Talk:Detroit-style pizza/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: The Rambling Man (talk · contribs) 18:42, 22 April 2020 (UTC)

Comments
 * "Detroit-style pizza is a style of pizza developed in Detroit, Michigan." I know this is conventionally how we start articles, but this is so obvious I can't believe it. Perhaps think of a different way instead of saying A-style B is B from A.
 * hahaha...done —valereee (talk) 17:05, 23 April 2020 (UTC)


 * "Small Detroit-style pizza from Green Lantern Pizza in Madison Heights, Michigan." no need to mention the restaurant and no period required as it's a fragment.
 * done —valereee (talk) 17:05, 23 April 2020 (UTC)


 * Lead doesn't need that single-sentence paragraph, an article of this brevity probably only needs one lead para (per MOS:LEAD).
 * done —valereee (talk) 17:05, 23 April 2020 (UTC)


 * "traced back historically" do you need both "traced back" and "historically"?
 * recast entire sentence, it was kind of a stinker —valereee (talk) 17:05, 23 April 2020 (UTC)


 * "Buddy's Rendezvous" where was this located?
 * done, but now it's a very complex sentence, see what you think —valereee (talk) 17:05, 23 April 2020 (UTC)


 * "Sources disagree whether the source " source x 2.
 * done —valereee (talk) 17:30, 23 April 2020 (UTC)


 * "a "focaccia-like crust" with pepperoni pressed into the dough."[4] " a spare quote mark here.
 * done —valereee (talk) 17:30, 23 April 2020 (UTC)


 * "weren't " avoid contractions.
 * done —valereee (talk) 17:30, 23 April 2020 (UTC)


 * I would link (pipe) Buddy's Pizza at Bobby's Rendezvous rather than wait for the rename.
 * done —valereee (talk) 17:30, 23 April 2020 (UTC)


 * "The restaurant later became Buddy's Pizza. Over the next several decades" later but when later as without that, we have no context for when the next several decades took place.
 * Hm...can't find a date for the name change, but I've recast the following sentence, see what you think. —valereee (talk) 17:30, 23 April 2020 (UTC)


 * "in Hazel Park" ->"in Hazel Park, Michigan"
 * done —valereee (talk) 17:32, 23 April 2020 (UTC)


 * " as "Sometimes" sometimes.
 * "wasn't " avoid contractions.
 * "he'd " again.
 * "ow do I figure this out?"[6] Randazzo..." merge paras.
 * Merge next two paras too.
 * "America"[15][10] " ref order.
 * Merge last two paras. Starting to become a bit proseline.
 * " topping.[19][14]" ref order.
 * Reception section is too "listy". Merge those paras.
 * Date formats in refs should be consistent.

That's all I have for a quick run through. On hold for now. Cheers. The Rambling Man (Stay indoors, stay safe!!!!) 16:19, 23 April 2020 (UTC)


 * I think I've finished all of these, thanks for the excellent input! LMK what else! —valereee (talk) 18:23, 23 April 2020 (UTC)
 * All good, I made a couple of little tweaks, but now happy to promote. The Rambling Man (Stay indoors, stay safe!!!!) 07:33, 25 April 2020 (UTC)
 * , great, thanks for the review! —valereee (talk) 10:55, 25 April 2020 (UTC)