Talk:Death and state funeral of Raúl Alfonsín/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Calvin999 (talk · contribs) 18:38, 20 August 2015 (UTC)

Hi. I'm Calvin999 and I am reviewing this nomination. — Calvin999 19:42, 20 August 2015 (UTC)


 * was the president of Argentina from → presumably he's not the only president of Argentina?
 * He died on March 31, 2009, → Just checking, does Argentina use American date formatting?
 * at the age of 82. → aged 82.
 * a big candlelight vigil took place in the vicinity of it. → There's something about this which reads a bit informal and not very encyclopaedic.
 * the most important politicians → Same as before. I suggest 'senior politicians'
 * people from other countries also voiced their respect for him. → Such as?
 * where he was left. → where he was left?! I doubt he was just left there.
 * You link lung cancer in Health and death, but not in the lead?
 * a number of turnings for the worse, → Too informal
 * The president Cristina Kirchner → The current president
 * Link Cristina Kirchne
 * Sadler announced → Is his name misspelt?
 * Sadler announced it at 21:03, after confirming it. → This reads awkward
 * He was sleeping at the moment, → Again, this isn't well constructed and is a bit confusing.
 * If Argentina using American dates then they likely use American English spelling? So neighbours should be neighbors.
 * The president Cristina Fernández de Kirchner was → You're using a full name here and linking it, but the previous section is styled differently and not linked?
 * was out of the country at the moment, → Same as before, this makes no sense.
 * There were almost a thousand people, → Almost a thousand people attended,
 * and singed → and sung
 * The people was → The people were
 * but the huge amount → huge is too informal. Vast, perhaps?
 * The governments of Spain, United States, Brazil, Mexico, Uruguay, Paraguay, Peru, Colombia, France and Chile → I would alphabetise these.
 * after futfilling his goals. → typo, I guess you mean fulfilling.

I debated the outcome of this nomination with myself for a while. I found it quite confusing in places. I'm assuming that English is not your first language? I will put it on hold for 7 days, as you should be able to amend the above. — Calvin999 20:00, 20 August 2015 (UTC)
 * Outcome

✅ Cambalachero (talk) 17:24, 26 August 2015 (UTC)
 * Great, well done. Passing. — Calvin999  17:26, 26 August 2015 (UTC)