Talk:Dick Donovan/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: MWright96 (talk · contribs) 12:05, 8 April 2020 (UTC)

Taking this review as part of the GAN Backlog Drive of April to May 2020. MWright96 (talk) 12:05, 8 April 2020 (UTC)
 * 1) It is reasonably well written.
 * a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
 * 1) It is factually accurate and verifiable.
 * a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources):  c (OR):
 * 1) It is broad in its coverage.
 * a (major aspects): b (focused):
 * 1) It follows the neutral point of view policy.
 * Fair representation without bias:
 * 1) It is stable.
 * No edit wars, etc.:
 * 1) It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
 * a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail:
 * 1) It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
 * a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail:
 * Pass/Fail:

General

 * Hyphens should be replaced by en dashes (–) per MOS:DASH

Lead

 * Wikilink the term winning percentage
 * "Donovan struggled in 1960 and moved to the bullpen," - and was moved

Early life

 * "where he played shortstop until converting to pitcher his senior year." - the text in bold can be written to say to a pitcher for his senior year. or to a pitcher in his senior year.
 * Wikilink exhibition game for those unfamiliar with the sports term
 * "Donovan's pitching caught the eye of Boston Braves' scout Jeff Jones," - more formal; can be written to say either attracted the notice, impressed or attracted the attention

Early years

 * "He made his major league debut April 24," - debut on April 24,
 * "Donovan started the year with the Braves, then spent most of the year in Milwaukee," - repetition of the word "year"
 * "Fearing he would get stuck in the minor leagues," - remain
 * "and he helped the Brewers win the American Association pennant.[2][1]" - refs in numerical order please
 * "with the exception of a brief call-up in late May/early June." - late May to early June.
 * “It brought me under the wing of [Whitlow] Wyatt." Wyatt, a former pitcher for the Dodgers," - Try not to have the last word of a sentence start the next one like this
 * "taught Donovan how to throw a slider while Donovan was at Atlanta." - repetition of the word "Donovan"
 * "Donovan made the Tigers out of spring training but only appeared in two games before the Tigers" - repetition of the word "Tigers"

Chicago White Sox

 * You might want to say briefly who Bob Keegan was
 * "though he did not pitch in the game.[11][1]" - again, the references are better off placed in numerical order
 * "His record was 13-2 July 20" - 13–2 on July 20
 * "Donovan finished his first full season in the big leagues" - please avoid using the term "big leagues"
 * "Donovan gave up three runs in ​7 2⁄3" - do you mean ​7 2⁄3 innings?
 * "When he faced Kansas City August 15," - faced Kansas City on August 15,
 * "Against Cleveland August 31," - similar issue to the one above
 * "Donovan threw a shutout against Cleveland May 25, 1957," - again the same as the two previous queries raised above
 * "He gave up four runs" - how about substituting the word "gave up" with relinquished
 * Wikilink doubleheader for non-Sports fans
 * "Eight and three on July 3," - please clarify what is meant with regards of the text I've highlighted in bold
 * "There was a bright spot for him on June 15," - try to rewrite the text in bold to a more formal way of writing
 * "He came alive" - same issue as above
 * "the second half of the season," - the word during or in should be added to the beginning of this text
 * "He had a bit of a skid to start 1959;" - try to reword the text in bold so that it is more formal
 * "Donovan was 9-6 September 2" - on September 2
 * "After only going ​2 2⁄3 in a no-decision" - feel like there is a word missing after the text in bold
 * "a July 29 game against the Senators in which he gave up" - relinquished for variety
 * "but it was still 5.38, highest it had been in any of Donovan's full major league seasons." - the highest

Washington Senators

 * Wikilink Sports Illustrated
 * "as his stellar 2.40 ERA (a career-low) led the American League." - avoiding using non-neutral wording such as "stellar"

Cleveland Indians

 * Wikilink the term Opening Day
 * "he shut out the Red Sox April 10." - on April 10
 * "He got off to an 8-0 start," - try He commenced with an
 * "Again, he was selected to both All-Star Games," - Donovan was again selected to play both All-Star Games,
 * "September 4, he limited the White Sox to two runs" - During a game on September 4,
 * "(tops in the AL)" - (topping the AL standings)
 * Wikilink Sporting News
 * "July 5, he held the Yankees to one run," - On July 5,
 * "Against the White Sox in the second game of a doubleheader September 6," - during September 6,
 * "he gave up 16 hits" - you can change the word in bold to relinquished for variety

Playing style

 * "when coach (and later manager) Whitlow Wyatt helped teach it to him." - I think the parentheses should be deleted to avoid sounding like a side-note

Personal life

 * "Donovan married his wife, Patricia Casey, on February 7, 1959. Patricia, from Quincy, Massachusetts, was a stewardess for United Airlines." - think these two sentences can be merged into one and shortened
 * "he earned his stockbroker's license and joined the reputable firm of Eastman & Dillon in Boston." - more concise; joined Boston-based firm Eastman & Dillon.
 * "He died from cancer January 6, 1997." - on January 6, 1997.