Talk:Death of Tom Simpson/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: ComputerJA (talk · contribs) 12:09, 4 August 2013 (UTC)


 * I'll be reviewing this. Thanks in advance for your work on the article! ComputerJA ( ☎  •  ✎  ) 12:09, 4 August 2013 (UTC)

Review
Overall a really good article. It is well-sourced throughout by reliable sources. It is well-written and interesting. I'm glad I took this for review; thanks for your work on it. I did some copyediting as I went along reading the article. Please go back and check if I made any mistakes or if you disagree with any of my changes. Below are a few of my concerns that I felt should be addressed before passing the article. Thanks again! ComputerJA ( ☎  •  ✎  ) 18:58, 5 August 2013 (UTC)


 * needed to earn as much money as possible before retiring – I would say change needed to wanted.


 * His plan was to either finish in the top three or wear the yellow jersey – Please link yellow jersey for readers unfamiliar with the Tour de France.


 * He was not able to eat and rode on reserves – Reserves is linked to Dynamic reserve, which has to do with biology. Please link the word to a correct link or remove the link altogether.


 * with his rivals now ahead – The word now is usually avoided in Wikipedia per WP:DATED. Consider revising.


 * On the evening of stage 12 his personal manager – Do you have the exact date? You can still leave on the evening of [date inserted] on stage 12 …


 * The date he died, 13 July 1967, is not found anywhere in the Death section nor anywhere in the paragraphs.


 * I want to suggest linking Carpentras.


 * saying, "That's it for you, Tom." – Can you add the exact source where this quote is found? Thanks.


 * he was pronounced dead, with official time of death of 5:40 pm. – It can be simplified to he was pronounced dead at 5:40 p.m.


 * For a while, nothing happened – Not encyclopedic. Consider deleting or rephrasing completely.


 * There was no inquest in either Britain or France – Please link inquest.


 * Simpson was buried in Harworth – Please link Harworth.


 * The magazine Cycling – now Cycling Weekly – Link Cycling Weekly instead of Cycling b/c that is the actual name of the article linked.


 * In nearby Bédoin, there is a plaque in the square – Please link Bédoin.


 * BTW, just realized that all the refs named "Howard 2010" do not lead anywhere. Please make sure to fix it.

Thanks, I did the two remaining ones to pass the article. Not sure if you missed them but I didn't think they were that big of a deal, so I took care of them myself. Thanks for the interesting article. Congratulations. ComputerJA ( ☎  •  ✎  ) 04:26, 8 August 2013 (UTC)
 * Cheers for reviewing this, I'm glad the subject interested you. I intended to fix the other concerns you raised but I didn't have time last night. I'll sort out the "That's it for you, Tom." ref. I'm planning on doing some more work to get it up to FA status, so your work is appreciated. Thanks for the barnstar! BaldBoris 10:56, 8 August 2013 (UTC)