, but it appears that it's all coming from a single source, and I'm not sure that that source would satisfy Wikipedia's criteria on reliable sources (Verifiability). This source is from an organization that sells its services to teach ASL: you can do better.

In addition, each factual claim in your article needs its own citation. In this case, that would mean citing the same source over and over and over again - which may be tedious, but is absolutely necessary: do NOT wait until the end of a paragraph to cite the source! As a rule of thumb, each sentence should have a citation. Matthall.research (talk) 14:02, 13 September 2022 (UTC)


 * Already much improved: good work! Matthall.research (talk) 14:03, 14 September 2022 (UTC)
 * Initial graded feedback:
 * -Citation needed to support the relationship between ISL, ASL, and LSF.
 * -Please address the "when" flag
 * -When you started discussing the sex/gender-segregated schooling, I thought you were going to describe how that led to different dialects of ISL! That's a super-fascinating aspect of the language's history, so I would definitely like to see that included.
 * -No need to invoke a comparison with the US: oralism is everywhere.
 * -The content about sign language recognition belongs in the Human/Civil rights section.
 * Current score: 2/3 Matthall.research (talk) 03:14, 19 October 2022 (UTC)
 * apologies - the comments above should have been added under the Language Emergence section. Matthall.research (talk) 03:20, 19 October 2022 (UTC)

Language Emergence section
As noted above, this is very good content that mainly needs more frequent citations from more reliable sources. As the semester continues, it may make more sense to move some of the content here into other sections (e.g. education, human/civil rights).

As of 9/20/22, it would likely score close to a 2 out of 3. Matthall.research (talk) 19:17, 20 September 2022 (UTC)


 * Oops! I put this feedback under the previous section by mistake.   Matthall.research (talk) 03:20, 19 October 2022 (UTC)
 * Final graded feedback:
 * I'm not seeing substantial changes from the last submission; score remains 2/3. Matthall.research (talk) 20:12, 6 December 2022 (UTC)

Deaf-led organizations section
Really nice work!! This would score somewhere between 2 and 3 out of 3. My main question is about the inclusion of Chime as a "Deaf-led" organization. You note that the chair is the parent of a Deaf child, but statistically that means he's most likely to be hearing. I checked out the rest of the board members and only 1 of them mentions being a DHH person (and indirectly at that - he received a CI, and it's not clear whether that was prelingually or postlingually). The rest of the board members appear to be wealthy and well-intentioned hearing people, but it's not clear to me that this should be considered a Deaf-led organization. It does seem worth including, though, so perhaps one way to address this would be to rename this section something more neutral, like "Significant Organizations"? Matthall.research (talk) 15:07, 21 September 2022 (UTC)


 * Initial graded feedback:
 * I'm very satisfied with the changes you've made here: 3/3! Matthall.research (talk) 03:16, 19 October 2022 (UTC)

Human/Civil Rights section
Excellent once again! And some really encouraging content to boot! But that does make me wonder... can life for DHH folks in Ireland really be this good? Recall that Ireland is trying to present itself in the best possible light to the UN, so it would be especially illuminating to know what groups like Chime and the IDS think of all this. Are they content, or are there still areas where they need that their rights are not being fully honored? This is already above "satisfactory"; adding that would certainly bring it up to Exemplary. Matthall.research (talk) 00:02, 30 September 2022 (UTC)


 * Initial graded feedback:
 * I like the opening, and I like the summary! I would just like to see a little more context in between the two to help readers understand why you're singling out these specific articles.  In other words, please briefly mention the World Federation of the Deaf and its priority areas, and then explain how what follows is basically a "checkup" of sorts.
 * Finally, please remember that the CRPD report is written by hearing bureaucrats to make themselves look good. Are IDS, Chime, and Sound Advice all satisfied with the status quo?  If not, what are their main concerns at present?
 * Current score: 2/3 Matthall.research (talk) 03:19, 19 October 2022 (UTC)
 * Final graded feedback:
 * Not seeing any substantial changes here either; score remains 2/3. Matthall.research (talk) 20:15, 6 December 2022 (UTC)

Early Hearing Detection & Intervention
The description of hearing screening is outstanding - your SLP training shines through here!

The early intervention section starts off strong, and then begins discussing school-based services. Instead, this section should focus on what supports are available to DHH children and their families *prior* to school entry. At present, the reader gets the impression that no hearing technologies are offered until the child arrives at school; I doubt that that's true. There's also no mention of whether there are opportunities for children/families to learn ISL prior to school entry.

Score: 2/3 Matthall.research (talk) 20:19, 6 December 2022 (UTC)

Primary & Secondary Ed
Final graded feedback:

This section is excellent! I appreciate how you've organized it, starting with mainstream schools (the majority experience), and then providing an overview of the schools that use ISL. Really well done.

Score: 3/3

Matthall.research (talk) 20:22, 6 December 2022 (UTC)

Higher Education
Final graded feedback:

I smiled as I read this: I can very easily imagine a DHH student or their friend or family member discovering these amazing resources thanks to your wiki article! The only element that I wish were included here is information about how common it is for DHH people in Ireland to pursue higher ed, and how that compares to hearing people.

Score: 2.75/3 Matthall.research (talk) 20:24, 6 December 2022 (UTC)

Employment
Final graded feedback:

One significant mistake here: the critical study you describe here was not conducted by the Irish Times: it was "conducted by the Irish Deaf Society and prepared by Dr Pauline Conroy of Ralaheen Ltd", and *reported* by the Irish Times. This matters. You also waited far too long to cite the source; it should have been cited in the very first sentence.

The "Ongoing Tasks" section begins to stray from the encyclopedic mission of wikipedia. I don't really disagree with anything here; some of it is just too speculative for this outlet.

Score: 1.75/2 Matthall.research (talk) 20:31, 6 December 2022 (UTC)

Healthcare
Final graded feedback:

-Initial sentence needs a citation

-2nd sentence needs a citation (which is provided in the 3rd sentence: see comment in the previous section). But you've identified the correct author this time: good!

-The remainder of the section is good but largely theoretical/conceptual. A reader who wants to know about actual health outcomes among DHH people in Ireland won't learn much from this section.

Score: 1.75/3 Matthall.research (talk) 20:41, 6 December 2022 (UTC)