Talk:Deepak Tijori/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Jaguar (talk · contribs) 14:26, 30 January 2015 (UTC)

I'll take this one and will leave initial comments within a day. Thanks! ☯ Jag  uar  ☯ 14:26, 30 January 2015 (UTC)

GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria


 * 1) Is it reasonably well written?
 * A. Prose is "clear and concise", without copyvios, or spelling and grammar errors:
 * B. MoS compliance for lead, layout, words to watch, fiction, and lists:
 * 1) Is it factually accurate and verifiable?
 * A. Has an appropriate reference section:
 * B. Citation to reliable sources where necessary:
 * C. No original research:
 * 1) Is it broad in its coverage?
 * A. Major aspects:
 * B. Focused:
 * 1) Is it neutral?
 * Fair representation without bias:
 * 1) Is it stable?
 * No edit wars, etc:
 * 1) Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
 * A. Images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid fair use rationales are provided for non-free content:
 * B. Images are provided if possible and are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions:
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass or Fail:
 * 1) Is it stable?
 * No edit wars, etc:
 * 1) Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
 * A. Images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid fair use rationales are provided for non-free content:
 * B. Images are provided if possible and are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions:
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass or Fail:
 * B. Images are provided if possible and are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions:
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass or Fail:
 * Pass or Fail:

Initial comments

 * The only major concern here is the lead section. It needs to be expanded to summarise the article and comply per WP:LEAD. A rule I tend to follow is that the lead should almost act as a "mini article", and at the moment it contains a list of his roles. I would expand more on his personal life and add some more details on his career (this can easily be done by shifting content around)
 * I have added a few more points.


 * "While in college, Tijori joined an amateur theatre group. Aamir Khan, Ashutosh Gowariker, Paresh Rawal and Vipul Shah were also the members of the same group" - which group was this? Is it sustained by a reference?
 * Probably it was a college level amateur group. Source is given at the end of the para.


 * "His friends influenced him and Tijori pursued a career in film acting. He had to struggle a lot during his early career" - not grammatically great, how about His friends influenced him to pursue a career in film acting, in which during his early career he struggled.... Also, what kind of struggles?
 * Reworded per suggestion.

"*He had worked for Cine Blitz magazine and also as a hotel manager" - the end needs a citation
 * Added.


 * "Tijori portrayed minor characters in Tera Naam Mera Naam, Main Tera Dushman and Parbat Ke Us Paar" - these three films should have years
 * Added.


 * "...alongside Aamir Khan, in which Tijori played his first negative role" - why was this role negative?
 * Reworded.


 * ""He was a housemate on Bigg Boss (Season 1), a replacement for Salil Ankola" - how about He played the role of a housemate on Bigg Boss (Season 1), as replacement for Salil Ankola
 * Reworded per suggestion.


 * "On Day 7, Salil was ordered by the Bombay High Court" - is this real life or part of the show? And I would change the prose to seventh day
 * Clarified and reworded.


 * "Tijori had planned to produce 1984 — Black October" - does an article exist for this?
 * No, there's no article for it.

On hold
I'll leave this on hold for the standard seven days. The prose is a little rough in some places, but I'm sure you can handle it. Overall the lead needs to be expanded and anything else I mentioned above too. The references are in excellent condition. If you have a any questions, please ask. Thanks! ☯ Jag  uar  ☯ 15:18, 30 January 2015 (UTC)
 * I have addressed the above issues and copy-edited the article. Do let me know if further improvements are required. Thanks.--Skr15081997 (talk) 13:57, 1 February 2015 (UTC)

Close - promoted
Thank you for addressing them, I am confident that this article is now stable and well-written enough to meet the GA criteria. The prose is pretty solid now, so promoting ☯  Jag  uar  ☯ 16:46, 1 February 2015 (UTC)