Talk:Desmond Tutu/GA2

GA Review
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Reviewer: Power~enwiki (talk · contribs) 20:37, 10 September 2018 (UTC)

Note: the first GA review was in 2008; I plan to completely ignore it. power~enwiki ( π, ν ) 20:39, 10 September 2018 (UTC)
 * Many thanks for taking a look at this. Midnightblueowl (talk) 23:08, 10 September 2018 (UTC)

I've fixed three red links; Martin Luther King Jr Peace Prize and St Barnabas College are pages I'll try to create (likely at slightly different titles) in the near future. Yogi Sip should also be a redirect somewhere, but I don't know where. power~enwiki ( π, ν ) 20:08, 11 September 2018 (UTC)
 * Yogi Sip appears to be a specific brand; we don't have an article on yoghurt drinks, but we do have a Yoghurt article. My concern is that that is too unrelated, however. Midnightblueowl (talk) 11:01, 13 September 2018 (UTC)
 * Yeah, that's a problem that doesn't need to be fixed here. power~enwiki ( π, ν ) 20:28, 13 September 2018 (UTC)

Two more concerns before I approve this:

In the lead, He was widely popular among the black majority refers to the South African black majority, right? That entire paragraph is confused between local and world opinions. power~enwiki ( π, ν ) 20:28, 13 September 2018 (UTC)
 * Yes, that's a good point, I'll make the change. Midnightblueowl (talk) 20:04, 14 September 2018 (UTC)

I'm not quite sure how to fix it, but having 5 separate claims attributed to Du Boulay in the first paragraph of the personal life section (opposite a blockquote) is too much. Perhaps everything after "typical African warmth and a spontaneous lack of inhibition" could be moved later in the section? power~enwiki ( π, ν ) 20:28, 13 September 2018 (UTC)
 * You're right, this is a tricky one. It's a shame I've had to rely so much on Du Boulay to describe Tutu's personality, but the other biographers just don't offer so many handy descriptive quotes. I've moved some of the material around as well as dividing that first paragraph in two and making some alterations to the prose. Do you think that that does the trick? Midnightblueowl (talk) 20:20, 14 September 2018 (UTC)
 * It's still not perfect, but it's significantly better, and good enough for GA. power~enwiki ( π, ν ) 04:38, 16 September 2018 (UTC)